#comrade unfamiliar

[sokrovennyi]

What's the best advice you have for fighting a bear? And should the fight stop being physical but turn mental instead, what game of wits would a bear most likely lose?

     “Do not fight the bear. Befriend the bear. If you cannot do that, then you are better off letting it maul you.”

[sokrovennyi]

Repeat after me: Vodka is not an appropriate laxative for my emotional constipation.

      “You must be buying the cheap kind.”

[sokrovennyi]

Wait hold up. *gets out the rubber bands* Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it. *fwip* *fwip* *fwip*

     “Nobody will mourn the loss of one foolish American.” While they pull another rubber band from their pocket, he ran over and, with practiced ease, snapped their neck.

[sokrovennyi]

I hear Russkies are fond of dash cams. Do you use one? Do you ever watch Russian dash cam videos?

     “They are invaluable to have when you can never know what is going to happen.” On the road, it was impossible to predict what could happen on any given day; it gave him the comfort of always having records of what happened around him. “Sometimes I will watch some. They certainly never fail to entertain.”

[sokrovennyi]

*strokes your cheek gently, leans over, and whispers into your ear* "Cуки любят острые ножи"

     Straight up grabs them by the neck and slams them hard into the ground. “Stay far away from me.”

[sokrovennyi]

I’m here for your ankle bones

     “I can break yours if you like.”

[sokrovennyi]

oh worm?

     “Run far and run fast and never return.”

[sokrovennyi]

If you had kids, what kind of father do you think you'd be? Would you ever want to be a father? How would you handle raising a representative versus a human child?

     “I cannot have children so it is never a situation I imagined for myself. I would not wish to be a father.” Least of all to a human child. “There would have to be far too many secrets. Things I could not quite tell them, things I could not share with them, things I could not relate to them about. I am not home often and my dogs would not make suitable replacement parents.” Though he had grown up with animals in his very early youth and look how he turned out. “I would be a terrible father and no child would deserve that.”