a/n: random assortment of hcs for the primis boys! slightly suggestive at times so proceed with caution. i left it kind of ambiguous as to whether this was canon au or modern au so have fun imagining whatever :33
primis richtofen:
♡ - he's the type to spend hours initially researching a very vague question he has and then it spirals into him researching something completely unrelated to said question. don't ask him how he got from reading about greek mythology to how bed bugs mate, he doesn't know.
♡ - (also don't ask him how bed bugs mate.)
♡ - for some strange reason, for as long as he could remember, he just gets the most random and inconvenient of nosebleeds. it has happened so often that he's grown to just be mildly annoyed by it at best and he usually has tissues on hand just in case. for him, this is entirely normal, but one time he got a nosebleed while he was talking to you and you freaked out and he had to reassure you he wasn't dying.
♡ - richtofen always wants to be the smartest guy in the room, but he kind of goes feral whenever you correct him. intelligence is already an extremely attractive trait to him, and passion compliments it greatly. the slight humiliation he feels for being wrong is quickly forgotten when he sees that fire in your eyes as you lecture him.
♡ - if you're not able to read or speak german, he is... not exactly going to teach you. what he is going to do, however, is randomly hand you a slip of paper with what seems to be utter gibberish scribbled on it, and he'll simply ask you to say the word with a completely serious expression. and then he is going to cackle like a witch when you say it wrong. he enjoys the little things.
primis dempsey:
♡ - he's really bothered by how much he can't remember about himself, so as a substitute, he tries to remember everything he can about you. it's incredibly sweet and thoughtful sometimes, but occasionally it creeps you out that he can recall some extremely niche and easily forgettable detail you revealed about yourself in passing several months ago.
♡ - throughout his life, he's had a habit of just... randomly falling off his bed in the middle of the night. he has no idea why it happens, he's just grown accustomed to waking up on the floor with his blankets trying their best to keep him tethered to the mattress. it truly is a sight to behold.
♡ - what dempsey lacks in book smarts, he makes up for in street smarts. he knows a bunch of strange life hacks, random bits of information about generally niche topics, weird remedies for certain illnesses, the works. (if any of you have seen breaking bad, he's kinda got jesse vibes in that regard LMAO)
♡ - he doesn't do it anymore, but during the earlier stages of your relationship, he really liked pushing your buttons. once, in the midst of an argument, you slapped him, and after the initial shock wore off, you frantically tried to apologize, only to be met with the marine giving you a lazy smirk. he wore the red handprint on his face like a badge of honor.
♡ - (you've asked him multiple times if he's a masochist or something and he never gives you a straight answer.)
primis nikolai:
♡ - that one guy that just always has random resources on him for virtually no discernable reason. you need batteries? he's already reaching into his pockets. you need a toothpick? it's your lucky day, he's got a pack of them right here. hell, you need matches? he's fishing an entire box out of his bag.
♡ - nikolai has a strange habit of taking in stray animals. he literally can't help it, he sees a cute, fuzzy little creature in need and he's dropping everything to assist the little guy. it's a little sweet watching him take care of animals like puppies or kittens, but he brought home a bear cub once and that's when it became a problem. you do kind of miss mishka though.
♡ - his upper body strength is INSANE. it's not news to anyone, not even you, but it was a little shocking when nikolai asked you to sit on his back while he was doing push-ups. and he did a good amount of them!! if he noticed your shocked expression when he was done, he didn't mention it, but he does subtly flex in front of you every once in a while. what? he's just proud of his physique.
♡ - it might just be because of where he grew up, but he's always checking if you're cold or not, especially during the night. the second you say yes, he's dropping everything to find you a better coat, or blanket, or he even gives you his gloves. he doesn't want you to be cold :( you're always welcome to leech off his body heat too.
primis takeo:
♡ - the proud owner of a very impressive and vast collection of bladed weapons. he prefers swords by a long shot, but even he can't turn away from a well-forged knife. it would probably be concerning if it was literally anyone else, but it's takeo so it's cool.
♡ - a relationship with takeo is an extremely slow burn, but once you've finally crossed that threshold, takeo is in it for life. he takes the term "ride or die" very seriously, and he's willing to do nearly anything for you. takeo would even kill for you if asked. anything to make you happy. anything to keep blood off your hands.
♡ - takeo is very graceful and collected in all aspects of life, except for the first few minutes after he wakes up. his brain tends to lag behind during those moments and sleep still has a tight hold on him, so it results in him looking completely and utterly bewildered as he takes in his surroundings. sometimes he mutters incomprehensible things in japanese during this, and it's hard to keep yourself from laughing. he's kind of embarrassed by it once he fully wakes up.
♡ - he will NEVER admit it, but he has entertained the thought of being a house husband before. what he found even more embarrassing, however, was that he realized he would be very good at it. he's a good cook, he's a god at keeping things neat and tidy, and he would enjoy having time to himself for a while. takeo will never bring this up, but if you do, he's down for it.
❝ Roped into a dimension full of utter chaos, time travel, and the undead, keeping your sanity intact while facing death and destruction around every corner proves itself not for the faint of heart.
What happens when love is thrown into the mix? Perhaps that's just a recipe for disaster... ❞
Hey, I know this is weird and out of the blue of me to say, and I don't want this to come off as guilttripping to anyone or forcing anyone to do anything, but I really wish there were more mlm/nblm cod zombies x reader stuff here.
Almost every codz x reader I've seen is for women, and as an achillean trans guy it feels.. a little lonely. I get that people may not know how to write that type of stuff and I'm not saying that women in the fandom don't deserve all that stuff at all.
But maybe a mlm/nblm one once in a while wouldn't be so bad, y'know? Like, even if it's just one. It'd be nice to see.
I know I could make some myself, but I'm not a pro in that sort of thing...
yeah cod zombies x reader is really fun until you have to become an amateur cryptologist and listen to hours of radios/audio reels from your cryptic ass boyfriend talking about some shit you don't understand and you can't just go and ask him about it because he has no clue what you're talking about either
