✿ five times my muse almost texted yours, and the one time they did.
4.38pm: i just dont understand y u couldnt tell me | unsent
4.39pm: did i not make it clear that i loved u | unsent
4.45pm: did u not think i felt the same way or what | unsent
4.55pm: did u expect me to wait forever for u | unsent
4.56pm: bc i wouldve if u had said it | unsent
4.57pm: what was the name of that one song | sent
▲ five time my muse thought about kissing yours, and the one time they did.
she walked into the lodge that first day, surrounded by snow and mountains and her dance troupe. he was carrying some other person’s bags, and he gave her a soft smile as he passed. she knew from the second that her face heated up she wanted to know him better, maybe even kiss him.
during their first actual interaction. she had been walking through the halls of the lodge and passed him. she’d turned red again but had stopped him when she noticed a watch on the ground. it was much too large for his wrist and looked far out of a bellhop’s price range, but she just handed it back. his fingers lingered just a bit on hers and it made her think for the first time in a long time what it would be like to have someone’s hands wrapped around her as their lips touched. he thanked her and left and she knew she was gone.
she was out and about in the town nearby, wandering around while her friends went snowboarding since they’d all agreed she was too clumsy to be trusted on such a thing. she’d just entered a shop when she saw him there, too, talking to some guy he apparently knew at the register. he smiled at her and she smiled back. they talked for the first actual time, short and sweet, but all she thought of for the next several days was what he would sound like breathing against her lips.
in the lodge, sat by the fireplace with an icepack on her swelling ankle. she’d tried to go skiing with frankly terrible results and it hadn’t surprised anyone that she’d fallen and hurt herself. he came over with a fresh pack and switched them out. his hands were cold and he smelled like woodchips and she could feel the callouses on his fingers and she wanted to know more. he sat with her for hours, just talking about things, until her friends barreled in, high on adrenaline. she wanted him to kiss her goodnight, but knew he wouldn’t. her friends teased her for days. they still do, until they remember.
caught out on the mountain, her ankle giving out on a hike. he’d been snowboarding when he found her limping along. she clearly must not weigh much, even with the years of training giving her muscle, because he guided her onto his back and hiked back to the lodge, leaving his board out in the snow. he made jokes the entire way, raising her spirits and making her laugh in spite of the pain. he set her down on the same couch where they’d talked, and all she wanted was for him to lean forward just that little bit and kiss her. he didn’t, but they did have plans for a snowboarding lesson that week.
after several hours of trying to teach her how to balance properly on the board and several snow angels, they’d both just about given up. they were having fun, though, laughing and throwing snowballs and pushing each other into the snowdrifts. she pulled him with her when he did it the last time, throwing both of them into the snow. he smelled like winter and pine trees and firewood and she was tired of waiting for him. so she pulled him into a soft kiss and her heart didn’t start beating again until he pulled her in for a second.
☁ five times my muse has thought about yours, and the one time they do something about it.
the first night after she had gone back to new york, she couldn’t sleep. she had grown used to sleeping beside him, cuddled next to a fireplace, or at least listening to him play his guitar. she had typed out a message before realizing it was pointless; it was nearing seven in the morning, so it would be a few hours before he was even possibly awake. she set the phone down and curled into one of the sweaters she’d snagged from his closet.
four months into their distance and things had eased only a bit. it was still hard for her to sleep, but it was getting easier. they talked constantly, and he’d sent her recordings of himself playing that she listened to at night. it wasn’t quite the same, but it was something. she warmed up her muscles, the slight twinge in her ankle reminding her of their time at the lodge. she wondered who he was talking to right then.
two weeks later, they were both getting busy. tourist season was back up, their anniversary was approaching, and she had no idea how to celebrate, or if he even wanted to. she’d been trying to think of a gift for weeks when she spotted the camera in the corner. she waited until she was the last one left and set it up. she queued up one of his favorite songs, one he’d played during the blizzard. then she danced for him.
two weeks before she realized. they hadn’t spoken in days, and it was quickly becoming wees. she tried, but he had customers and responsibilities, and she was gearing up for another tour. she was out, with her dance troupe, at a bar, when one of his songs came on. not his, really, but one he’d covered for her. she wasn’t sure how to explain to everyone why she was crying, or how to explain that she’d just realized how she felt, so she left. she curled into bed with his sweater, but the lodge smell had been gone for months.
one week before. the calls and texts were almost non-existent, and she knew what it meant. she’d known there were other girls at the lodge, and she knew how irresistible he was. but he’d never stray, either; he’d stay until she let him loose, even if his heart wasn’t truly in it, because she knew he couldn’t be the one to hurt her, and he wouldn’t be the one to end things. but she wouldn’t just sit and let her heart break over a boy who didn’t even feel the same. if you love him, let him go, keelie had said. maybe she would.
the day. she’d been trying to find the words all week, unsure how to voice her thoughts to him. she watched the video she’d made for him and cried. she kept a crystal in her hand all day - hoping it would give her strength - but when the time came, she knew she wouldn’t stay fine. she never was. she hit the call button and took a deep breath as she heard him answer.
