Here in the Philippines, there was this gag show called "Wow Mali". That show streams at night—probably 8pm or close to 10pm. Fuck, I can't remember.
But, there was this ONE specific episode where they prank people with a fake dead body that's inside a luggage.
When I was watching this show, I was probably 3 or 4, I can't remember, but I was a kid that time. So, imagine how I reacted when I saw that one specific episode!
The body looked real and what's worse is that the fake dead body was chopped!!!!
It didn't help that it was aired at night! So, whenever I tried to go to a dark room or see a suspicious luggage that's left in a public area, or outside a neighbor's house because they're going to throw it away, I am batshit terrified because what if that thing has a dead body in it!?
I had an unhealthy obsession with scp 049 when I was 10-12, It got so bad that when my parents were searching for a vid to watch on youtube the search "scp 049 voice lines appeared" and once my mom saw it SHE JUST DID THAT CHEEZY "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!???" THING TEENS DO IN HOLLYWOOD MOVIES WHEN THEY FIND OUT THE NEW KID HAS A CRUSH ON A BOY, I immediately ran to the bed and screamed at her to turn that searched off😭 I kept searching and listening to his voice to the point where it automatically popped up whenever I typed the word "s". I remember this so vividly I cringed while remembering this obsession, "It will hurt less if you lie still" had me ill for years that man is the blame for my taste in cartoon men
Not in the "xyz user didn't make a wheelchair user OC !!1!" way, because literally nobody is forced to have disabled characters. In fact, I, a disabled person could not care less- sure, I would love to see more disabled characters but that's when I make them myself.
But toyhouse users (not all, obviously) are ableist firstly against photosensitive epileptics; I'm clarifying specifically for the rare photosensitive ones, because most people with epilepsy don't have seizures from bright colours or flashing lights. I get it, you like your aesthetic. Don't have flashing colours & lights on your warning page or use css that will make it affect the warning page?? It's not a "oh, wowee, you must be so sensitive" people can die, Jimmy! (Though it is rare. Don't treat every epileptic like they can't handle bright things. It's still only 3%, but it's a serious 3%)
Next is ableism against autism. Yes, even other autistic people can be ableist against other autistics. Not everyone has low support needs. Some people like their characters to portray them, and then the character gets insulted for "infantilising autism".. while yes, that's a serious issue, sometimes it's clearly not infantilising and that's just an autistic character with higher support needs. There's a difference.
I can list so many ways I've seen ableism normalized on toyhouse but this ask is getting long so I'm cutting it short with the main 2 that I see most often
I guess this is more of a confession post, but when I was a kid I shipped Gaurence out of guilt because I didn't have any queer ships at the time. I was in middle school and typically shipped whatever was made canon, so even though I was a diehard Garmau shipper, the second Aarmau was made canon, I hopped on board. (I shipped Einmau briefly during PDH season 2, but that's a story for another time lol) Anywho, as I got older I started actually paying attention to character dynamics and I got really into Vyladlence, and no it's like my ride or die mlm ship in the series. I also got really into MCD Gaaron and Zoeymau, so I guess 11/12 year old me is free from the guilt of not having any gay Aphmay ships lol. Uh, the moral of the story is, ship whatever the hell you want and if your ships change over the years it's not a moral failing
a/n: it’s finally here! I really needed to write this, above all else, and it’s finally done! I think I’m happy with this, and I hope you will be as well!:)
before! › here! › after! › …
-direct continuation of AntagonizeThyCaptain-
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Baji really dug himself into a hole this time. A deep, deep hole that he wasn’t sure how to claw his way out of quite yet.
He’d honestly expected to have to run to catch up to you and Chifuyu, given how long he’d taken to gather his senses. However, before he even had the chance to make it down the last story of apartment stairs, he came to a skidding halt; all because he could hear the familiar sniffling of suppressed sobs. Your sobs.
He’d recognized them anywhere.
You rarely cried, in front of him, at least. He’d only ever caught you one other time, after an argument you’d had with your family about one of your grades slipping to a B+. It was a brutal argument, one that ruined your confidence for a while.
Yet despite your lack of confidence, Baji was always there to talk you up and tell you how amazing you were. He’d always been by your side, willing to hear out your every insecurity, and offer his shoulder to cry on.
Baji had always been a rock who kept you sturdy and grounded. It didn’t make any sense why he’d act like this now, after all his reassurance.
“I just…. Wish I knew what I did wrong, th-this time…” you strained holding back a hiccup. “H-he’s… never treated me lik-like that before…”
You sniffled, and took a deep breath to calm your trembling.
Baji bit the inside of his cheek so hard, he could taste the iron seeping onto his tongue. How could he let his own insecurities hurt you so deeply? You hadn’t done anything wrong. Yet the way he chose to ignore and dismiss you so blatantly…
“Don’t think of it like that! You didn’t do anything wrong Y/n!” Chifuyu called out, a little louder than the neighbors would have liked.
Baji’s heart squeezed at the sight of someone else offering you the comforting words he so desperately wanted to weave into your ego. Peeking over the staircase just a bit, he saw your back hunched over while sitting on one of the lower steps, and Chifuyu sitting sideways on the step just below you, desperately trying his best to keep his hands to himself.
Chifuyu desperately wanted to reach out his hand, to hold your own, and bleed his true feelings out into words.
But he knew better than anyone that Baji didn’t mean any of what he’d said—or rather, didn’t say—to you earlier.
“Please don’t take Baji’s actions to heart… I think, I said something I shouldn’t have…” he looked down pitifully. “On our way back from the corner store, I tried pushing him to admit something he wasn’t ready to accept yet. I… backed him into a corner, and gave him the wrong idea. Maybe it was on purpose, but…” Chifuyu slowly looked up, feeling his heart break at how sad your tear stained face looked back at him. “I’m sorry… you didn’t deserve to be used for that.”
You blinked back at him curiously, wiping your face frantically. “I… don’t think I understand.” You admitted. Chifuyu wasn’t sure how much he should admit. So, at a loss for words, he averted his gaze.
Catching the feint outline of Baji’s blown out hair and aggressive stance, Chifuyu sighed, almost defeated. ‘He’s finally came to his senses, huh…’
Had he hoped Baji would keep tumbling over his feelings for you in his room longer? So he could have this moment with you? Maybe persuade you that he was the better man? He didn’t really think that, but he’d hoped, maybe, you might…
“That’s okay… I’m sure Baji would be better at explaining it than I would, anyway.” Chifuyu offered you one last sincere smile, laying a hand on your arm for a last ditch effort of comfort, wishing for the last time that you might reach out and take it, ask him not to go… he desperately wanted to hear you say those words. To look at him with the same eyes you’d been starting longingly at Baji with the entire night…
But he’d knew he lost that chance a long time ago, when your eyes widened with anticipation, as you looked back and wishfully caught Baji’s unreadable expression.
“Get home safe, Y/n…” Chifuyu all but whispered, as he retracted his hand and stepped up the staircase slowly in way to his own apartment.
In passing, Baji halted Chifuyu with an earnest, “Thanks…”
Chifuyu paused only for a moment, and gave his best friend an encouraging punch to the shoulder. “Don’t take her for granted like that again, got it? … Treat her nicer from now on, or else.” Chifuyu half threatened, weaved in with a joking tone. Baji didn’t know what ‘else’ could possibly mean, but he wasn’t eager to find out.
After Chifuyu made it up to the second flight, Baji deemed it safe to step his way down to the bottom of the stair case.
He’d walked past you, and sat two steps below, back facing toward you. It was quiet for a minute, the moment swept up in the sound of night crickets and quiet traffic in the distance.
You weren’t sure how to break the silence. It felt pitiful being caught in this situation in the first place. Had you just accepted what happened, and made your way home like you said you would, the hot heat of embarrassment wouldn’t be eating up your neck right now. If only you hadn’t taken his temper so personally, maybe you two could have pretended like it’d never happened. Avoid this awkward tension all together.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted back there, Y/n.” Baji spoke clearly and forward. “I really am. I shouldn’t have taken out how I was feeling against you like I had.” It took a lot, and I mean a lot, of strength for him to be able to admit that.
Admitting his mistakes was a hell of a lot harder than deflecting them.
You knew this better than most.
You tried to hold it back, but a smile crept its way across your face at this admission of defeat. For once, someone was willing to admit you weren’t the one at fault for their own actions. It felt good, hearing those words.
“Thank you.” You said quietly, slipping down a step, to better rest your forehead against the wide of his back affectionately.
Baji stiffened at this act, unsure of what to do or say next. His face was hot with embarrassment, and all the valiant words he had thought up went right out the window.
He couldn’t deny this feeling pounding against his chest this time. You were surely to hear his heartbeat at this distance. Shit. Was he actually ready to admit what he’s been feeling? Now?
“So,” your whisper snapped him back to reality, lifting your head off his back, and replacing the pressure with a gentle hand. “What were you feeling, then?” You asked.
Baji was again at a loss for words. It took him a while to gather the words he wanted to say, but you sat there patiently. You would wait for hours if it meant that The Baji Keisuke would finally honestly open up about what he was really thinking.
“I… think I like you…” he sighed reluctantly, covering his face with his hands. “It’s stupid. I know I shouldn’t feel this way. You…. You’re so… good. You’ve never looked at me with judgement; you scold me for being dishonest, and have encouraged me to be better, when you should have given up on me long ago… I can’t, stop thinking about… about how… I want to see you… I want to hear you praise me for my achievements… I want you to smile at me for no reason, to hold my hand, to listen to music with you, listen to you rant about your new favorite manga. I want…” Baji caught himself tongue tied, the red hot embarrassment of admitting all this choked him to a halt. But the emotions kept sweeping over him. Like word vomit, he couldn’t stop now that he’d started.
“I want to be by your side. I always want to be the one you go to when you cry, when you feel burdened, or happy. I want you to share everything you feel with me, and I want to… feel those things with you. I…” Baji bit his lip harshly. “I know… I’m not the best choice of guys out there. I’m hard-headed and brash. I lose my tempter too quickly, and I can’t promise I can change those things about me right now, but… I want to try. At least, I want to try being a little bit smarter. You deserve to be with someone who can take care of you, forever. Even if it means one day I have to give up fighting, one day, I think, I can be that person… I hope.” He said unsure. “Well, I can’t really promise I can stop fighting people, there’s still lots of people I want to beat the shit out of, your dad for one…” he mumbled that last part, but didn’t falter. “I can’t promise to be anyone other than who I am, but I do promise that… if you can accept me…” Baji turned, sat on his knee to be face to face with you now.
“I promise from the bottom of my heart, I will never hurt you like I did today. I won’t let anyone disrespect you, or talk down to you ever again. You’ll always know my true feelings, and no matter what,” Baji hesitantly reached his hand out to take yours. “I’ll cherish you everyday, and prove that you were right not to give up on me..!“
You cut Baji off suddenly, fat tears rolling down your cheek. You threw your arms over his shoulders and almost topped him backward into the pavement with hard harshly you embraced him. “S-stop..! M-my heart, I don’t think it can take anymore!” You babbled between giggles, and hid your face in his shoulder. “You’ve said enough… I understand…” you breathed out shakily, unable to control your rapid heartbeat.
Baji was successfully shut up, all the confidence he’d built up to confess his feelings suddenly shattered with your earnest squeeze.
Together, you both took control of your rapid heartbeats and sat in mutual silence. Seconds pass, and before a minute could sweep past, you finally pulled away to stare into Baji’s wishful gaze. You smiled at him with the biggest, warmest smile he had ever seen in his life. “Baji, I love you… I love you so much.” You admitted, and took his face into your cold hands.
“I love who you are, as you are. I think you’re cool when you’re in the middle of a fight. I love the way victory looks on you, the pride you have in your strength, the joy it brings you…”
“I love how much you care about everyone, even if they don’t notice it… the way you’re always looking out for everyone, and protecting them without them even knowing it.”
“I love when you’re honest, and bashful. The way you smile so sincerely at Peke when he curls into your lap. The way you scream when things don’t go your way.”
“Everything that makes you who you are… I love it. Just the way you are…”
Baji felt all the tension leave his body upon hearing your words. He could finally stop holding back the urge to say these words. He could finally be honest, without worrying about scaring you away.
Slowly, he began to chuckle. Low at first, and building up til he was laughing wholeheartedly. He wrapped his arms around your ribcage, spun you around and held you closer. You both twirled a few times like this before stepping off onto flat ground, happily starting off into each other’s eyes.
“You mean it..?” Baji asked in a whisper. You nodded back enthusiastically. “I mean it. And… you’re sure that..” you trailed off, unsure of what you meant to say next. But Baji understood. He rested his palm over your cheek, and leaned in close. “I’m sure. I want to be with you. So,” he smirked, and rested his forehead on yours.
“You’re sayin’ you want to be my girl?”
You blushed harshly, yet you couldn’t look away. Softly, you nodded into his palm, leaning closer still. “I… do.”
Baji was over the mood, and laughed happily. “I’m so glad…” he sighed, softening his intense gaze. “Then, it’d be okay if I kissed you, right?”
Blushing harsher still, you looked away just for a moment, then back again.
Instead of a verbal response, you used your tip-toes to hoist yourself up the necessary few inches to gently push your soft lips onto his own chapped ones. While taken by surprise at first, Baji quickly reciprocated your act.
Closing his eyes, he pulled you in closer, til it felt like you were melting into each other.
You felt weightless, swept up in his arms like you should have been a long ago. Having been swept up in that passion, after holding back against it for so long, neither of you could stop after the first kiss.
Again and again, your lips met in a series of pecks that felt sweet and childish, compared to how adult you thought the act would initially be.
Over and over again, neither of you knew when the next kiss would be the last, when the other would pull for just one more.
All the while, Chifuyu watched from two floors above, head slack against his arms resting on the balcony.
It hurt. He knew it was fated. Yet some small part of Chifuyu wished it was him, not Baji… Even though he knew it was all so delusional, it didn’t stop a single stray tear. The fresh sting of pain welled inside him again after he heard you two giggling so happily.
This was fate. You were happy. And no matter how many nights it would take to forget this feeling, he would be sure to enthusiastically give his blessing to you two… tomorrow.
