Just Don't
When Natashas on her period and training alone don't try.
Canon divergent
It's a bright morning in stark tower, a morning that should be quiet and not interrupted by noise. But this was not a normal morning, it was the morning of the 13th.
Some may ask why the 13th is such a special date, but Clint knows very well what the 13th is. Every month like some kind of clockwork, Natasha starts her period on the 13th. And every time she train all da by herself because she's pissed off at everything and everyone for no reason other than her own uterus trying to murder her. Clint being Natashas best friend for almost a decade knows just what to do to handle his spider when she's got venom in her veins.
Clint usually slept in till 10 am when Natasha was like this, not only was he catching up on lost sleep from raising his kids with Laura when he got to go home, but he was giving his fiery redhead some time to burn off some of the anger before he got up and came to her rescue.
But sometimes being lazy was to someone's detriment because none of the other men knew that Natasha was on her period or that she even had one at all, they were all under the persuasion that she had graduated the red room and had a hysterectomy as the result. This was what they were told and Natasha never corrected them because it kept them from asking about her period just for being a little extra moody. They just assumed she was moody and went on with their lives. But this morning a certain tin man made his grave mistake.
With the sounds of gunshots Tony rose frustrated, it was barely 9 am and yet Natasha was at her training. He pulled on some pants and rolled out of bed going to ask the widow what her reason was for training before the whole tower had arisen.
Natasha set the smoking gums down when she hears Tony enter the range.
"Leave now Tony, I'm in no mood," Natasha said keeping her head firmly tilted down.
"why should I? Hmm I own this tower and can do as I please" tony said in his usual snark with a little extra due to how long he's been awake and the extreme lack of his morning coffee.
"I'm not in the mood for company, now go" Natasha growled reloading the magazine in one of her guns.
"why not?" Tony asked
"because I want to beat the shit out of everyone and I don't know why," Natasha said with an anger in her tone.
Tony looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"who lit the fire under your ass this morning?" Tony asked
"currently you if you don't leave," Natasha growled again. Aiming her gun and firing two shots with startling accuracy.
Tony peered at the target and saw her accuracy and paled.
"I suggest leaving if you don't want to turn into target practice tin man," the spy said in an unsettlingly calm tone.
Tony backed out keeping an insanely close eye on her gun.
Clint was pouring a cup of coffee when Tony emerged from the elevator.
"Your bestie is scary," Tony said sitting with his coffee and flinching lightly when he heard gunshots again.
"she training?" Clint asked noting what day it was today.
"go see for yourself legolas" Tony said
Clint did as Tony suggested and went to the range.
"Widow. Love. It's Hawkeye," Clint announced entering the range. He always called her love when she was like this, it usually softened her kill drive.
"hey Clint," Natasha sighed letting herself be dragged into a hug by the slightly shorter man.
"is it that time again?" He asked.
"yeah, Tony came in and pissed me off. I'm almost out of tampons, and I feel like murdering people" Natasha told with a sigh
"it'll be ok spider, go lock yourself in your room with some cheesy Russian movies I'll be back in an hour with everything you need." Clint said hoping a murder mission and a box of tampons and bar of chocolate would lighten her mood.
Clint left for the store and went to his favorite department store with a hunting section. He grabbed tampons, chocolate, and enough ammunition for Natashas gun for the next month (or next two weeks depending on how murdery she's feeling). He also grabbed some powder for Natashas latex suits after they get cleaned later today. The cashier looked at him questioningly in the checkout lane because he had such an obscure collection of items.
"I have an assassin girlfriend, she's on her period and she was out of ammo and wanted to head to the gun range later," the cashier looked away quickly and rung up Clint's items.
After he returned to the tower he went to nick fury to get Natasha a mission that would satisfy her murdery tendencies.
"here you go Barton, she'll have to find and kill this man without anyone noticing her, or getting a good look at her face. Tony developed a mask that'll cover her mouth and nose, her eyes will be uncovered and her hair will be out but trying to identify her on those alone. Almost impossible unless you’re a Russian level spy." Nick told
Clint said his thanks and returned to his spider.
“Natka, I have a mission for you to complete. And I brought you everything you need.” Clint said as he entered the room to find Natasha throwing her daggers at the dartboard on her wall.
“Thanks Clint." Natasha said exiting as she read the mission file.
When she left the tower she was in her all black leather suit with not only her close range gun but her sniper as well. Tony had given her the mask he had developed no questions asked. It was a face covering that gave the user room to breathe comfortably and filtered CO2 out of the mask efficiently. It's exterior was a matte black with a red hourglass on the sides. The hourglass was hardly larger than a dime so it didn't make her a sitting duck for being too obviously out of place.
While Natasha went full on ninja, Clint stayed at their home and made her bed. He also made her a silly care basket with a heating pad, candy, tampons and a handwritten coupon for a free back massage any day of her period for the next year. Goofy but meaningful.
Clint left her some cozy pajamas out for when she returns and got started on her favorite period meal: grilled chicken Alfredo with potato puffs and seared vegetables.
Hopefully that'd lighten her mood
Hope you enjoy ❤️