Spent a lot of time in the 'behavioral health' system as a kid in which everyone told me constantly that I had poor self talk. And they were right, but, geez! Does anyone wanna make an anxiety diagnosis while you're at it???? Or should I just add that to the list of things I'm bad at?
Anyway, that's a big frustration I have with some of the conversations that come up in "social emotional learning" and "teaching growth mindset" spaces. Excellent, crucial goals. Often questionable means. You can't just...tell someone to have a growth mindset. (Nor can you PUNISH them into it!!) There has to be a lot of individualized emotional and logistical support and a genuine relationship/rapport. Kids don't need more expectations they're struggling to meet. They need adults to meet them where they are and partner with them in reaching the next step. And it can be hard to do, as an adult. Extremely hard. I imagine all of us sometimes fall short of meeting that need. But those of us who believe in the importance of self-regulation and growth mindset and have chosen to be in kid-facing roles need to at least be holding ourselves to that standard, even if we can't rise to it 100% of the time.
(If you've vibed with this so far and want resources, check out Ross Greene, Mona Delahooke, and/or Alfie Kohn. Especially Ross Greene if you're looking for specific recommendations. The B Team on Facebook is also a great resource for implementing Ross Greene's Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Framework.)
