description: britta finds out about r’s age regression in psychology class.
the psychology of…
‘good morning class’ your psychology professer exclaimed as he walked into the room. ‘today, we will be learning about…’ he turned to write on the blackboard. ‘age regression.’
you jumped slightly in your seat.
he continued, ‘now, for those of you who are aspiring therapists…’ the whole class looked at britta; she never shut up about her therapist aspirations, therapisterations, as she called them. ‘this is something you may want to teach your patients to help them deal with trauma, so listen up.’
you glanced at the blonde at the desk next to you and smirked. you two had been best friends since jeff had formed the study group all those years ago, and you loved her dearly. however, she didn’t know about your age regression. no one did, actually. you’d love to tell people, and maybe even have a caregiver, like you read about online, but you were just too scared for peoples reactions.
which is why, during this class, you decided to do everything you could to not show your personal views on the topic of todays lesson.
opening your notebook and scrawling down the date, you looked back over at your professer.
‘this is when people think they’re children and act like them on purpose to feel loved.’ he continued.
you clenched your teeth together at the bad explanation, resisting the urge to correct him, however, before you can, someone else does.
‘actually, i think it’s more like a mental state, not a choice.’ you were shocked to hear the voice of your best friend. you had presumed that britta knew nothing about age regression, as she never mentioned it, but then again neither did you. ‘i read about it online prior to this lesson’
‘okay class, britta perry thinks she can teach this lesson better than me. would you like to come up and have a go then, hm?’ he questioned in a mocking manner, earning a few sniggers around the room.
britta sunk back in her seat, folding her arms.
you wanted to get up and tell her that she was right, but you knew you couldn’t, so you put your head down and waited for the lesson to carry on.
about half way through, your leg wouldn’t stop shaking with stress and your mind was getting foggy. all the talking about age regression was starting to make you slip, and you were desperately trying not to. half an hour left of the lesson, you thought. that wasn’t so bad, right?
‘now class, turn to the person next to you, and discuss what you’ve learnt so far this lesson. i need to go and collect some papers from the faculty room.’
you resisted turning around for a second until you had composed yourself a bit more, but once you did, britta’s kind blue eyes met yours as she smiled slightly, and you lost it, immediately having to stop yourself from bursting into tears. her eyebrows furrowed as if she was analysing you, before she stood up, grabbing your hand and leading you out of the room.
once outside, she didn’t stop walking until you were in the study room, where she sat down with you on her lap, stroking your hair and shushing you gently. this was something that she’d found out you liked a few years ago. during many panic attacks and moments of sadness, she’d been the only one able to console you.
this kept going until your breathing had slowed and you were somewhat relaxed against her chest.
‘you wanna tell me what that was all about then, hm?’
the words would have scared you if they were from someone else, but she spoke calmly and kindly, without a hint of judgement or hate in her voice, and somehow this made tears start falling from your eyes again.
you brought your thumb to your mouth by accident; you’d done it so many times when you were little and alone that you didn’t realise you were doing it now. you pulled it away a second later after realising, hoping to god that britta hadn’t seen. what you didn’t know, was that she was smiling down at you, her thoughts of what was happening were probably right, she presumed.
gently, she put her own hand in yours and squeezed it lightly, to let you know everything was okay. you allowed yourself to relax a bit more in her embrace as you both sat in comfortable silence.
after a while, she moved so that you were face to face, wiping your tears with her thumbs, before kissing you on the forehead.
‘you okay, little one?’ she said, almost a whisper.
you gasped, attempting to wriggle out of her embrace, thinking she would make fun of you, or hate you forever.
‘hey now, shh’ she said in a hushed tone. ‘where are you off to in such a hurry?’
you began to panic, managing to mutter the words ‘i’m sorry’, before going limp against her. you were too scared, and stressed, and overwhelmed to fight it anymore. britta knew now, and you didn’t know what she would do about it, but you did know that, if anyone had to know, you would rather it was her.
so, when she cradled you in her arms, you didn’t resist. and when you began playing with her hair, she didn’t resist. in fact, she smiled down at you.
‘you could’ve told me, my baby’ she stated softly, before backtracking. ‘oh i’m sorry, i didn’t mean my- i mean, you’re my best friend, but i don’t want you to feel any pressure or-‘
you interrupted her with a soft murmur.
‘what’s that?’ she questioned.
‘my’ you replied quietly, smiling up at her with adoration.
she sighed happily, relieved that she hadn’t scared you. ‘yeah, my baby! you wanna be my little angel, hm?’
you nodded enthusiastically, trying to convey without words how happy and grateful you felt.
‘come on then, let’s get you home! you’re probably hungry. i’ll stay with you and look after you. you never have to do it alone again, honey. i promise.’ britta stood up, her arm around your waist to keep you safe as you walked through school and to her car, where she’d drive to your apartment, learn what food and drink you like, what tv shows made you the happiest, and what games you like to play with her, and where she’d stay right by your side all night.