I heard you mention IronWidowHawk and 👀👀👀 Clint and Natasha are on a mission and they're closing in on their mark but then they realize the guy their mark's talking to is Tony?!? "I missed you," Tony says when they try to scold him. "That's very sweet but please don't talk to black market arms dealers when you miss us," Natasha tells him. "I just wanted to see how his kids were doing, they go to college in the states," Tony complains. Clint and Natasha didn't even know their mark HAD kids.
Heyyyy!! It’s great to hear from you again, especially with such a brilliant prompt! How are you doing?
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Tony, being Tony, is outraged. On their behalf. Because whoever dared to send them into the field on this little information and with such shoddy background checks is just asking to get them killed and Tony. Will. Not. Stand. For. It.
Clint is pretty sure that means he’s missing the entire point of Natasha’s lecture, but he’s a little annoyed at the half-assed files himself, so he’s willing to let it go. Or, well, not let it go. But unleash his fuming boyfriend on whichever agent has the misfortune to be responsible for their mission details, before he sits him down and has another talk about Things That Tony Is Well Capable Of Doing But Should Not Do Anyways For The Peace Of Mind Of His Partners.
It’s a list that just keeps on growing.
To be fair, both Nat and Clint come back home injured often enough to give Tony is fair share of grey hairs too. It all balances out. Still, it’s the principle of the thing.
You just don’t want your civilian boyfriend to chill with his black market contacts in the hopes of running into you on a mission.
Actually, some people might say you don’t want your civilian boyfriend to have black market contacts, but those are the kind of people that have a stable 9-to-5 job that doesn’t involve dodging bullets and hot-wiring the car of a drug cartel leader, so what do they know?
Natasha, always the most practical of the three, doesn’t let Tony run wild on an unprepared SHIELD agent in the end. And it’s not because she’s worried about Tony – more like, she’s worried about SHIELD realizing exactly how much Tony can do when he puts his mind to it. And he always does when it involves them.
So really, it’s for the best of everyone that Natasha stalks the unfortunate desk jokey home, drops from the ceiling when he’s about to go to bed and explain in very simple words how you dispose of a body in a well-surveilled city like New York City.
In theory.
Their handler isn’t impressed, but neither were Clint and Natasha with their clusterfuck of a mission and the fact that, in the end, they call Tony two hours after insisting he goes home because someone needs to get them useful intel and Tony is going to rub that in for ages, so that’s alright.
Tony does indeed rub that particular misfortune of theirs in for ages. But that’s okay. Clint knows how to shut him up.
(Passionate kisses are all well and good, but nothing trips Tony up and makes him dissolve into a blushing, stuttering mess like a soft kiss on the edge of his lips or his forehead or the tip of his nose.)
“Next time you meet a black market arms dealer, please tell us?” Natasha asks because their relationship has taught all three of them the value of a good compromise.
“Okay,” Tony agrees sleepily and cuddles closer.
Which is why neither of them should have been caught off-guard when, three weeks later, Tony sends them a text consisting of gonna meet up with an old buddy, love you byeee with a lot of heart and gun emojis at the end.