#clueless customers

[personalityisnice]

Dear Starbucks patrons,

I don't know if you know this, but no one is impressed (or affected at all, really) by your claims that you've been getting the same drink for fifteen years and it's always looked different from what we've given you. If this is true at all and not an attempted power play by you (and we have little to no way of knowing either way) perhaps corporate has changed the recipe. Perhaps another store you went to changed the recipe to make the drink look like you wanted and never told you. Perhaps your memory is not as good as you think it is. Nevertheless, all we have to go on is the name of the drink and the recipe for said drink. If we make it and it doesn't look like what you want we can remake it, but repeating that it doesn't look right and you've never seen it look like that is not helpful, for you or us.

Sincerely, a Starbucks Employee.

[customers-r-literally-the-worst]

Highlights of my day #9

“Oh, you work here!” - dude standing behind me (who apparently thought it would be rude to elbow another customer out of his way but had no problem with it once he realized I was an employee)

Uh yeah, what was your first clue? I mean, I’m only standing here in my uniform holding a scan-gun and a printer, sticking Manager’s Special mark-down stickers on all these cartons of eggs. I mean . . . ???

[customers-r-literally-the-worst]

WTF questions

One of my former coworkers once got asked if there were peanuts in the peanut butter.

Uh . . . whut.

[customers-r-literally-the-worst]

Pet Peeve #61

When I’m standing all the way at one end of the store or the other, someone asks me what aisle something is on, I tell them, and then they ask,

“Which way is that?”

Like, there’s only one way you can go without crashing into an external wall, so I guess . . . that way?

[customers-r-literally-the-worst]

Lasagna sauce

My store doesn’t have a huge international foods section - it’s basically just Latin, Asian, and Italian foods on one aisle. One day this woman was standing there staring at the Mexican/Latin section of the aisle, then starts complaining loudly to me that we have all this enchilada sauce, but no lasagna sauce. So, I point here to the other side of the aisle, where the Italian foods are, and tell her that all the pasta sauce is there.

Nope. She starts informing me that she’s not looking for pasta sauce, she’s looking for LASAGNA sauce.

(Look, I make a pretty kick-ass lasagna, so I know a thing or two here.) I’m standing there trying to tell her that there’s really no such thing as “lasagna sauce” specifically, that you just use whatever pasta sauce you want, but no, she’s refusing to listen.

Well, the Grocery department manager and Grocery assistant manager happened to be nearby, so pretty soon there’s the three of us standing there, all of us telling her that there’s no such thing as specifically lasagna sauce, there’s just pasta sauce. But of course, she’s “been shopping here for 30 years and has always bought it here!!!!111!!!!” despite being told that no, we’ve never carried anything called “lasagna sauce” so she couldn’t have bought it at our store.

She’s still really hung up on all the enchilada sauce we carry and apparently looking for the lasagna sauce in the same spot, carrying on about how all we have right there is enchilada sauce and why don’t we have lasagna sauce there, too, so the Grocery assistant manager tells her, “Well enchilada sauce is Mexican and lasagna is Italian, all the Italian foods are over here behind you -”

and this lady starts carrying on about how “Well, I don’t care what ethnicity it is!”

like, wtf?

Okay. So we’re all still trying to tell her what she’s looking for is just any kind of pasta sauce she wants to use on her lasagna, and she starts yelling, “NO! That’s for spaghetti, I don’t want that!”

“No, ma’am, it’s for whatever kind of pasta you want to use it on.”

Her reply? “Well, lasagna isn’t even pasta!”

What. I just . . . what.

(I actually went home and Googled “lasagna sauce” that night just to see if there really is something specifically called “lasagna sauce” and oh guess what there’s not.)

[luke-skypotter22]

Me: Do you need any help, sir?

Customer: Yes. I'm putting tile down and I don't know what I need.

Me: Sir, is there someone helping you with this project?

Customer: No, it's just me. Why?

Me: Sir, this is my professional opinion. You are going to want someone with you who knows what they are doing.

Customer: Are you sure? It doesn't look too difficult to me.

Me: Sir, trust me.

Customer: Okay. So what will I need?

[retailgirlcanteven]

"Can you hold my order here? I need to get money."

"I have a credit. I thought you were going to send it to me, but you didn't..." Customer continues (she speaks with a heavy accent - almost sounds Mediterranean), "...I spoke with one of you and you said the credit was in the computer. I thought you were going to send it to me, but you didn't..." Me: "You probably have a store credit, which will be logged under your customer account with the store. It's an electronic credit, so you can only use it here in store. It's not something we can send to you  like a check..." Customer: "Can you go check how much a credit I have? I think it a hundred dollars." Me: "Sure, I can check. I'll just need your name and-" Customer: "Do you have Full Seat?" Me: "Pardon?" Customer: "Full. Do you have Full Seats?" Me: "Aaare you looking for sheeting? Bedspreads? Comforters?" Customer: "No no no, Full Size Seats." Me: "I understand - you're looking for Full Size. What type of bedding are you looking for?" We've had people come into the store asking for couch and chair cushions/covers before, so I'm trying to make sure I'm interpreting her correctly. Customer: "I need the Full top seat and bottom seat." Me: "Okay - sheeting. Clearance sheeting is in the front corner," I motion towards where she'd find our sale sheeting. Customer: "Do you have anything that's on sale?" Me: "Yes, everything in the clearance section is on sale." Customer: "Can you help me? I can't find what I'm looking for." Considering all our sheeting shelves are marked clearly like FULL FLAT and FULL FITTED, I and I've seen this woman in our store before shopping, I determine that either she doesn't want to spend the time shopping herself (so she enlists a personal shopper to do the work for her) or that she's still having difficulty with the language (I'm guessing English is not her first language), so I walk over with her to clearance to help her put together a few sheet sets. Go figure that we had zero customers come into the store between 2:30 and 5pm, and then everybody seems to get out of work just as our two morning shift people leave the store and we only have two associates to manage the store for the remaining hour. Having four or five customers walk in at the same time may not seem overwhelming, but now I'm spending half an hour working solely with one customer while my coworker has to serve the other few people with their inquiries, sale transactions, and we can just forget about answering the phones which also hadn't been ringing all day until there were only two of us left. I get this woman with a comforter and a few sets of sheets (thinking that she's probably not going to buy half of it) up to the register, and I find her store credit for $100.96. With the items she decides to actually buy (discards a nightgown and two set of sheets from three I helped her pick out), she has a total of $250-something, deduct the store credit, and she has a difference of about $150 that she still owes us. She's rummaging through her purse while I'm standing there waiting for her payment when she says, "Oh - I need money. I don't have any money. I go just down the street. Can you hold my order right here? I need to go get money. What time do you close?" "We close at 6pm." "What time is it now?" "5:35pm." "Okay. I just go down the street. You hold these here?" and she just walks out the door. So, now I'm just standing at the register with this woman's order in mid-transaction having already applied her credit, and I can't back out of the order without entering in a tendered payment for the remaining balance. My coworker's like, "She's probably not coming back." "If she does, she'll show up just as we're closing." I start closing out the held order - punching in a false cash payment so I can go forward to the Check Out phase where I can then cancel the entire order. "I really hope that doesn't happen. She'll have us stuck here for an extra half hour." "My big question here: Who the hell goes shopping without bringing any money with them?" "Apparently that woman."

[luke-skypotter22]

Customer: It's eight feet wide exactly. I measured it with my shoes.

*I look down at the short man in front of me. Trying hard not to crack a smile.*

Me: Sir, what size shoe do you wear?

Customer: Size 10. Why?

Me: Sir, your shoe size isn't a foot. It's less than a foot. So your measurement is inaccurate. You're going to need use a tape measure to get an accurate measurement.

Customer: My foot is a foot. That's why they call it a foot.

Me: Sir, have you measured your foot with a tape measure?

Customer: No, I don't have to. I know it's a foot.

Me: Sir. I've got a tape measure. And I bet if I measure your shoe - it won't be 12 inches.

Customer: I know it's not 12 inches. It's a foot.

Me: I'm sorry, sir. I can't help you.