Pure As A Little Lamb
The Modern AU One-shot By Lemonluvgirl87
In response to an anonymous tumblr ask for a drabble with a promt for: “Katniss rooms with Johanna and while Johanna is looking for something in Katniss' room, she sees the used condom in the trash and calls up the gang (Finnick, Annie, Gale, and Peeta (even though unbeknownst to the rest of them it was Peeta she has been sleeping with) to figure out who Katniss had over the prior night.”
As always in my case the drabble turned into an fic. Here it is guys the whole juicy thing! Hope you like this one Everlark Anon! Also on AO3.
Johanna tap-taped the spike heel of her black mesh stiletto ankle boots on the tile of her and Katniss’ shared bathroom. Last night had been one hell of a rager at the frat house she’d ventured to solo and she’d gotten back just in time to beat the morning rush of walk of shamers that were currently filing down the halls in still slightly hungover embarrassment.
Johanna didn’t do embarrassment though, or shame.
She had woken up before the sun, popped two emergency aspirin from her purse, downed a bottle of water from the dorm room mini fridge, pulled her LBD back on and left a congratulatory note for the cute frat boy who managed to keep up with her for half the night despite the copious amount of tequila they had both shot at the party. She had done this all with an air of confidence and a self satisfied smile.
Sex was enjoyable. Therefore she enjoyed it. No caveats, no regrets (unless the guy was terrible), and absolutely no awkwardness.
It was their junior year of college after all. Now was the time to explore their sexual limits. Test the boundaries while their bodies were still young enough to bounce back from being tied up and screwed within an inch of their lives before waking up the next day and passing that exam on advanced economics.
At least that’s what she was always telling her friends Annie, Madge, and Katniss.
The whole sexual freedom speech had fallen on deaf ears though until six months ago, when Annie started hooking up with their university’s soccer team golden boy, Finnick. Now she finally had someone to trade sexual exploit stories with.
That Finnick is a freak in the sheets. Johanna thought amusedly as she stripped off her clothes and started to run the shower. She grabbed a pack of makeup removing wipes and gingerly started to clean her day old makeup off.
At least one of her friends had heeded her advice and started to branch out sexually. Johanna was proud of the work she had done with Annie. The girl had real potential to let her freak flag fly if she stuck with Finnick long enough to learn the ropes.
Her other two friends on the other hand….
Johanna sighed and shook her head at her reflection in the mirror. Madge wasn’t so bad. She was a little sexually repressed having grown up as the only child of a wealthy politician. She had lived most her life under a microscope, and she was just barely learning to let go of some of her deeply rooted inhibitions. She’d recently started to embrace the idea of casual hook ups and had even shared the last time they had a girl’s night that she’d gotten down and dirty with her casual guy in the back of the library.
Way to go Madge. Having sex in public places was a real show of progress for daddy’s little princess. She wasn’t completely liberated, but she was getting there.
Now the only one left was Fort Knox, A.K.A. Katniss Everdeen, who guarded her vagina more securely than the U.S. government guarded their gold bullion reserves. Johanna wasn’t even sure if Katniss had ever gotten laid. She was that tight lipped about the whole thing. Every time sex came up she put on a nasty little scowl and excused herself to the kitchen, or bathroom, or conveniently remembered some test she had to study for.
Johanna had been trying to crack her for years. Ever since the first week they moved in together freshman year and Katniss had almost peed her pants when she accidently opened Johanna’s box of sex toys while she was helping her new roommate unpack.
The look on the poor girl’s face when she saw the collection of vibrators, dildos, anal beads and nipple clamps was priceless. Like a tiny little lamb catching the first glimpse of the way lamb chops were made.
Johanna was starting to wonder if Katniss would ever find someone to connect with other than her platonic friends. She wasn’t just sexually repressed. She was emotionally unavailable too. She had a hard time letting people in. Johanna worried might die as an old maid if something didn’t change soon. Johanna tsked under her breath as she threw the used makeup wipes in the bathroom trash can, but she stopped before turning toward the shower.
A flash of gold color in the trashcan caught her eye.
Johanna knelt down to get a better look.
Holy mother of all shattered expectations. Johanna thought as she grabbed the roll of TP and proceeded to wrap her hand in several layers before she dug through the contents of the trash receptacle.
Used condom foil packets. Two of them. Along with (ew) two used condoms, sat mixed in with the usual array of makeup wipes, q-tips, and beauty product wrappers. Johanna avoided the used condoms but with surgeon-like precision she fished the condom wrappers out and made her way back into the main room so she could grab a zip lock bag.
After she had preserved the evidence she grabbed her cell and proceeded to send off multiple rapid fire messages on the group text thread. Then she climbed in the shower and scrubbed down in record time.
The first of her reinforcements arrived just as she finished pulling her t-shirt over her head.
“Oh my gosh, am I too late? I tried to get here as quickly as I could!” Madge exclaimed as she crossed the room and enveloped Johanna in a hug. Gale slipped in on her heels and offered Johanna a quiet ‘my condolences’, as he hovered awkwardly near the bed as if he was unsure where to sit.
“You’re just in time actually.” Johanna reassured her as she pulled away and hastily crossed to the dresser to grab a brush so she could brush out her short hair.
“You don’t seem too broken up about this, Jo. I mean, you said someone died.” Madge said as she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at her friend.
“I said there’s been a death in the family. But it's not a cause for sadness, Madge. It's a cause for celebration.” Johanna replied mysteriously.
“What the hell?” Madge asked in total bewilderment. But right at that moment Annie, Finnick, and Finnick’s roommate Peeta, who started playing tagalong with their group for the last couple months, filed in.
“What’s the emergency?” Finnick asked, his face concerned. Annie nodded as if she agreed with Finnick’s question and Johanna took a moment to gather herself before she made the announcement.
“Friends, I have discovered a disturbance in the force.” Johanna began and Peeta snorted from beside Annie for a second before Annie slapped his arm and shushed him. Of course he would get the Star Wars reference, he was kind of a nerd. A cute nerd but still. Johanna continued before she lost everyone’s attention.
“Something died in this room last night. A dark monster of unusual strength and tenacity. I tried for years to fell the foe, and yet in one night, while I was preoccupied with matters of great importance,” Someone, probably Annie snickered at this, probably guessing that matters of great importance was code for getting laid, but Johanna continued as if she hadn’t heard a thing, “the beast was vanquished without my knowledge. I have no clue as to how this happened. It is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. And as my dearest friends and comrades I call on you now to help me decode this conundrum. I need help piecing the tale back together. I NEED to know how it happened. Or I fear I will lose my everloving mind!” Johanna exclaimed in frustration as she faced the group. People’s faces were a mixture of confusion and boredom. Gale, namely, looked like he was two seconds from walking out. In fact he made a move to cross the room but Madge grabbed his arm and restrained him.
“You know Johanna’s Dungeon Master side comes out when she’s frustrated.” Madge whispers to him and he turns back with a groan.
Johanna gives him a pointed look before resuming. Sure, after all these years she still sometimes slips into her D&D character when the pressure’s on. All the sexual liberation in the world hadn’t cured her of her inner gamergirl persona. She would always be that girl underneath the high heels and the smokey eye makeup. And she didn’t apologize for it. A girl could be sexy and love epic fantasy.
Johanna dropped her voice low so that her friends had to lean forward to hear her.
“What was the name of this formidable beast that was conquered you ask? I’ll tell you. It was none other than Katniss Everdeen’s virginity!” She revealed and then proceeded to bask in the gratification of several gasps that echoed around the group.
“What? Kitty Kat finally got her kitten petted? That’s what this was all about?” Finnick managed to joke before he was overcome by a laughing fit.
Madge quickly began to protest in disbelief. Annie’s mouth gaped open and shut several times like a fish. Gale rolled his eyes. And Peeta turned about several shades of magenta.
Johanna wondered for a moment if he also fell into the same sexually stunted category as Katniss. Or, well, the one Katniss had previously fallen into until the whole condom wrapper discovery of the century. But that was a mystery of less importance than the one facing them now.
“This is not a laughing matter Odair. I’ve been trying to crack her for years! When I think about all the prep work I did! All the erotic literature and sex toys I gifted her over the years and then the little sneak goes and loses it without so much as a bat of her perfectly thick jet black eyeslashes! She never said anything about a guy! Did she Madge? Annie?” Johanna asked rhetorically as she began to pace.
“How do we even know this is for real? I mean I’m assuming you didn’t catch her in the act if you’re still wondering about who the guy is.” Gale says as he rubs his hand over his stubbled chin.
Johanna eyed him suspiciously. He had been the first on her list of suspects. Katniss had brought him into the group under the cover of being her best friend. Over the years Johanna wasn’t the only one who had wondered about them. He was the only guy Katniss seemed even remotely comfortable with, but both of them had stated emphatically several times that they were just friends. More like cousins than romantic partners. Still…he was a fine cut of man.
If Katniss was looking to take the plunge with someone she’d definitely pick a guy she trusted. Gale was certainly a good candidate. Which was why Johanna had included him in the group text. She wanted to test his reactions.
So, without a word Johanna marched over to the desk and proceeded to hold up the evidence for all to see. She watched Gale’s reaction particularly closely.
“Two Trojan natural sheepskin luxury condoms. Size Large. Looks like our pure little lamb found herself a fellow sheep to bed down with. One with a latex allergy apparently.” Johanna explained and there was a chorus of ‘ewwws’ that rang up as people eyed the ziplock baggie’s contents, but she ignored them. “It's just the wrappers. Chill out. But if you are wondering whether or not I found the used condoms, I did, in the bathroom trash can. Someone definitely got screwed with a capital F in this room last night. And for once it wasn’t me.” Johanna said as she lowered the ziplock baggie and surveyed her friends.
“Damn, this is actually getting interesting. I mean, I didn’t believe you at first Jo, but you did your homework.” Finnick said as a wide interested grin spread across his face.
“This beats going to Peirceson’s class.” Gale commented with a chuckle. He hadn’t shown any signs of guilt or nervousness. In fact, he seemed downright amused by the whole situation.
“You and Katniss are tight Hawthorne. Has she mentioned anyone lately?” Johanna probed.
“Katniss doesn’t tell me shit about her sex life. It’s one of our rules. We tried dating for like 5 minutes in high school and it was a disaster. After that we agreed to remain friends and stay out of each other’s love lives.” Gale admits and Johanna deflates inside. She had been counting on Gale being the mystery guy. Now that was out.
“Okay, okay. That’s unfortunate but we can still think this through.” Johanna mutters as she bites her thumbnail.
“Um, why don’t we just ask her?” Madge offers and both Gale and Johanna scoff.
“You know she’d never admit to anything Madge! We’ve been trying to get her to cut loose for years! She won’t even go to frat parties because she’s afraid of getting drunk and going home with some fuck boy and waking up with coyote ugly regrets.” Johanna exclaims with a dramatic eye roll.
“I agree with Johanna. Katniss will never spill. She’ll take it to the grave.” Gale says with a stoic nod of his head. Johanna makes a small sound of agreement and stalks over to Kantiss’s side of the room.
“What are you doing?” Peeta pipes up when Johanna checks the old fashioned record player that Katniss kept on her shelf above her bed.
“Checking for traces of mood music, duh.” Johanna says as she plucks out the record and examines the artist name.
“Just as I thought. It’s Etta James, At Last! God, could the girl get any more obvious?” Johanna says with an amused sigh. “It's like she wants us to find out. Leaving such obvious clues everywhere!” Johanna adds and surprisingly Gale, Finnick, and Annie nod in agreement.
“Ooh! Let’s check the laundry hamper for lingerie!” Annie squeals as she rocks back and forth on her feet in excitement.
“Great idea!” Johanna replies and the girls set off in pursuit of new clues.
“Um, this seems like a real invasion of privacy.” Peeta interjects with a disapproving tone and Johanna just rolls her eyes.
“If you don’t want to get your hands dirty boy scout, there’s the door.” Johanna tells him. But he doesn’t leave, he just shoves his hands in his pockets and frowns as he watches all their friends get into searching the room for more clues.
“Bingo! Black lace panties!” Annie says triumphantly as she holds up said underwear.
“I found what looks like the remnants of a container of chocolate covered strawberries.” Finnick says as he holds up a small food carton he fishes out of the trashcan near the desk.
“I found lube in her nightstand! Wait, this is her nightstand right?” Madge asks unsure as she holds up a small bottle of lube. Johanna reassures her that yes that’s Katniss’ nightstand not hers.
“Okay…so yeah I think there are too many signs to ignore this now.” Gale says as he blows out a breath. After the search concludes, everyone but Peeta sits on the beds and gathers the evidence into a neat pile in the middle of the floor.
“I mean, it's weird because Katniss is like family and on the one hand I wanna find the scum who deflowered my best friend and kick his ass….but on the other hand I kind of want to text her congrats or give her a high five. Is that too weird? I feel really conflicted.” Gale admits to the room as he tilts his head side to side as if debating with himself.
“It’s not weird at all buddy.” Finnick says reassuringly as he cuffs Gale’s shoulder goodnaturedly. Peeta hangs back, eyes wide and cheeks pink in stern disapproval.
“Well I don’t want to congratulate her. I want to interrogate her. I mean I gave her this lube last year for valentines day when she decided to stay in and watch horror movies instead of going frat hopping with me! This is high grade premium stuff! And the ungrateful little trollop didn’t even send me a thank you note!” Johanna exclaims angrily as she crosses her arms.
“Aww, don’t be mad Jo. It could have been a spur of the moment thing…maybe she was planning on telling you sometime today after her class and you got back from…wherever you were staying.” Madge tried to console her friend but Jo shook her head.
“No way Madge. This was planned. The underwear. The strawberries. That screams thought out romantic encounter! I mean, sure it's cheesy but it's so Katniss. I just don’t know why she’d hide this from me! I’ve always been in her corner!” Johanna said finally letting a little of the hurt she felt leak into her voice.
“For your information Johanna, Kantiss doesn’t owe you the details of her first sexual encounter. She’s her own person, and she’s a very private person. Have you ever thought that maybe you’re just a little pushy? Maybe you put too many expectations on her? Or that you intimidate her with your experience and totally uninhibited personality?” Peeta bites out the words angrily as he stares Johanna down. His face is red and his blue eyes, which are normally kind and compassionate, are livid.
“What? Who do you think is BoyScout? Kantiss and I have been friends for years! You joined this group…what? Four months ago? You have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t intimidate my friends. I support them and gently encourage them to branch out in the areas in which they have grown stagnant.” Johanna argues back.
“Johanna, I’ve been hanging out with you guys for almost 8 months now. Maybe you think you’re supporting your friends when it comes to their sex lives, but in actuality you’re judging them for not crossing items off the imaginary college sexual escapades list, like you.” Peeta says, and adds a self righteous little scoff at the end.
“You know what Bakery Boy, you can take your sanctimonious ass and vacate my dorm room right now for that! I’m not going to listen to your gaslighting techniques!” Johanna shouted pointing her index finger towards the door.
“Jo, don’t get mad at Peeta. He’s just-” Madge interjects, always the diplomat and peacemaker. A true politician’s daughter to the end.
“Just what? Calling me a terrible friend? Insulting me, and how I choose to live my life?” Johanna fires back.
“Jo, you know I admire and respect you babe.” Finnick interjected with a strained smile, and then amended his compliment, “I mean you could teach me a thing or two in the bedroom, if we were in some alternate universe where there was no Annie of course.” He said looking at Annie sitting next to him to gauge her reaction. She simply rolled her eyes and gave him an understanding smile that encouraged him to keep going. “But you are kind of an…elitist when it comes to sex. Is that the right word? I don’t even know. All I know is Annie and the girls look up to you, and yeah they take cues from you on what’s ok and what’s not. You’ve taught them some really important stuff, like making sure to get tested regularly. Always use protection. How to recognize a douchebag partner who’s only looking to score in the sac, and the rest. But not everyone is like you. You’re so open and unapologetically sexual that it really is intimidating. Even to experienced guys like me. Not to mention inexperienced shy girls like Katniss.” Finnick finishes and Johanna sits back stunned for a moment.
She looks over at Madge and Annie who are looking down at their hands avoiding her gaze.
“Is that true?” She asks them.
“Kind of.” Annie replies, finally looking up and meeting Johanna’s questioning gaze.
“I mean I used to sometimes feel like a failure every time I got back from a party and didn’t hook up or arrange a date with someone. But you always did.” Annie says in a quiet voice.
Johanna’s face paled in embarrassment.
“And then the next morning or evening we’d get together and you’d regale us with the details of your conquests. I felt like an awkward preteen compared to you and all your experiences.” Madge added.
“I never meant-”
“We know Jo. That’s the thing we love about you. You live your life so freely. Nothing you do is ever to put any of us down. That’s just how you roll. And that’s ok. What Finnick said is true. We learned from you, about how to take care of ourselves at clubs and parties. And how to ensure communication with our partners so sex isn’t a one sided conversation. I mean, I’d never even achieved a vaginal orgasm until you gifted me that book of sex positions for Christmas this past year.” Madge admitted with a sly grin and she chuckled a little at herself. The rest of the group laughed too and Johanna felt the somber mood dissipate a little.
“Still, that’s you two. You and Annie are nowhere near as guarded as Katniss is. I don’t know how to fix this if Peeta’s right and I’ve been too pushy with her this whole time.” Johanna replies dismally.
“The first thing you can do is start by explaining what the heck everyone’s doing here in our room. And why you’ve piled a bunch of trash in the middle of our floor Johanna.” Katniss’ voice cuts into the contemplative silence of the room and every head swivels to take in the girl in question, with her notoriously silent tread and ability to sneak up on people.
“Katniss!” Johanna’s voice is a nervous squeak and completely unrecognizable.
By the worried looks on everyone else’s face they were just as nervous at Katniss discovering the evidence of their snooping as Johanna was.
Katniss stepped closer and examined the pile in the middle of the room and gasped.
“Oh, my gosh. Please tell me you guys did not-”
“To be fair Mason kind of pulled us all into it. We didn’t believe her until she showed us the condom wrappers. And it just spiraled from there.” Gale cuts off Katniss’ tirade by taking the blame preemptively off himself.
“Oh, way to throw me under the bus Hawthorne.” Johanna angrily tells him and he shrugs as if to say he’d rather deal with an angry Johanna than an angry Katniss.
“C-condom w-wrappers?” Katniss stutters and her face turns a startling shade of red under her smooth olive complexion.
“Yes. Condom wrappers. Among other things…” Johanna says with a sigh as she turns to look at her roommate.
“Are you SERIOUS?!” Katniss yells, anger mounting.
“Well, you never tell me anything anymore Katniss! I had to call in reinforcements! I was hoping at least one of our friends could tell us what’s going on with you seeing as how you haven’ mentioned this AT ALL!” Johanna returns Katniss’ anger spark for spark.
Katniss shrinks a little, crosses her arms over her chest and turns away.
“Katniss, is there something wrong? With our friendship? I’ve been trying to figure it out. If it was just a one time thing with the guy, that’s ok. Or if he was a terrible lay, or whatever, you know I’d never judge you.”
“It wasn’t terrible. Or a one time thing!” Katniss replies indignantly and whirls back on Johanna, her silver eyes flashing.
“It wasn’t?” Peeta’s incredulous but terribly hopeful voice pipes up from a forgotten corner of the room and in that moment it all clicks into place.
Johanna stares at Peeta’s wide, optimistic blue eyes that sparkle with unmistakable love as he stares at Katniss like she’s the entire world.
Distantly Johanna hears Annie gasp.
“Oh, shit.” Finnick murmurs and shakes his head before he starts to laugh. Katniss grits her teeth and scowls so hard Johanna wonders if her mouth will ever be able to turn up again.
“What the hell?” Gale asks in disbelief as he stares between Katniss and her blond paramour. Madge gently patts Gale’s arm in a comforting manner.
“Great. Just great Peeta. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen! Now they all know!” Katniss exclaims while throwing her arms up in frustration.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean for it to slip out. But, is it so terrible that our friends know? Are you ashamed of sleeping with me or something?” Peeta asks in a heartbroken voice.
“No! Of course not! I just….like my privacy!” Katniss replied vehemently. Peeta visibly brightens, a big goofy grin spreading and taking up almost his entire face.
“As long as you’re not embarrassed to be with me.” He tells her gently.
“After everything we did last night do you really think I’ve any residual embarrassment when it comes to us?” Katniss says as she tilts her head in his direction in an exasperated way.
“So there’s an us?” Peeta skips over her annoyance and latches onto the silver lining with impressive precision.
“Of course there is, you idiot.” Katniss tells him with a huff.
“Oh, my god.” Peeta exclaims breathlessly before crossing the room and wrapping Katniss up in a spontaneous hug. Katniss returns his hug stiffly before looking up into his eyes and promptly getting lost.
Their friends watch on in awe as they witness the sweet and incredibly romantic exchange.
Johanna smiles at them, knowing the perfect first step to beginning her apology.
Quietly she sends her friends some covert looks and one by one they slip out the door at Johanna’s silent urging.
“Where’s everybody going?” Peeta finally breaks the loving gaze he and Katniss had been locked in and looks around to find the room practically empty, and Johanna the last one at the door.
“We’re gonna go get some lunch. You two enjoy your privacy. No more snooping I promise.” Johanna says with a wink at both of them.
Katniss’ cheeks flush a delicate color of pink and Peeta chuckles in a deep way that makes Johanna privately proud of her roommate and friend.
“We’ll be gone for at least a few hours. But when I get back I expect details roomie!” She says over her shoulder as she pulls on her purse and opens the door.
“Not likely.” Katniss mutters, but her voice lacks the angry bite that she had been sporting a few minutes ago.
Johanna just waves dismissively at them and steps through the door. But not before she hears Peeta say, “Well, you heard her. Let’s get started making some delicious details Sweetheart.”
Johanna hears Katniss’ loud lingering laugh even as she disappears down the hall.