📚 with an early chris and nat?
Nat flinches back as Chris lets out a scream of frustration and throws the book across the room. It smacks into the wall and drops to the ground, open to a random page, the oversized letters easily readable even from this far away.
Easily readable for her, anyway.
"I, I don't want to do this anymore!" He snaps, shaking his head, rocking almost violently forward and back, forward and back. Nat takes a breath, trying to decide what to do - hug him? Wait it out? Sometimes a hug helps, sometimes it makes things worse. Waiting might just mean Chris cycling down into his self-hatred again, or it might give him time to calm and get through it on his own.
She settles for getting to her feet, with a slight groan as her knees protest, and walking over to pick the book up. "Chris-"
"It, it, it it it hurts! It hurts and it's, I'm too, I'm never gonna read again and I shouldn't even try, I, I I I'm too fucking stupid to read!"
He smacks his hands into the floor, and Nat holds the book, running her own hands back and forth over the slightly shiny cover of the book. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but she should have known better - in retrospect, it was a hard day for Chris right from the start. Waking from a nightmare, struggling with leaving his room, getting overwhelmed when the roadwork guys had gone down the road - and then something about lunch had been wrong, but he hadn't been able to say what...
"Chris, it's okay," She says, softly, and takes a seat on the couch. "It's okay. We can stop for now, all right? We can try again later."
He looks up at her, eyes red-rimmed with tears, wiping almost viciously at them with the back of one hand. "I'm too-... they they they made me too stupid to read," He says, and the awful misery of his voice cracks her heart in two. "They hurt me and I can't-... I can't do it and I want to get better, but-... but but but I can't, I can't get better-"
"You can. You can, Chris, and you will. But there's no deadline, you don't have to hurry." Nat sighs, and then looks down at the book, thinking. "Would you like me to read to you for a while?"
He goes quiet, sitting in sullen silence for a few seconds, and then gets to his feet, moving across the room and flopping dramatically onto the couch next to her. "Yes," He says, in a low voice, his hair hanging over his eyes. "Please."
"No problem. Let's just take some deep breaths." She opens the book and starts to read from the spot they'd left off, keeping her voice low, a soft soothing near-monotone.
At first, Chris sits with his knees pulled up, forehead resting against them, humming soft and rocking. The humming comes to a stop, until Nat's voice is the only thing in the room, and then finally the rocking stops, too.
When he leans slowly over until his head rests against her, Nat never misses a beat. She keeps reading, even as she slides an arm around his shoulder and holds him.
"I'm, I'm I'm-I'm sorry," he says, in a voice so small she can barely hear him.
Nat places her finger on the last word she had read to mark her place, and turns, resting her cheek against the top of his head. "It's okay. Hard days are a part of living, Chris. I understand. It's okay."
"Are you-... are are are you mad at me, for throwing the, um, the book?"
"No, honey. But can we try again tomorrow?"
He nods, closing his eyes.
Nat starts reading again, and feels the tension in his body very slowly relaxing.
Maybe tomorrow will be better all around.
Chris has so many good days, it's not such a big deal to roll with the bad ones.
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