My thrice damned motherfucking leg hurts. I’ll tell you all about it in the morning.
We had a thunderstorm roll through last night. I waited until it subsided to deal with the garbage. (Thursday morning is trash day.)
I cleaned out two litter boxes, gathered the other trash and set it on the porch. I then went down the stairs and around the side of the house to retrieve the rolling garbage can.
I set it at the foot of the steps and began the process of carrying heavy bags of garbage down the steps to the can.
With one bag in each hand, my feet slipped right out from under me and down I went. I fell to the side, the side that doesn't have a railing.
I know that after a fall it's not a good idea to try to move right away; the adrenaline masks injury.
So I lay there.
In the wet mud and grass.
Looking up at the rain clouds. Wondering if it was going to start up again.
My partner was inside, in bed. The front door was open, though the storm door was shut. I called for him. I called out in full Heraldic Voice. I shouted.
No one was coming to help.
I started to shake and cry. I hadn't hit my head. I didn't seem to have any broken bones. I crawled over to the can and realized that one of the bags had dumped out bathroom trash, so I had to pick up used rubber gloves and butt wipes off of the wet ground.
I managed to get the trash into the can, get the can to the street, and climb the slick wet steps back into the house. Weeping and shaking the whole time.
I startled my partner awake by saying "Are you totally out cold?"
"Huh? No! What?"
I explained that I had fallen and called for him but he didn't hear me.
Nightmare scenario. I mean, I'm pretty good at being independent, but it just sucks.
I have a nasty bruise/scrape on my calf, which was the main source of my pain last night.
Early this morning my knee had something to say, too. I'm pretty sure I tweaked it, so I need to go get some imaging. I have a friend on the way to take me in to Urgent Care.
And before everyone gives me well meaning advice:
The front steps DO have grip tape on them, though it's a little old and worn.
Yes, I realize that wearing my crocs wasn't my best move, as the tread on them is getting worn, too.
Yes, I know I shouldn't have tried to carry heavy things in both hands down the wet steps after walking in the grass. I was in a hurry and tired, it was after midnight.
What is the matter with my partner? He's got his own health struggle going on, and he's both on pain medication and experiencing a heretofore unknown level of executive dysfunction. His executives have been on a 3 martini lunch for over a year and now they're heading down to the Cayman islands to scuba dive and commit financial crimes. Chemo Brain is real.
So I will go buy some of that grit that goes in the paint and repaint the steps with it. (I did this at the last house for the same reason.)
I have revoked my partner's Adult status.
Fortunately, I switched my schedule around to take a shift on Saturday, so I have today off to figure things out.
I'm at Urgent Care right now and they just took my x-rays.
Oh boy it gets better.
So it seems that the Urgent Care facility does not, in fact, take my insurance. Which I didn't know, and the X-ray tech helping at reception didn't know.
I told them that if I had known, I would have *gone to the hospital instead*.
So they're claiming that they will eat the fees above and beyond the $50 I spent as my copay.
They also said that they might be able to refund me the $50 copay, too, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
I got a knee brace but wearing it hurts too much right now.
