What Have You Done Lately?
One thing has been on my mind lately, and by lately I mean it has traveled in and out of my thoughts for a solid year. I like to think of the phenomenon as "Oh, this old thing?" Who doesn't know of the cliched response women make to one another after a compliment that displays fake humility while at the same time attempting to garner jealousy in the person it's directed to. The idea that you just happened to look amazing or pick a stunning outfit on accident, well, you're just gifted, just lucky, you're naturally just a little bit better than your admirers. This little trick of manipulation doesn't just happen between women at tea parties and brunch. Oh no. Celebrities do it. Some politicians do it. The media reveres it. The magical princess riding in on her unicorn who was just born into perfection, who just stumbled on to fame and fortune, for whom a perfect life is merely an accident is an American ideal. In every case, THIS IS FALSE. Don't believe it. For each person to have gotten where they are required an action. Required some sort of work. It's true that some people aren't aware of what they did or felt their actions were commonplace and so in hindsight see the consequences as a serendipitous accident. But for many, they know exactly what they did, they just don't want to share their toys. And they don't have to. They don't owe it to you to tell you every step of their journey, even if they had the time or could remember all of them. But you should know that whether it was moving to a new place, taking a new job, enrolling in a class, starting a blog or a website, putting their thoughts down on paper, asking a love interest to be with them or accepting the advances of a potential love interest. They acted. I think it's important to point this out b/c there was a time when I blindly fell for the "this old thing" trick. And I know a lot of other young people do too. It's easy to see a smiling face with everything it desires and assume it's always been smiling. And if that face corroborates your assumption, "I met him at a party, on accident! I took a job I hated and stumbled into one I loved! I was sitting by myself one day and had my calling! I just got into finance to pay the bills and now I happen to be a millionaire," you can be dead in the water. You never know the struggle someone went through to get where they are, and they're not likely to tell you, even if you ask, is my point. All the more reason why it's fruitless to compare your story to another's and why every little step you take can be the thing that leads to you "making it" so take them.