#commutercontempt

[commutercontempt-blog]

You Are Violating Unspoken Code

You know when you go into a public bathroom -- for the fellas (ladies take note, the shit is real) -- and there are three unrinals against the wall. You grab one on the end, so if some guy walks in to piss while you are pissing, he can choose the urinal that is the farthest away from your penis. It’s guy code. Don’t go into the bathroom and select the middle urinal...UNLESS there are already two penises shooting urine into the urinals on BOTH the left and right. Even then, maybe grab a stall.

So, I was on the train the other day and I was standing in the vestibule. I was all by myself. About 2 minutes into the ride a guy had walked forward and decided to stand on the same side of the vestibule as me. Meanwhile, there was not a single person standing anywhere in the car. DUDE. Don’t walk up on me like that. Get your ass as far away from me as possible. This means stand against the other doors. On the other side.

He probably walks into bathrooms and gets as close to the penis as possible. I hate those people.

[commutercontempt-blog]

Greatest Quiet Car Encounter I’ve Seen

Here’s the scene: pretty packed peak train home from Grand Central. About 6 people standing in each vestibule. On complete opposite corners stand an old guy (he’s bald with remnants of grey hair) and a younger guy (clean cut 30-ish with impeccably crafted beard).

Young guy picks up a cell phone call. He doesn’t give much of a fuck, but isn’t being that loud.

Old guys starts yelling, “GET OFF! GET OFF! HANG UP! HANG UP THE PHONE! YOU! ARE! IN! THE! QUIET! CAR!”

Young guy ignores the old guy for a good bit. Doesn’t let the person on the phone know he is being censured for his quiet car phone call.

Old guy keeps on with the, “HANG UP THE PHONE!” The old guy was all in on shutting this young guy down.

Young guy gets off the call and basically says, “what is your problem?”

Old guy reminds him, bright red face and all, that he is in the quiet car and not allowed to use cell phones. He knew he had to stay strong. 

But the young guy battled back with a, “FUCK YOU!” I think he even flicked him off.

Old guy honestly had no idea what to do next. But again, he had to stay strong. This is where the greatest part of the story occurs.

Old guy POINTS at the young guy. Arm extended, just pointing at him. Old guy didn’t know what to do so he just pointed at the young guy.

Young guy couldn’t believe he was being pointed at. So he sarcastically points back at the guy making a goof out of it. But young guy was livid.

Old guy then goes, in the most old guy talking to a young guy type of manner, “this conversation is OVER.”

Young guy just stares at the old man with pure seething rage.

He does this for maybe 2 minutes then gives it up.

BTW - older guy had headphones on the entire time. He spoke up for the quiet car and could have just listened to his old time radio or whatever the fuck it is. But he didn’t he stood tall for the people in the car like myself. The ones who are too scared to say anything. So thank you.

And thank you to the younger guy for putting on a helluva show for us. Well, it was actually just me. No one else seemed to care what was transpiring. Me? I fucking loved every ounce of it. At one point I looked around hoping to catch a glimpse of someone else enjoying the fuck out of the show. 

Whatever. Party of one right over here for the quiet car bickering. Front row ever single damn time.