authors note: hey all. this is kinda a short one. its also personal. ive been dealing with body issues for most of my life, i rarely ever really saw rep when it came to these issues in fanfic, so i decided to just write something out. ive always liked to imagine my fav characters comforting me when i have insecurities. so i hope anyone reading, this may help a little.
Summary: reader is insecure about her body, struggles with not gaining enough weight, being underweight and having small breasts. Price comforts her. No ED is mentioned.
The numbers on the scale didn’t budge. Not even by a fraction of a pound.
You stared at the display, willing it to change, but reality remained the same. A sharp sigh left your lips as frustration bubbled up inside you. It wasn’t fair. You had been eating more, training hard, following all the right steps, and yet, here you were—stuck.
You stepped off the scale and avoided looking at your reflection in the mirror. The familiar wave of disappointment settled over you, tightening around your chest like a vice. The rest of your day went downhill from there. Your workouts felt sluggish, work dragged on, and by the time you got home, exhaustion clung to you like a second skin.
The comforting scent of something warm and hearty filled your apartment the moment you stepped inside. Your brows furrowed slightly, surprise momentarily pulling you from your storming thoughts.
“Thought you’d be home earlier,” Price’s familiar voice rumbled from the kitchen. “Kept dinner warm for you.”
You set your bag down and walked toward the source of his voice. There he stood, clad in his usual civilian wear—soft, worn-in clothes that made him seem even more inviting than usual. The sight of him should have brought you comfort, but the weight of your emotions made it hard to appreciate the warmth in his expression.
“Hey,” you murmured, attempting to force a smile but failing miserably.
Price’s sharp gaze settled on you, immediately picking up on your demeanor. He stepped forward, closing the space between you as he reached out to cup your face gently. His thumbs brushed along your cheekbones, his touch grounding. “What’s wrong, love?”
You hesitated, unsure if you should even voice your frustration. It felt silly, insignificant compared to the things you’d endured in the past. But the way he looked at you, patient and unwavering, made it impossible to brush it off.
“I checked the scale today,” you admitted, voice barely above a whisper. “I haven’t gained anything. Not a single pound.”
Understanding flickered across his face. He didn’t rush to respond, didn’t dismiss your feelings. Instead, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close. You melted into his embrace, letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.
“You’ve been working so damn hard,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “That number doesn’t define you. It never has.”
You buried your face against his chest, inhaling the faint scent of his cologne mixed with the lingering smokiness from whatever he had been cooking. “I just… I feel like I should be further along by now. I’ve been trying so hard, but it feels like I’m stuck.”
Price pulled back slightly, just enough to tilt your chin up so you could meet his gaze. “Listen to me, sweetheart. Your body’s been through hell. It’s not a machine. Progress isn’t just numbers on a scale.” His hand ran up and down your back, soothing. “I see the way you push yourself, how determined you are. That means more than any number ever could.”
Tears burned at the corners of your eyes, but you fought them back. “I just wanted to see some kind of change.”
“You are changing.” His voice was firm yet gentle. “You’re getting stronger. Healthier. And I love you just the way you are.”
A shaky breath left you as his words settled deep into your chest. “You really don’t care?”
He let out a low chuckle and cupped your face again, his rough thumbs tracing along your jawline. “Not one damn bit. You’re perfect to me, love. Always have been.”
You swallowed hard, eyes dropping to the floor as another wave of doubt crashed over you. “I just… I never feel good enough. I look at myself and all I see is someone who’s too skinny. No curves, no shape… my boobs are small, my hips don’t fill out clothes the way they should. I don’t look like—” You cut yourself off, shaking your head, ashamed of voicing it out loud.
Price’s hands tightened around you, firm but reassuring. “Don’t do that,” he murmured, voice low and steady. “Don’t compare yourself to some made-up idea of what you think you should be. You are good enough. More than enough. You don’t need curves or anything else to be beautiful.”
He tipped your chin up again, forcing you to meet his gaze. His eyes were filled with something so raw, so undeniably sincere, that it made your throat tighten. “You’re strong, resilient, and the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Not because of some bullshit beauty standard, but because you’re you.”
A tear slipped down your cheek, and Price caught it with his thumb. “You mean it?” you whispered.
“Every word, love,” he assured you. “You don’t need to change a damn thing for me.”
Your heart clenched at the sincerity in his voice. Slowly, a small smile ghosted over your lips. “You always know what to say, don’t you?”
Price smirked, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead. “I’ve had a lot of practice.” He pulled you toward the couch, settling down and guiding you into his lap. His arms stayed securely around you, warmth radiating from his body. “Now, let’s sit here for a bit, yeah? Just us.”
You curled into him, letting the steady beat of his heart lull away the rest of your worries. He kissed the top of your head again, his fingers absentmindedly tracing soft patterns against your back.
“Love you, sweetheart,” he murmured against your hair.
A deep warmth spread through your chest, pushing away the weight of the day’s frustrations. “Love you too, John.”
And in that moment, with his arms wrapped around you and the quiet reassurance of his presence, you truly believed it.
the grip on his wrists tightened even with the smallest movement. a pained groan leaves simons throat when you apply more pressure to his lap, the tent in his cargo pants becoming more prominent.
you leaned in to him, chest to chest, lips attacking the bit of skin between his muscles shirt and the bottom of his balaclava. expertly finding his weak spot and grinding down on him.
“come on, simon,” your sultry voice sent shivers down his spine. “don’t you think this hard to get game is getting old?”
when you didn’t get a response, you pressed you hips down onto his length earning another groan from him.
fingers raked up his arms, leaving goosebumps in its trial, all the way to his neck. leaning back, you could see his blown out pupils. “c’mon si, do you really think you can keep this up?” you lightly squeezed his neck, watching the euphoria cloud his eyes.
letting go you hooked your fingers on his balaclava, bringing him out of his trance. “relax, trust me.”
your lips kisses his clothed lips before slowly pulling up the fabric of the infamous ghost mask up to his nose. his plump, slightly parted lips glistened in the dim lighting, inviting you to lean in.
his breathing was hard, and erratic. you could tell he was getting impatient, hands trying to untie the knots you’d done behind his back.
“untie me..” he choked out. you blinked, cupping his jaw. “aw, you know the rules. be a good boy, si.” you went in again, attacking his neck, jaw, and lips.
“you know what i want. give in, there’s just inches in between us, i want you to give in.”
and like a moth to a flame, he leaned in colliding your lips in a clash of teeth and flesh. a desperate and searing kiss. he pulled away for air, eyes foggy and tears pricking the outer corners.
“please..” his whine was all it took for you to reach behind and untie him, slotting your lips against him again, his free hands gripping your waist. “good boy.”
Pairing : Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader (AKA Mini MacTavish)
Summary: Winter moment with Riley family
Part of Memory in a Fragrance series
Part of Mini MacTavish series : post - And life goes on
Warning : T-M rating. Fluff.
A/N: This is for @okayyadriana , bit of Simon non Angst comfort for you :)
Series Masterlist
Masterlist
Winter is your favourite time of the year.
Season for snow, roaring fire, comfort food, hot chocolates.
Closing your eyes, inhaling. The charred smell from the burning wood, mixed with the distinctive weapon oil,gunpowder sandalwood and vanilla.
Smell of comfort, home, safety.
Smell of Simon Riley.
“Tired?” Simon whispered as he put his book down, caressing your hair lovingly.
“Just relaxing.” You smiled as you snuggled further into him.
“Ma, Da.” Your head turned slightly, hearing the slight clinking sound of tray and mugs being set down on the side table. “ Two hot chocolates with a dash of whisky as requested. And Oh.” Turning back to dash into the kitchen and returning with a metal box.”Some Kletzenbrot that Uncle König sent over.”
“You mean Alex sent it over.” Tiny chimed in.
“Haud yer wheesht TINY!!!” Aileen blushed and tried to shush her brother up from spilling out secrets.
It’s one of the rare occasions the whole family is home for winter breaks. You couldn’t even remember when was the last time the family of five gathered together for the winter festive season.
Usually Simon and Soap will be called away for special missions, or the twins and their cousin had to be on standby at the base, leaving you with little Kylie to spend Christmas with your sister in law and rest of the children.
“I thought I told you to stay away from that boy.” You feel your husband’s body tenses up, chest rumbling as he voices his disapproval.
“LOVE.” “DA!” You patted Simon's chest, trying to soothe him.
“I like Alex, he is nice to me.” Little Kylie pouted, Simon’s eyes softened as he looked down at his youngest daughter, sitting in front of the fireplace with her brother,concentrating on knitting a scarf with the knitting machine Gaz got for her as a birthday present. “Uncle König makes the best desserts.Can we invite their family over next time??”
You had to stifle a laugh when you heard Simon grumbling away, “We’ll see.” He just couldn’t say no to his daughters.
“Well Tiny,” Aileen, turning towards her brother. “Who was that person I saw you chatting away in the barrack last time? You seem to be pretty close to them, hm??”
Tiny glared at his sister, who seemed to be pleased with her revenge.
Your ear perked up, but the bickering of the twins together with their younger sister drowned any recognisable conversation. Guess the gossip about your son’s love life will have to wait for another day.
You feel Simon relaxed back into the couch, pulling you back into his lap as he picks his book back up again, resume reading with a slight smile on his face.
MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: Mention of PTSD, torture violence, swearing, Mature theme.
I apologise if any depictions of symptons and military procedures might be incorrect.
Thanks to @homicidal-slvt for planting ideas into my brain. this whole series is all for you :)
My usual thanking @saltofmercury, mother of Mini, for lending me the character :) Please go and check out her fics!
“masterlist” for Mini MacTavish expanded verse.
Your physical injury healed up in no time, but mental scars lingered.
First night back, he found you curled up in the corner of your room, sobbing away.
Second night, you woke up screaming, pleading the invisible enemy to stop the torture.
Third night, he woke up, finding you not in bed, but wandering around outside the building aimlessly, totally drenched with the heavy rain pouring down.
Night after night, Nikolai was there to soothe you, to reassure you. It breaks his heart to see how his little swallow has broken her wing, struggling to get back up.
At the end, they decided it was best for you to leave the team.
You panicked. You don’t want to be apart from your military family who has become such an integral part of your life.
“Staying here isn’t helping you with healing Mini.” Soap tries to reason with you.
“YOU GUYS ARE ABANDONING ME!” you screamed. “ You should have just left me there to die if this was the case!”
Soap took a step back. Hurt is clear on his face.
You stormed out of Price’s office, ignoring the calls and pleas from him and your teammates. Nikolai followed you back to the room. Calling out after you. Stopping just in front of the door, not daring to turn around to look at your husband,knowing you will start to break again if you face him. Clutching onto the dog tag and wedding band sitting underneath your shirt, you whispered a word of apology before shutting the door on him.
Deep down , you know very well in your state of mind, you need to step back. You know you needed help.
But the stubbornness inside of you refuses to acknowledge it. You were in a state of denial.
You closed yourself off in your room. Not even Nikolai’s begging and pleading could get you to open the door. You felt betrayed, Haven’t you done enough to prove yourself? What would you do after you leave? Going back to your parents? That will make you feel like an absolute failure. They weren’t happy when you told them the plan of following Soap into military life. They were hoping you would have stayed home and took over the family business. The headstrong impulsiveness of youth ignored their plea, with Laswell offered a chance to join the force, you grabbed the opportunity. You gritted your teeth and bare through all the challenges and ridicules from the non-believers, to reach what you have achieved today, seeing it all crumbling apart, you feel like everything you tried achieved up to this point is totally worthless.
At the end, it was Ghost that eventually got through to you.
“Let me go talk to her.”
He could hear you sobbing on the other side of the door. Knocking on the door few times, calling out to you, “Mini. It’s me. Come on.”
“Go away.”
Ghost looked at Nikolai, silently getting his permission, before using the spare key to open the door.
He slipped into the room through the slight gap of the door, before gently closing it. There you were,curling up in a ball on the floor, clearly exhausted from all the crying.
You felt a shadow and a body sat beside you. Opening your eyes, you were shocked Simon was sitting there, free of mask, looking down at you with a sad smile.
“Can I tell you my story?”
What seems like hours later, Ghost opens the door again, indicating to Nikolai that he can go in. Before Ghost left, Nikolai grasped his shoulder, muttering out his gratitude.
“I just want to help my precious sister get back onto her feet.” With that, he walked back towards the office area, where everyone awaited.
“Ненаглядная?”
You latched onto your husband as soon as you heard his voice, apologising again and again. Guilt is eating you up now, Nikolai has nothing but being patient and supportive, and yet you kept pushing him away.
“I don’t deserve you Nik.”
Holding you tight against him,while caressing your hair, “Nonsense.” Kissing you on the temple, “ You deserve everything in this world, my little bird.”
You started seeing the Military psychologist, agreeing at the end it would be the best if you step back from the front line until everything stabilises. You were relieved that you were given a lifeline, another chance.
“Going home?” Soap was surprised you actually brought it up yourself, he did initially think of sending you home back to your parents’ farm in Scotland for a while for you to get away from things that remind you of the terrible incident.
Nodding your head. “I think it would do me some good, the psychologist said so as well.” Stirring the cup of tea, “ They will refer me to a specialist I can see regularly for sessions while I am back up there. Besides, this might be a good time to tell mum and dad about Nikolai.” You sheepishly admitted.
Soap gave you side eyes, “ Yes, let’s talk about that.”he huffed, “I am not happy you kept us all in the dark for a long time.”
“Captain knew about it. Well, at least I THINK he knew about our relationship.”
“Nik really dropped the bombshell at a great time I tell you. “ Gaz barged into the conversation while reaching over your head to grab your famous chocolate biscuits from the table. Settling himself to sit on the other side of the table, munching on two biscuits at a time. “You two really kept us under the wraps for a long time.”
Pushing a piece of tissue underneath Gaz’s mouth for him to catch the crumps, “Well it was hard… he wouldn’t stop flirting with me while I try to keep a straight face about it.” Why are you talking about your love life in front of the boys? And when did Ghost appear and start listening in on the conversation? This man might be large, but he can really sneak around like a ninja.
“It’s hard not to get distracted when there’s a beautiful Goddess around you all the time.” You jumped slightly as you heard Nikolai’s voice appearing behind you. Groaning and covering your now burning face with embarrassment, you are pretty sure the chances of you dying from bursting your heart one day instead of being shot at by enemies if Nikolai compliments you with his flirtatious and flourishing words all the time. This man will really be the death of you literally one day.
“Take your lovey-dovey-ness somewhere else.” Soap grumbled.
“You are just jealous.” “Am not.”
“You are welcome to come back anytime when things settle Mini.” Price commented as he gave you a hug as you stood in front of the barrack, all packed and ready to leave. “I am sure Laswell and I can pull a few strings around when you are ready.”
“Thank you for everything Captain.I am sorry to cause such havoc.” You hugged back and apologised. Price had looked after you from the get go, treating you as an equal like any soldier, not caring about your background, also looking after you like his own. You really owe him a lot.
Turning towards his friend, Price shook his hand and gave him a good slap on the back, “Good luck on meeting the parents.”
“I am sure my Russian charm will win them over very quickly.” Nikolai laughed.You rolled your eyes, his optimism and ego never cease to amaze you.
Your parents certainly had the shock of their life when you came home, admitting to them about your ordeal, and introducing your new husband at the same time.
“I was hoping you would marry a good Scottish lad..” You heard your Da mumbled and your Ma kicked him on the shin. Nikolai took it all in a good stride.
Nikolai won your Ma’s heart quickly with his charisma and sweet words. Your Da was harder to convince. Until Nikolai brought out a few bottles of Scotch and Vodka.
“Where did you get these from????” Being the daughter of the owner of a distillery, you know a rare vintage when you see one.
“Soap and I found it last time we went… exploring.” Nikolai didn’t elaborate any further. You had a fair suspicion where it might be from, but you don’t want to know the details. The way your Da’s eyes glinted when he saw the bottles, your Ma reassures you as she pushes you out from the sitting room everything will be alright.
It was well past midnight when your husband crawled into bed with you.
“Mission successful?” You wiggle towards him, playing with his gold chain as he pulls you closer.
“He was harder to break through than Soap, but with a few drinks down, he was asking for a grandchild as soon as possible.”
“Oh hell. I knew this was going to happen. They had no success trying to hassle Johnny and now they are onto me…” you groaned.
You felt Nikolai’s chest vibrate as he chuckled. “You don’t want any?” his hand slides underneath your night shirt, running it up and down your back, sending shivers down your spine.
“Eventually?” Your priority now is trying to settle into new routines, get yourself better mentally, but having a family isn’t out of the question. You wouldn’t mind seeing a few little Nikolai running around, playing with their dad, uncles and aunty.
“Why don’t we get some practice sessions now? Mmm?” he whispers into your ear as he starts grinding his now semi-hard manhood against you.
This is going to be a long long night.
You are glad that your room is way on the other side of the estate. But you are not happy you had to walk, slightly limping the next day to the otherside of the house for breakfast.
