StruggleCode 101: I’m Bad At Introductions
In the illustrious words of AUSTIN POWERS...“Allow myself to introduce...myself.”
I suppose I could tell “my story” but that could get a little wordy and if you have read any of my blogs, I tend to be on the wordy side.
I’m thinking bullet points with some explanations PRN.(pro re nata)
Let’s see I suppose I can skip to the important stuff like...
I was excited at my kindergarten graduation because of the ‘Precious Moments’ t-shirt I was given and it had “Class of ‘99″ written on it.
For the longest time (in elementary school) I thought I was going to be a gymnast, thanks to MARY LOU RETTON.
I hated my name because in the 80′s the only people named “JESSICA” were Jessica Tandy, Jessica Lange, & Baby Jessica (look her up).
Perhaps I should move things along.
In middle school I just knew I was going to be an OB/GYN and you could not tell me otherwise.
In high school I no longer wanted to be an OB/GYN because I realized it was more involved and delivering babies was only part of the job.
High school was a tough time for me. I had friends and a social life so that was the okay part. My grades were okay. The hard part was when my mother’s abuse went into over drive and in my sophomore year I was removed from my house because my mother tried to kill me. I was too scared to press charges against her, so the police did what I couldn’t do.
I found myself without much input from my mom when I did move back home so I took charge of the rest of my life and in the FALL of my junior year I enlisted in the UNITED STATES ARMY. I had done so well in my JROTC classes (I put in 4 years) I went in as an E-3 and my MOS (military occupational skill) was a COMBAT MEDIC.
Gonna speed up some more.
I ended up getting pregnant at the ripe ol’ age of 19 and I gave birth at the age of 20.
I moved from CALIFORNIA to GEORGIA in my tiny Coral colored Dodge Neon.
I didn’t know I was pregnant when I made the choice to move. For future reference there are only 1,875 days from my 1st child to my last child. At one point in my life I had 4 children under the age 6.
Jobs I had in Georgia before landing in tech:
Selling perfume on the street
Selling Furniture & Mattresses
Red Cross Blood Donation Appointment Setter
Bartender/Lead Mixologist/Bar Manager/Brand Ambassador/Brand Strategist
Software Engineer/Full Stack Dev (currently unemployed)
In all of this time I have been...
In 2 long term relationships...well 3.
On a quest to be comfortable with me being Bi-Sexual
Getting along better with my mother.
Working on my relationship with my father who was homeless and lived in a PORT ‘O POTTY for years after he helped me move from California, which was only a month after he lost the only man he knew as his father. (there’s really so much to unpack there but I won’t.) He ended up hitchhiking from the MOJAVE DESERT to SAN FRANCISCO, got help and has had a roof over his head for the past 3+ years. Incidentally my father also called me one day an told me I had another sister. I thought she was going to be a toddler...she was actually 24!
Able to purchase a mini van for $2500 after not having a car for 1091 days. Can you imagine that? With 4 kids...sheesh!
Fortunate to get a NEWER car like a 2013 SUV when the mini van died. It wasn’t without incident either. It was the 1st week of the new school year and also the week that I was to give my daughter her SWEET 16.
To move my family out of the apartment complex where we had lived for the better part of a decade and into a house.
To see my oldest daughter graduated from High School
On the receiving end of my oldest son’s diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease. At the time he had lost so much weight. He was 16 years old and weighed 65 pounds. That was with me feeding him every 2 hours. I did my research and took him to the hospital with MY DIAGNOSIS. I knew it was one of two things he either had stomach cancer (for which I was preparing myself for his death) OR it was Crohn’s. His doctor looked at me with such profound confusion but ultimately thanked me for being so dedicated to his well being. She also told me that she had not seen such a severe case before and said that the measures I took prior to bringing him in were incredible. I am proud to say that he is over 120 pounds and is doing much better.
It’s crazy to see snippets of my life written out.
I know that life throws so many curve balls and please understand I did not handle a lot of this with grace.
Deep depressions and life ending thoughts consumed me.
It was only my kids that kept me from doing the absolute worst.
They are the reason why I am alive today.
I don’t share my story to create some kind of “success story”.
I share it because most people will not share their truth for fear of shame.
If you learn NOTHING else from reading my “series of unfortunate events”...
Life is scary and you have to FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANY WAY!
My life is far from perfect BUT my life is so real...no “air-brush”... no “retouches”...no “edits”.
It’s beautifully messy and that is just the way it should be.
