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Confession #5:
whenever i get comments/compliments on my art i am always ALWAYS grateful. but i can’t help but think that ‘what if they’re just saying that but don’t mean it’. it’s hard because i went through that and hear from others and just….there are just a lot of fake people out there. i think it’s part of…uncertainty and…trust maybe? but if you do that irl tbh i could just cry right on the spot. i grew up not getting compliments from my own parents esp with art. my dad always pushed me out of ‘drawing anime’ and do more realistic stuff, which i didn’t like. so i always hid away and not show my work to others (esp family/their friends/etc). i guess he looked down on artists because they didn’t earn money or sth (btw this was the 90s). my own sister had to defend me about it, my dad got mad but later on kinda backed off. this is the reason why i’m so hidden away online, i don’t talk much about myself–not even my real name etc. you know when my dad was ‘proud’ of my art? maybe around my mid-20s. to show off something i can do…”something”–that isn’t embarrassing. like working in animation studios and shit (i was already in my late 20s). they never saw any of my art unless they accidentally do.
so what i’m saying is, i’m very grateful to all of the comments/compliments i get from you guys. always. i just don’t have the self-worth to always believe everything. tho i try to change the way i think.
