#cockshapedspaceships

[kidsisterextraordinaire]

//insert symbol for threatening message since it won't show on mobile-

[Text: ???] Okay, I don’t know who you are really, or what your deal is, but if running into you - either myself OR your former-coworkers -  is going to be a recurring thing, I’d advise you to reconsider.[Text: ???] Cause I’ll shoot your head off your shoulders. And I guarantee I can out-draw a desk jockey.

[n0va-c41ne]

“Will you please go home!”

“I’ll be going home soon. Also fuck off”

[n0va-c41ne]

Butt //Vasquez n o

Whoa hello! I thought I was clear that me wanting to fuck you was a lie for an eye

[smashxthexsystem]

cockshapedspaceships

It’s midday when she sees him, sun high and unforgiving in the sky, beating down upon what appears to be his corpse. Pulling over a few paces away from where he lies face down in the sand, Gaige inspects him from a distance, shotgun held by her hip, fingers just off the trigger.

It’s not that the sight in itself is unusual, the spiderants and bandit technicals racking up their fair share of deaths, but it’s not quite the same unlucky traveller she is used to seeing out here. For one thing, she’d been able to spot that Hyperion yellow from a mile off. Not many people around these parts were dumb enough to carry Hyperion weaponry, the mere association enough to get you mugged and killed on a good day. For another thing, there were no other bodies around. If this was indeed a Hyperion stooge of some sort, a convoy would have been expected.

Casting a glance back at the technical loaded with parts and tools, Gaige wonders if it’s worth the effort. It’s not that she’s running low on money these days, after all. Vault Hunting had pretty much set her up for life. Although investing in the repair shop had set her back a fair amount. It couldn’t hurt.

As she draws nearer, the pieces fall into place. Hollow indents in the sand, blood everywhere. Spiderants. Hungry spiderants by the look of it. The guy is missing most of his right arm just below the elbow. Whatever stringy bits of flesh are left are unsalvageable.

Turning him over onto his stomach with the butt of her gun, she jerks back a little when he releases a raspy breath.-

Whoa. Tough cookie for a Hyperion. Thought for sure you guys imploded on impact with Pandora, but guess not…

-She could just take his cash and gun and be done with it, but maybe… maybe if she kept him alive a little longer, she might be able to extort some information. After all, the Friendship Gulag was only a few miles away and she knew for a fact, having been there on… official business before that they stocked all sorts of parts and tools that would make her life a hell of alot easier. That and Hecker circuit reintegrators. Those were her favorites. And Deathtrap was in severe need of an upgrade at this point.

Four hours, a couple of pints of blood (that she kept around for personal reasons) and a hastily put together tourniquet later and the off-world stranger lay on a dingy mattress on her floor, still out cold but a lot less worse for wear at least. She’d give him another five minutes to come to on his own. After that, once those were up, a tiny love-tap to the temple with one her wrenches should do the trick.

[broughtinthemark]

Enhance my dick //i had to im sorry

“…”

“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I don’t think the technology exists to magnify something so small.”

[bowtothemechromancer]

“You are really warm..” //idk i couldnt find any other memes ;v;

".... You have five seconds to get off me before you get a face full of hammer, dick-wad."

[asirenofadifferentelement-blog]

"Mommy mommy!' A little girl of about 7-8 runs up before hopping onto her lap. "Daddy said there was a work dinner and that I can come!" She smiles cupping her mother's face in her small hands, little siren markings curled around her fingers and up her arm. "Daddy wants to impress his boss she he said I should dress in yellow! And you should do the same." She nods, smiling up at her, her eyes were brown and her hair was the same black as her fathers.

Maeve smiles, kissing the young one n the forehead softly. “Is that so?” She smiles, stroking your hair slowly. She hummed softly, Hyperion functions weren’t her favorite thing but it would happen if she wanted it or not. “I know just what we can wear princess.”

[broughtinthemark]

cockshapedspaceships:

"Okay, but tell me what it is first."

"This isn't a negotiation, asshole. I said put. It. Back."