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WHY DOES COLONOSCOPY PREP FEEL LIKE PISSING OUT YOUR ASSHOLE WITH LUMPS THAT AREN'T ACTUALLY LUMPS THEY'RE JUST WATER?!
It's HELL and IDK why I said yes to this when I know so many people have said it's the worst thing ever. (I want answers to my tummy troubles is why)
I have a headache and am cranky and tried because I've barely eaten anything in the last two days and I'm somehow dehydrated even though I've drank like 5 litres of fluid today.
As a person who has had a colonoscopy for IBS reasons, finding out that they sell magnesium citrate, the Drink That Makes You Shit Burning Hot Discharge For Hours, in little pills for "nervous system support" is both horrifying and hilarious to me.
The hospital called and told me that they changed the time for my procedure from 16:30 to 15:30 so now i'm late with my prep and i absolutely want to cry
Started colonoscopy prep like 1hr and a half ago and it's actually pretty chill so far????? No cramps??????? Im surprised
The Prep
According to my instructions, I'm supposed to take a whole 10oz bottle of magnesium Citrate at noon.
Turns out all the stuff I'm supposed to drink has artificial sweeteners in it. Yo, Doc; all you had to do was make me drink ordinary beverages with artificial sweeteners in it; that stuff cleans me out with brutal efficiency.
This preparation was the lemon lime flavored version. Tasted like a Sprite that had gone flat and been reduced by quite a bit. Very intense citrus flavor, oddly thicker than I was expecting. (Not syrupy, it just felt "dense".)
In an hour, I'm supposed to mix up and start drinking the gatorade/miralax potion of Shit Myself.
I’m just shitting water now????
I'm getting an EGD scope, colonoscopy & IUD swap today and the colonoscopy prep is killing me. I'm so nauseous and I've maxed my antiemetics. I can't force myself to drink the prep anymore cause it made me throw up AND shit myself simultaneously. For the amount of colonoscopies that are performed, you'd think they'd make a way to do the prep that isn't hellish
Please let nothing be wrong with my colon. I don't wanna do this shit ever again 😭
