It all comes down to my toothbrush
I can always tell how my morning is gonna go based on the brushing of my teeth.
If I gag = rinse, splash brow and try again. (Hardly anything makes me gag so this is gernerally a bad sign.)
If I drool 90% of the toothpaste down my chin or hand while brushing = CODE GREEN. Be on guard.
If the glob of toothpaste falls off the toothbrush wihout making it to my mouth = CODE YELLOW. Uh oh.
If the glob falls off the toothbrush and lands on my tits = CODE ORANGE. Oh Fuck.
If the glob falls off the toothbrush and I can’t find it = CODE OH SHIT. Consider calling for backup or Go back to bed. Do not even attempt to operate the toilet.
Today was a combo of yellow and green. I’m not sure what this means but I’m going to put and extra scoop of coffee in the French press, just to be safe.
