#condoll

[ohdollydarling]

talked about this with a friend (you know who you are /silly) dolly and scar have an ongoing game/challenge where they both attempt to make up the sappiest, cringiest petname for cub (who isn’t a petname kind of man) that makes him actually react. it’s been like. four years since they started that game, and they haven’t gotten any farther than a casual ‘you talking to me?’ or a raised eyebrow

[ohdollydarling]

still doing homework. but here’s a height comparison of dolly + her husbands

[ohdollydarling]

hi again, here’s a condoll thought. there is sort of a running gag that none of the hermits figure out scolly’s relationship until years after they started dating, yes? well for condoll, no one knew they all were together up until they got the wedding invitations. the hermits were not happy (/j they were don’t worry)

[ohdollydarling]

hi hello. like everyone on earth i am thinking about vampires smp /silly so this is the perfect time to talk about my selfship and how condoll can fit in this au

so um. picture this. dolly is the stereotypical trope of a vampire. a little too pale, aversion to sunlight/silver, gothic clothing (she even wears a goddamn veil), and she barely talks but you swear you can see a little fang peeking out. and everyone is. so convinced she is secretly a vampire and is waiting for her to slip up.

but the thing is. she is not a vampire, all of those characteristics are either coincidences, or can be easily explained away. the actual vampires are her two very gorgeous husbands, who are fooling everybody and acting completely clueless to everyone’s suspicions because what?? their wife?? oh she’s just very shy, that’s why she’s wearing that veil! she’s also a little sensitive to light, that’s why she’s always in the shade/carrying a parasol! no other reason :) anyways excuse them while they go and have some blood lunch with their beautiful wife!!!

[ohdollydarling]

heyy…um…convex and dolly hcs…mostly cub and dolly hcs

— before that i have something to say!! this polyclue is gonna be separate from the scolly and mumbo polycule! so like..pretend this is a different timeline where mumbo doesn’t have a crush on scar and dolly (i know, hard to believe/j)

— also. cub and dolly’s ship name is dollvex, and the ship name for scar, cub and dolly is condoll because mixing their names together for a ship name is not a good idea /hj

— okay now onto the actual headcanons. if dolly had a nickel for every time she had a crisis because her crush who presented as someone like super old suddenly became young she would have two nickels. or maybe three if you count mumbo, sort of?

— the difference between scar and cub is that cub is able to repress the fact that he’s into dolly longer than scar did

— yeah, she’s cute, but everyone thinks she’s cute—she’s a sentient doll, she’s meant to be cute. not a big deal, right?

— but then season eight rolls around. and scar and dolly are hanging out with him, and dolly is laughing at something so hysterically (which is really unlike the ball of anxiety she usually is/was during her first season) and cub just thinks that he…wouldn’t mind dolly being so relaxed and giggly like that all the time, especially if it was mostly around him and scar

— and then while he’s watching her come down from her fit, cub calmly realizes that he’s a little fucked.

— dolly on the other hand, has always somewhat felt like she had a crush on cub but she never felt like he would like her romantically, and she was already pretty happy with scar, so she quickly forgot about it if that makes sense

— and then there’s scar who is absolutely smitten with both of them /j

— also don’t ask about how they get together. it’s some time after the season eight moon crash but don’t ask how

— cub really balances out dolly’s anxiety i think. he’s normally so calm and able to go with the flow when plans are either ruined or unexpectedly changed, and dolly usually isn’t, so i think sometimes he’s able to ground her when her nerves get too bad

— i don’t think cub is as physically affectionate as scar is, but it’s not like he’ll shy away from it all the way. if they want to cuddle or kiss he won’t say no, but it’s rare that he initiates it

— he’s more of an act’s of service man i feel. he does her storage system almost every season and refuses to let her pay him for it even when she can

— both cub and scar like to tag team dolly much to her dismay. they both find it funny to tease her and laugh when she threatens to kick them out

— dolly is used to scar’s habit of biting, and it never crossed her mind that cub could also bite. it also never crossed her mind that unlike scar, cub bites like he means it and his teeth are sharp

— as you all know, dolly’s favorite hobby is stealing her boyfriend’s clothes so many times cub has been looking for his lab coat only to find dolly lounging with it on

— once again none of them thought to let the hermits know that they were dating post season eight. dolly was too nervous to bring it up, scar assumed that he already told someone/everyone already knew, and cub never had a chance to bring it up

[ohdollydarling]

dolly darling can act batshit insane whenever she wants and her husband will just sigh dreamily like ‘oh….isn’t she beautiful :)))’ while every other hermit stares in horror

[ohdollydarling]

scar who carries dolly in a bridal/princess carry whenever he can vs cub who ninety percent of the time just (gently) throws it over their shoulder and keeps it pushing

[ohdollydarling]

2 and 12!! For condoll or dollvex :) both are equally cute <33

2 — would it be embarrassing if i said dolly’s room…it’s her safe place and it’s sort of fused into her husband’s safe place too. she usually has everything in there! pillows, blankets, snacks, drinks, tv, dvds, coffee maker, tea bags, kettle…she could bunker down in there for months and not need to come out. and her bed is large enough for the three of them! it’s really a space where they all feel a hundred percent comfortable :)

12 — i honestly don’t think so? i’m trying to think of what they could want to achieve and i just think they are focusing on the present for now. if i think of anything i’ll edit this post but i can’t think of anything right now 😞