May 17, 2025
I think the thing about comptop no one rlly acknowledges is it's not always about sex (And in my experience virtually never about sex) and is more of a proxy for the fact most people expect the top/dom to take the role of "Stoic and perpetually dominant person who never needs nor expects to be able to display any form of emotional vulnerability or require any form of comfort." (Beyond the bare minimum eg physical presence and repeating stock phrases, such as "It will be okay")
So in an unfortunately common scenario to convince someone to dom you is to basically convince someone to treat you as anything other than a person who Does The Sex to them.
#don't even get me started on how that role is also basically just “#“The man”#comptop#idk sometimes I feel like Being Flirted With is like literally the only version of comfort or being made to feel safe and wanted that I can#ever get#and even then#comptop lol#so it's not like I actually get that in my sex life#can't get comfort in friendship due to lack of intimacy#can't get comfort while or after domming#only time subbing is rare and sporadic and the person domming will#resent you for it and probably abandon you quietly very soon after#so like#asking for it is a stupid idea#idk how other people do it#I think being able to dom and be comforted and not have those be treated as segmented or conflicting things would fix it but like that's#not happening. hence the post#to clarify I don't mean the act of domming I mean like the act of domming + the entire relationship (generally) after#not just domming but being The Dom