Thinking about Sam and Dean meeting up after 15x18 at the bunker.
Dean’s crying, gripping his shoulder, lost to shock. And when he finally calms down enough to tell Sam and Jack what happens, Sam is taken aback. Cas is family and their best friend, but after everyone they’ve lost, he’s never seen Dean this broken.
It was hurting Sam to look at him. To see his older brother, his anchor, breaking down and mourning, even going as far as to not change out of his bloody clothes before curling into his bed.
He didn’t get it at first. His mind was still buzzing with the anxiety, and coming to terms with the loss of the day as he tried to console a sobbing Jack.
Then, as he’s tucking Jack into bed that night, it hits him like a spray of cold water. A newfound clarity that framed the day’s event’s in a new light, one that made sense of Dean’s state.
Sam hadn’t recongised the look on Dean’s face because he’d been trying to hide the very reaction all day. From the minute he picked up Eileen’s phone to then, he was bottling up his heartache and the feeling of hopelessness that was consuming his will from the inside out.
Dean was a lover in mourning like himself. It didn’t come as a surprise, those two are clearly in love, but when did they work it out? Oh.
As the dots connected in his head, Sam felt a wave of sadness swallow him whole. Running a hand through his hair, he settled himself on the couch in Jack’s room for the night.
This can’t be the end, he thought. We’ll get them back. We’ll get them all back.
***
