guy who can't drink coffee past 10am or else he will suffer the grave consequences: "hm yeah i think i'm gonna get this nice Caffeinated Beverage with my lunch. #yum."

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guy who can't drink coffee past 10am or else he will suffer the grave consequences: "hm yeah i think i'm gonna get this nice Caffeinated Beverage with my lunch. #yum."
"you'll understand when you're older"
I DO?? I DO UNDERSTAND??
Why are tongues always battling for dominance? I have to say, I’ve kissed a LOT of people in my life and I can’t remember ever trying to duel with someone’s tongue. Look, I’m more than willing to admit that it’s possible that I’ve been doing it wrong all this time (though I’ve never had a complaint, just sayin’), but I’m going to need some answers because, frankly, I’m perplexed.