Could I request Jongin with College!au, Making out, "take off your shirt"?
College!Jongin x College!Reader
The stars shine above you, twinkling brightly as the messy sounds of two college kids making out fill the night air. A soft groan passes through his nose as you gently bite on the lower cushion and his grip on your waist tightens; you know every little thing that turns him on, from the gentle nipping to the way you whisper sweet, dirty things in his ear, you have him turn to putty in your hands so easily.
He adjusts his position, the small space of the car making it difficult for him to move around in and grunts when he realises just how confined the car is - even with the seats all down. You don’t care though, focused on the way his lips feel against yours and keeping his body as close as possible as you tangle your fingers into his hair and kiss those lips that have tortured you during every single study session.
Jongin has been slacking in his economics class and his dance teacher informed him that if he couldn’t keep up his grades to a passing point in all classes then he wouldn’t be able to participate in the final showcase at the end of the year. You were dragged in by your brother - Jongin’s best friend - and at first, there was nothing between the two of you until recently.
He had passed his midterms and he knew it was all thanks to you, so he offered to take you out for dinner - as a way of thanks. All those hours you poured in to explaining things in terms that he could understand, all those hours you spent making practice tests and flash cards for him to use, and all that time spent dragging him from the practice room to study because he could get lost in his choreography for hours. He wanted to repay you for it all but he didn’t realise that such a small act would create such intense feelings.
You looked so beautiful when you arrived to the venue, he had always known you were really pretty but there was something about how you looked when walking into the restaurant, cheeks tinged slightly pink seemed to make his heart race when he saw you. “Take off your shirt,” you mumble against his lips, fingers tugging at the mauve dress shirt he wears. “Please.”
It’s an awkward movement but Jongin manages to pull the shirt over his head with your help and you marvel at the glimpse of his body that you are given in such a small space. “Next time,” he captures your lips once more, gaining confidence in exploring the skin under your dress, “we are doing this right.”
“You’re saying this is wrong?” You tease, kissing his neck before nipping his earlobe. He freezes for a moment, not realising immediately that you’re joking before you giggle, pulling away to look at him. “I’m teasing, Jongin, calm down.” You kiss him again before looking around you. “Though, next time, I’d like a bed rather than the uncomfortable backseat of your car.”
He nods, agreeing because he’s restricted in his movements here. “We could- we could pause until we get back to my place...” You can’t help but giggle at how shy he seems. Jongin, the golden boy of the dance department, worried that you wouldn’t want to sleep with him if you stopped now.
“Well then,” you wink before running your fingers through his hair, “what are we waiting for?”
(noun) an idea that dominates one’s mind especially for a prolonged period.
genre: College lover AU! smut ++ a little fluff
pairing: college students OG character Hailey x Kai
summary: just a regular night in college, except he had an idea. an idea that was rather different and gave both of them a break from coursework
warning: smut
word count: 2.9k
song: electric love - alina baraz feat. khalid
a/n: my imbecile ass deleted the original post thinking it was a repost so here it is once again.
based on this moodboard made by yours truly
one-shot continues under the cut!
hailey props her head on her hand, leaning to the side to see what jongin is doing.
on the wooden desk beside hers, his head has fallen into the crook of his arms, fast asleep. his soft snores drift out his pink lips, a look of serenity and peace. the only problem is, his three paged essay is due tomorrow.
hailey looks at the clock. it’s half-past midnight.
“jongin,” she reaches over to shake him lightly by the shoulders. “you have to wake up.”
“hm?” he hums with only one eye open.
“we’ve got work to do,” she murmurs quietly, her voice echoing off the vast hall of the library.
they’ve been here since eight and she’s finished up majority of her homework. jongin, on the other hand, has another page of his thesis essay to go. she pushes his ashy brown hair away from his eyes.
“c’mon,” she looks at him adoringly. he’s adorable, especially at this time of the night. “there’s only a page left.”
he groans, like a child. “but i really don’t want to.”
“i think you have to,” the tiny giggle that escapes hailey’s lips causes a smile to stretch on jongin’s lips upon hearing his lover’s laugh.
“okay, fine.” he sits up, swiping his finger on his laptop to wake it from its prolonged sleep.
“i’m almost done,” hailey probes him. “let’s see who finishes first.”
“and if i do?” jongin eyes her sideways.
“you’ll be showered in my love,” she mumbles sarcastically and picks up her pencil to continue making annotations in the piece of literature she was given to read.
“in what way?”
hailey can just hear the smirk in his voice without even having to look at him.
“jongin, there are people listening.”
“says who?” the chair creaks as he turns around to get a three-sixty view of the library.
she sighs and taps her pencil against her temple, completely ignoring him.
throughout the next hour, jongin tries his best to get her attention—by tapping her foot with his, by twirling his finger on the loose strands that frame her face—all while working on his own essay. for someone who had just woken up from a thirty-minute nap, he is crazy energetic.
with earphones plugged into her own ears, hailey tries her best to focus. aside from having to occasionally push jongin’s hand away from her face and kicking his feet to the side, she finds herself surprised at how focused she really can be—even with an annoying boyfriend.
“hailey,” he whines, so loud it leaks through her earphones. “are you done yet?”
she removes one side of her earphones, eyes glancing at the ash-brown haired boy who’s lips puckered up into a pout. he’s awfully childish tonight and hailey has no idea why.
“i am,” she closes her book and takes out the other side of her earphones so that the only sounds filling her ears are jongin’s voice and the hum of the tungsten lights above.
“oh thank god,” jongin shuts his laptop and gives her the brightest grin. “we can go home now.”
“of course we can,” hailey quickly tucks all her materials into her bag. she has to grunt when she lifts the bag onto her shoulder due to all the weight from the textbooks.
“here,” jongin wraps his fingers around the strap of her bag, immediately taking it from her. “i’ll help you.”
“thank you,” she breathes.
“those washboard abs don’t come from nothing,” he winks then winces immediately after realising what he said. “i sound like an asshole, don’t i?”
she laughs a laugh so loud it bounces off the walls of the empty library. “you did,” she kisses his cheek. “but everyone knows you’re anything but an asshole.”
“thanks, baby,” he slings his arm over her shoulders.
“you’re welcome.”
together, they hurry to the parking lot where his car was parked. rather than studying in their dorms, they always preferred studying in the library located in the city. to do that, they always have to take fifteen minute drives.
jongin keeps one hand on the steering wheel, one hand on her lap. her eyes are fixed on the outside, at the darkened scenery while she fiddles with his fingers between her hands.
“i don’t feel like sleeping,” jongin says amidst the comfortable silence that lingers between them.
“neither do i,” she redirects her gaze to him, eyes catching the way he seems to glow at night. his brown eyes are focused on the road, his lips turned up into a small smile.
“i’ve got an idée fixe,” he gushes.
“you do?” she raises her eyebrows, her own lips twitching into a smile.
he nods. “but i won’t tell you just yet.”
“you better tell me when we get back,” she warns him teasingly.
a chuckle left his mouth, adam’s apple bobbing as he’s swallows. it’s probably something risky.
“i think it’s something we’ll both like,” he says quietly.
“at this point,” she sighs heavily. “we like anything that isn’t college coursework.”
at this jongin laughs aloud. his laugh always sounds unexpectedly high-pitched, especially for a man who looks like this. people are constantly caught off-guard by it. “okay.”
they make it to the his dorm smoothly without bumping into any drunk students. hailey is in his dorm so much it’s practically hers now.
they enter jongin’s front door with ease, all with a quietness hailey found strange. they’ve been together for so long it’s so easy for her to sense if something is off.
“hey,” she says and turns to face him, who has his back towards her. he tosses the car keys onto his desk. it lands with a loud clatter. “is everything okay?”
“why wouldn’t it be?” he asks, turning his head so his eyes meets hers.
“i don’t know, it just seems like—“
she’s cut off by his lips on hers, forcing her to drop all the bags she’s carrying. his lips moulds into hers perfectly, like each and every time he kissed her for the past three years. his hands cup her jaw to pull her even closer.
“jongin,” she breathes against his lips.
“that’s my idée fixe.”
“to kiss me?” she laughs.
“and to do much more than that,” he says, hands running down to her waist. he angles his head down and attaches his lips to her neck.
a small sound escapes her lips when he reaches the spot behind her ears, knowing very well it’s the most sensitive place to go when he’s kissing her neck.
in this moment of time, hailey thanked the gods above that he doesn’t have a roommate. meanwhile, loud music from the room next door resonates through the paper thin walls. this music was slow and sensual, as if everything is planned.
“i love this song,” hailey suddenly says, immediately recognising the low vocals. the weeknd was playing, and the timing can’t be any more perfect. the slow thrum of the beat builds up a fire in her, builds up a need to make herself and her lover feel good.
he hums against her skin, hands reaching for the waistband of her leggings.
she clutches his hands abruptly, stopping him. he breaks away and looks at her, lips parted in surprise.
“wait,” she says softly, close to a whisper.
the next thing jongin knows is that he’s being pushed back by the girl he adores, back onto the armchair located in the corner of his dorm. she looks at him with a dangerous gaze. he can feel himself go hard in the sweats he’s clad in upon thinking about the things she’d do to him.
“sit,” she instructs. captivated by her brown irises, he does exactly as she says.
hailey lets her hair down from her messy bun, hips swaying to the music in the process. leaning down with both hands clutching the arm rests, she whispers,
“so tell me, jongin, what exactly is your idée fixe?”
he shudders under her touch. “i want to make you come—” he reaches forward to hold hailey by the hips, bringing her down onto his lap. “—more than once.”
she obliges and circles her arms around his neck. his grip on her isn’t rough, but it’s definitely firm.
firm enough to let hailey know just how much he wants her.
she straddles his lap, knees resting on each side of his hips. his eyes seem to sparkle as he looks at the view above him. her dark hair, already a hot mess, drapes down her shoulder brushes against his chin when she settles on top of him.
he pulls her further down onto him, until her crotch is positioned against his groin. his hard-on presses against her sensitive core through the thin material of her leggings and underwear.
she curses in his ear and he grunts, tugging her down even harder.
“jongin,” she moans as he begins to guide her hips to move back and forth against himself with large hands gripping her hips.
his fingers press so hard it began bruise hailey’s skin. she doesn’t mind, though. she is jongin’s and he is hers. at this point in time, they belong to each other.
hailey throws her head back as she develops a rhythm, eyes rolling back from ecstasy from the feeling of her clit against his erection.
jongin stops her movements with his hands, making her eyes snap open in shock that the feeling of pleasure under her is gone.
“baby, ride my thigh.” he whispers into her ear. “i’ll come in my pants if you keep this up.”
she nods subtly. with the help of his muscular arms, she manages to shift onto his thigh. he thought that moving her position might help to keep his arousal at bay, but feeling the fabric of his pants already drenched by what’s between her legs, he thought wrong.
oh, so very wrong.
she rocks herself on his thigh, pleasuring herself and herself only. jongin doesn’t care if it isn’t reciprocated. he stares at her with a smirk on his face and feels her heat rubbing against his thigh. he’s doing all this while trying to hide his magnified desire for her.
he scoots forward until his chest is pressing against hers. they’re still clothed, and to him, it’s a problem. jongin removes his shirt with one swift movement, the piece of useless fabric tossed to the ground.
through her half-lidded gaze, the sight of jongin’s carved out abs, of his sexy smirk, made her mouth water and push her closer to the edge of a climax. her lips are caught between her teeth a she keeps her arms wrapped around his neck, both their faces only an inch apart.
“are you close?” jongin breathes into her ear when he detects her movements on his thigh speeding up and his sweatpants soaked.
“yes—” hailey drawls on as she reaches her high, tilting her head back. he kisses the exposed base of her neck as she rides out her climax on his thigh. she rests her head on the bare crook of his shoulder, chest heaving from the drain of energy while she remains on his lap.
he’s still hard as granite under her, but he’s not telling her that.
she notices it, though.
“jongin,” she rasps. “i need you.”
“hailey,” he tucks a few strands of hair behind her ear. despite all the sexual tension, jongin always finds a way to give her all his affection. it’s so clear he mom knows not only just how to fuck, but also how to treat a woman. “are you sure?”
she nods. he lets out a small laugh, secures his arms around her and lifts her up as he stands. he brings her to the bed right next to the chair, laying her down on her back.
“now,” he says, hooking his fingers into the waistband of both her underwear and her leggings. “can i take this off?”
“please,” she arches against the bed when he rids her of her bottom-half clothing. after that’s gone, hailey sits up, lifts her (his) shirt over her head and toss that to the ground.
“no bra?” jongin crawls into between her legs, nudging them open with his knees.
she smiles. “only for you.”
“i never noticed,” he shakes his head, a smile on his face.
“i don’t think you’re supposed to,” she props herself up on her elbows, watching him slip his hands in his pocket to get out a square foil package. “you brought that to the library?”
“i told you,” he slides his sweats along with his boxers down. his length springs out and slaps against his abs. “i had an idée fixe.”
“to make me come more than once,” just by saying the words, she feels her core reignite.
“actually,” he mumbles. “i wanted you to ride my thigh.”
she raises her eyebrow, one corner of her lip turned up. “is that so?”
he nods solemnly, eyes fixed on her the entire time as he expertly rolls the condom on his length. the sound of latex unrolling fills the room, along with her heavy pants combined with his low grunts.,
“well,” she mumbles quietly. “you gotta do more than that.”
“i know baby,” he lowers himself down on her in between her legs, length brushing her clit. “i know.”
“jongin,” she moans. “i need you.”
“fuck,” he mutters. “you are dripping.”
“only for you,” she repeats with a smirk.
“only for me?” he drags a finger across her slits, teasing her to the end of the world.
“yes,” she says, almost pleading.
“tell me how much you want me,” his breath brushes down her neck.
“i—i want to ride you,” hailey suddenly sits up and pushes jongin back so that his back is against the headboard.
he grips his cock and begins jerking himself off as she crawls towards him. the vulgar moans that leave his lips are really something else, out of this world. she grips the headboard before climbing across his lap, thighs settling on each side of his hips.
jongin’s moment of masterbation stops when hailey grips his hand that is around himself. and then she whispers. “fuck me as hard as you can, jongin.”
she knows jongin would snap at the fact that she swore in his ear. jongin loves it when she whispers profanity into his ear because she never does it outside of the bedroom.
and he did. he grips her hips roughly and sunk her down onto his cock. he moans at how easy it is to slip into her slick folds. jongin takes a moment for her tight walls adjust around him, earning a loud whimper from her.
“fuck,” jongin grits his teeth together. pleasure travels throughout his body in waves.
she begins rolling her hips against his, chest flush on him. his lips are parted while quite gasps and pants slip out of them as he sinks into her to the hilt. both of their moans clash against each other, pleasure finally reciprocating.
a rhythm is quick to develop, especially with a man like jongin. he’s a dancer and smooth rhythms come naturally to him. his abs presses against her when he captures her in a kiss, hands on her jaw as he rocks himself into her.
his huge length in her is so euphoric, so perfect. she throws her head back with her hands still holding onto the headboard, like she’ll fall apart if she lets go. aside from her grip, jongin’s arms are wrapped securely around her waist when he begins a more punishing rhythm, finding himself too needy and frantic to go slow on her.
“shit, jongin,” she moans, hand reaching down to find her clit.
“no,” he objects and releases an arm from around her to grip her hand. “don’t.”
he flips the both of them over, until he’s lying in between her legs, cock still in her. “i want you come by me, and me only.”
she moans at his tone, hips bucking and already feeling pressure at her lower abdomen. not yet, she tells herself. or rather, her body. she throws her arms around his neck to tug him even closer to her.
“fuck,” he manages to sheath himself even deeper, brushing a spot that made hailey see stars. his head rests beside her head, forearms braced beside her face.
jongin grunts and pants are silenced when hailey pulls him to her and presses her lips against his, drowning out all that comes out of the filthy mouth of his. it doesn’t take a long time for her spine to grow more and more intense as he continues rocking into her.
“i’m going to come,” she grinds out quietly into his ear, fingers digging into his back even harder wit each snap of his hips.
“come for me, baby.” his proceeds with a faster pace, feeling his own release about to strike him.
with one last thrust, her vision blurs as all she sees is white, pleasure shooting up her spine. he grits his teeth and throws his head back as he follows suit, jongin moans against her, trembling. he collapses gently against her body, trembling and sweating. he falls to the side, facing her.
“we need to to this more,” he slings an arm around her waist, a smile playing at his lips.
“come up with more idée fixes then,” hailey turns to look at him.
➳ published: 13.11.17 || finished: 02.02.18
➳ college!au || fuckboy!au || series w alternate ending || genre: fluff || angst || smut || rated: m
➳ pairing: park chanyeol x reader x kim jongin
➳ summary: Addiction. It’s something that you can’t completely get rid of, it’s an every day battle. As someone with an addictive personality, you find that you are easily addicted to things that are harmful to you but they give you a rush unlike any other. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. Pleasure and Pain. You manage to come clean and learn healthy ways to cope through music; dancing and singing soon become your addiction - until you find yourself hooked on two boys who are also addicted to you.
➳ warnings: MAY CONTAIN TRIGGERS: Mentions of self-harm. Mentions of alcohol, drug and sex addictions. Violence. Rough sex. Swearing
➳ published: 07.07.20
➳ college!au || fuckboy!au || genre: angst || rated: m
➳ pairing: kim jongin x linda
➳ summary: Jongin has a reputation, one that comes with warnings but he has the charm to make anyone forget the reason why they call him The Heartbreak Kid. Linda learns the hard way, even if she doesn’t learn the first time.
➳ word count: 2.4k
➳ warnings: mentions of an accident
➳ author’s note: Linda is a blank slate, she can look like you if that helps, it was just easier for me to write it this way. Remember that if a guy treats you like this then kick his ass because you deserve better!
song recommendation: break my heart - dua lipa
Any feedback is welcome <3
It was a mistake the first time, an accident waiting to happen because she was drunk and he was cute and maybe she felt a little insecure because it had been a while since a guy had shown interest in her but the attention felt nice. They messed around, sneaking kisses in hallways and even, because of a dare, made out in front of the crowd. It was fun, freeing and exhilarating because there were no judgements; he saw her as a conquest, a bet placed before she got there, but she saw him as a fun night.
That’s all it was meant to be when she took him back to her place, lips mashed together and hands basically ripping the clothes off each other. It was meant to be one night, a fun one-night stand with a handsome and funny stranger, nothing more, nothing less.
Until the next time happened.
And the next.
Before she knew it, she liked him more than she cared to admit. She wouldn’t have called it anything deeper than an attraction but he always somehow made her feel good. That was until a pattern started to be displayed and alarms started blaring in her head. He would always have to initiate the first move; this was always whenever alcohol was involved and things had to be kept quiet.
She didn’t exactly want anything deep but she did know she deserved better than this.
And that’s when he cut her off.
She was confused, hurt and felt like an idiot. She thought things were okay, thought they had fun and enjoyed each other’s company until she realised the truth - she was nothing more than the flavour of the month.
So, she cut herself off. Built the walls up around her heart and began to understand why he had gained such a nickname throughout the campus grapevine. He had the charm, the dimples and the smile, he knew the right words to say and how to make you feel like his world was about you. They called him The Heartbreak Kid, she never quite understood why when she was first warned about him but like every foolish heart before her, she thought that she might be the one to tame such a man.
If only she had listened to the warnings.
Life moved on, as it always does. Linda finished college and began working full time as a teacher, helping mould the minds of the future generation, she hadn’t dated or given anyone the chance to grow close since which only caused her friends to give her sympathy and pity which she didn’t want. Life had also thrown her a curveball shortly after graduation, an accident had caused her sister and her husband to pass away, leaving their three-year-old in her care.
Linda adapted, managed her life around what was left for her and Addy, and began to raise her niece like her own child. She often jokes about how it was fate that caused her to be a teacher because she needed at least some of that knowledge when it came to kids - but Addy added a little sparkle to her life that she never knew she was missing.
She never gave him another thought, not after that night, because the words he spat in her direction only caused confusion to cloud her mind and anger to boil in her stomach. He treated her like she was disposable, like he could do anything he wanted and if she’s honest, he destroyed her and made her into something unrecognizable. He was true to his name, The Heartbreak Kid, and she was one of his victims.
Soon to be his biggest downfall.
The bath has been something she’s looked forward to, the indicator that the week is done and she can rest. Linda sighs as the warmth seeps into her bones and she relaxes into the tub; no housework, no child to tend to for the weekend, just her and Netflix being able to pretend for a moment that life isn’t super busy 5 days out of the week. She closes her eyes and listens to the sound of silence with a gentle smile on her face.
A soft vibration from the counter beside the tub interrupts her peaceful serenity and she sighs before reaching for her phone. She relaxes a little when she realises that it has nothing to do with her niece but then raises an eyebrow at the name that is in her notifications.
New Message from Kim Kai
Well, that can only mean trouble but strangely instead of being disgusted, she is kind of intrigued. Jongin was fun, even if he was an asshole towards the end, she thought that maybe life had taught him a lesson or two and that they could talk like grown-ups - even if she knows that what he had in mind was something completely different.
Past Linda would slap her for this, knowing that this guy is just bad news but Linda is stronger than that now. She isn’t going to allow some fuckboy to mess with her and besides - he was fun and she needs a bit of a release.
Getting ready, she didn’t put much effort into how she looked, she knew that it’s not like they would be talking and she would be out of her pyjamas quickly so what she is wearing doesn’t make any difference. She laughs when he sends another message telling her that he’s ready and waiting, causing her to take her time, making him wait is part of the fun. It doesn’t take her too long to get to him, he’s standing outside in the cold night air and she shakes her head and laughs when he gets in the car, a smile wide on his lips and practically looking like a puppy wagging his tail. He leans over and kisses her cheek, asking her how she is and she’s glad that it’s dark, the darkness hiding the warmth that’s flushing her cheeks as she drives off, back to her place.
“So, what have you been doing?” He sips his beer that he brought with him and she shakes her head, chuckling. “What?”
“I assumed that when you messaged that there was alcohol involved.”
Jongin gasps, looking slightly offended. “What, I can’t just message you?”
“You can, but it’s been a year and you haven’t. But, it’s not like I was wrong, you smell like a brewery.” They laugh and exchange some ideal chit chat before Jongin turns it onto a serious note.
“I’m sorry for the way I treated you back then, it was a pretty asshole thing to do.”
“Well…”
Jongin cuts her off. “No, it wasn’t okay that I did that to you. I’m sorry.”
Her heart warms a little, hearing the sincerity in his apology and she nods, not letting him off the hook that easy. “Yeah, it was a pretty asshole thing to do but hey, it’s in the past. It’s not like I cried over it or anything. It happens.” He looks at her, watching her and she starts to blush deeper from the intensity of his stare. It’s been so long since she’s looked into his eyes, those eyes that almost tell you everything he’s thinking and instead of giving into his charms, she clicks her tongue. “Stop staring, it’s weird.”
“Have you been dating anyone?” Jongin asks out of nowhere, taking off his cap and ruffling his hair slightly before putting it back on.
Linda shrugs, not wanting to tell him that she hasn’t been able to get close to anyone out of fear of falling for another mistake. “I guess. It’s been a while but I was seeing someone a while back. He was a really nice guy but the distance was too much.” Out of nowhere, Jongin hums like he’s paying complete attention but grabs her hand and intertwines their fingers, holding her hand and sighing in relief. “Aww, are you getting a little jealous?” She laughs at him.
Jongin shrugs, looking out the window for a moment. “Maybe, what if I am?”
She quickly changes the subject, opting to talk about anything that can avoid moving into a deeper conversation and Jongin follows suit. Things begin to feel natural, easy; they are laughing and teasing each other while Jongin tightly holds her hand all the way until she parks - then, he makes the move he’s been waiting for.
It takes her by surprise how quick he is, barely making it into the house before he presses her against the wall and kisses her like his life depends on it. Clothes are quick to fall to the floor, her back hitting the mattress as they switch position, lips claiming every inch of skin as she nibbles on his neck in the spot she knows he loves and he’s quick to travel his hand down her body towards the treasure he’s been waiting for.
This was how it was always going to go; Linda knew that the moment she opened his message but what she wasn’t prepared for was what came after. She has kept these walls up for so long, she knew that they were never coming down anytime soon but as she lay in Jongin’s arms, staring into his eyes as he randomly steals kisses and makes her giggle - she almost believes that they could.
“You know, you’re really cute.” He beams at the praise, giggling as she traces her fingers down his neck, admiring the fresh marks she left there. “Also, why are you so cuddly?”
He continues to steal kisses from her, placing them everywhere he can reach while playing with her hair. “I just really like to cuddle, plus you enjoy it?” She shrugs nonchalantly and he scoffs, rolling his eyes at her with a smile. “Hey, because I’m cute and you’re beautiful, why don’t we…”
The meaning behind his words hangs in the air and Linda sits up quickly, looking down at him in confusion while he just lays there, looking innocent. “Did you just ask me out? You’re not serious, right?”
“If I did, you’d say yes, wouldn’t you?” He wriggles his brows and she knows she’s falling for a trap.
“To spare your feelings right now, I withhold from answering that question.” He’s a little taken aback by her comment but instead of letting her see it, he grabs her and rolls on top of her, beginning round two and hopefully erasing this from her mind.
A few days passed and Linda couldn’t help but be distracted by something that happened. Jongin had called her at 3am, drunk, of course, but he didn’t want anything more than to sleep and cuddle. She had turned him down but the thought doesn’t seem to want to leave her mind and she slaps herself mentally for even entertaining such a thought.
Jongin hasn’t changed, she knows that but with what he was saying and the behaviour that he is showing - it seems that there is some kind of interest there.
So, she tests it out.
Do his words hurt? Absolutely. Did she expect anything less? No. Jongin hasn’t changed, he is still the same guy who lures you in, makes you feel safe and relaxed in his company and gives you the impression that there is something more to the encounter than what there is. Linda has changed though, even though the words kick down her confidence, she reacts by building the walls higher and placing thick, steel gates to make sure that nobody can ever get through.
With a deep breath, a solitary tear trailing down her cheek, she replies: sorry, maybe it was the time we spent together and you almost asking me out twice that led me to believe there was something more to it than what it was. Goodbye, Jongin. She deletes his number, every message he ever sent and took a moment to let the pain flow through her until it left her body.
It isn’t that Jongin played her, again, that seems to be the least of her concerns but Linda wonders if there’s something wrong with her. Something that makes her the type of girl that guys don’t seem to want to date, they are purely there for hook-ups or one nights. She’s fine when it’s on her terms but that’s because there are rules, boundaries; you don’t stay to cuddle, you don’t hang out and laugh, you go meet up and do the deed before never speaking again but that isn’t Jongin. No, he has to lure in his prey, make them feel special and wanted, he’s very good at that, the affection and she still can’t believe that it’s all an act.
But, it doesn’t matter now.
As Linda settles into reality that she may remain forever alone, unable to let anyone in without fear of ulterior motives, Jongin looks at her reply with shaky hands clutching his phone. He didn’t realise what he had sent until he sent it, he wishes he could have taken things back but what can he say to fix what he’s done.
He freaked, he really does like her and it freaks him out that she may want more from him than just casual sex. She is special, she’s always been special, from the very first moment that he laid eyes on Linda, he knew that she would change his life and she did - but he went and messed her up, again.
He sends her a message, something that he hopes will try and fix things but the message doesn’t go through and he knows what that means - she’s blocked him. It’s done, he deserves it but he feels sick inside. Linda places her phone down, fighting the pain in her chest as she crawls into her niece’s bed and wraps the small child up in her arms with a tender kiss on the top of her head. Even if she feels like no one would want her, that no one could ever love her in the way that she wishes they would - she would always have Addy.
Jongin may be called The Heartbreak Kid but with her little girl resting so sweetly in her arms, she knows that it won’t hurt for long.
