Journal Entry #1
My Dearest Georgie,
I hope you’ll forgive my not writing sooner. It’s something I never considered doing if I’m being honest. To write to someone who is no longer with me, someone who’s not even alive anymore, is intimidating. And if I’m being honest, seems like such nonsense to do. Why bother writing to someone who will never see this? But someone convinced me to try, to write my own deep thoughts down in this journal as a way of getting them out. He claimed I bottle too much up and that it’ll be “detrimental to my mental health”. Laughable, really. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt some kind of pull to write something. Something to you. So that’s what I’m going to try and start doing, darling.
My time here in Covaire City has been interesting. Actually it’s, and pardon my language, fucking chaotic if I’m being honest. But something tells me you’d like it here. With me. Given the chaos we used to live among. I still laugh thinking about how you swore to your daddy you wouldn’t venture off for fear of running into the vampires, but I remember the mischievous glint in your gaze that you’d slide my way when he wasn’t looking. Despite the terror they could rain down on us, something inside you had always been curious. You acted like a reckless little vixen. My brave little beauty. Something tells me you’d have thrived here with me.
Especially if you saw me in action here. I never like to use my strength and power to inflict pain or punishment on others. Something you’d know better than anyone else, darling. But this week was necessary. Some moron civilian tried to attack two human escorts as they were returning back to Le Bordel, where I work. I normally would have been long gone from my shift, but something had be sticking around a bit longer, chatting with a fellow guard there. When I heard the screams for help, something in me was triggered or something, pulling me back to one of the first attacks on our town. It was like I saw red and was unaware of what I was even doing after seeing one female on the ground unconscious and the other pinned beneath the male wolf. For some reason I still don’t get, my mind flashed to your picture, a part of me thinking you were the one who needed my help. And that made me want to kill that son of a bitch. But I kept that control, despite beating the shit out of the guy before I snapped his neck with ease, and got those girls some help before I dragged his sorry ass off to the Chateau where he’ll hopefully stay. I’m telling you this because, despite being the complete opposite when I was human, shadowing the doctor in town, part of me knows you, and your daddy, would have been proud.
And that’s all I’ve ever wanted and will always want. You’re my reason for holding onto my humanity, the one who keeps me grounded. And I hope writing to you like this will continue to do so.
Until next time, my love.
-Colt