#connor calderone

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YOU DID WHAT!?

[connorcalderone-blog]

Late...Again.

Why are people always late? Prepare yourself because this is about to be the most obnoxious rant yet. Let's just say you have a friend named Katie and Katie thinks its ok to show up late to anything and everything. If you say 'Be there by 5:00, you can be sure that that bitch will arrive at 5 fucking 31.

Hypothetically speaking, let's pretend you were starving and really just wanted a burger from the mother fucking dining hall. You kindly remind Kaite that she is always late and would love if she could try really hard to get there on time. You lug yourself up the dining hall in the freezing cold with the friggin' wind blowing in your face and your lips are so chapped that they feel like they are going to fall right off your face and all you can think about is how great that first bite of that warm, juicy burger is going to taste. You get to the doors and decide to call Katie to see where she is. She answers the phone with a cheery, innocent response, 'I'm almost there! I promise!.' You decide to wait because you are such a good friend. 10 minutes pass and you start getting impatient. You call Katie again and ask in the most sweetest way possible, 'Where are ya darlin'?' and she responds, 'Oh I'm sorry! I'm leaving my dorm now.' Your heart sinks and you feel like you might not make it through the day because you are so fucking hungry. Against your better judgement, you decide to follow your stomach's desires and go into the dining hall. 20 minutes later, that bitch Katie decides to come strollin' in with a confused look on her face. 'Why didn't you wait for me?' she asks so fucking innocently. Well bitch, if you really need to know, while you were taking your mother fucking time preparing your stupid hair to look as fucking perfect as fucking humanly possible, I was standing all alone in the freezing cold trying to convince myself that I wasn't going to die of starvation. When you told me so kindly that you were just leaving your dorm, I decided that it was high time to get some grub because personally, I don't think I could have made it another 5 seconds. So for your information, you are a life ruiner and we are no longer friends.

Bye.

Connor Calderone

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Don't make me ask you again...

I don't know about you, but when I was little (and by little, I mean that it still happens) my parents ALWAYS used to say "Don't make me ask you again..." when I didn't do something the first, second, third, fourth... etc. time they asked me. Now that I am older and super mature, I have 2 things to say to this. 

1. If you are going to force me to do something, then why ask? 

2. I can't make you do anything. You learn that in first grade for goodness sake. 

Looking at the first point, if someone 'asks' you to do wash the dishes, doesn't that mean you have a choice? When we were kids they would tell you to ask to borrow your friends awesome fire truck and not to just take it and if they said 'no' then that was that and you had to wait. All I can say is that if you are going to ask me to do something that requires me to do any kind of physical labor, you can expect the first thing out of my mouth to be 'Fuck no.'

On to the second point. This one really drives me crazy because when I would always use the excuse 'They made me do it!' and then my parents would reply in the most bitchiest tone I had ever heard 'They can't make you do anything.' Do you see why I am confused? I have always been told that people can't "make" each other do anything, and now they are trying to tell me that all the sudden I have all this power to make them "ask me again?"

All I can say is 'what the fuck?' and please let me know if I am completely blowing this out of proportion because I really don't think I am, but I very well could be. 

Till next time,

Connor Calderone

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My *Very* First Blog Post

Ok, so when I was first brought into this world I didn't have any knowledge of the technological advances that the world had made nor did I care. Well I didn't have much knowledge of anything, but especially not the world of the internet. I finally made a Twitter and discovered the awesomeness that it held and have now moved on to the magical land of Tumblr. I guess the purpose of this*first* blog post is to introduce myself and explain the intentions of this blog. 

First things first: My name is Connor Champine, I am 19 years young, in college, and LOVE Lady Gaga. The only reason I include the last part of that sentence is to act as more of a warning than anything. I definitely consider myself a Little Monster and I believe in the power they have in changing the world. With that being said, this blog will be unconventional in some ways in order to symbolize the revolutionary potential we have. One of the most important things to realize is that everyone has the ability to make a change and everyone makes this change in different ways. Some people attend every single community gathering that ever existed and others sit at their computers and blog about problems that they are too lazy to fix. Obviously, I have chosen the latter because I am one lazy ass mother fucker. Well that's sort of half true I guess. But, on a more serious note, I really do think that change can manifest itself in many ways and people chose different ways to bring about that change. 

Now, the previous paragraph may seem a bit sappy and let me just tell you; this is where it ends. This blog is going to be full of meaningless posts and ridiculous rants that might just send me and you both over the edge. All I ask of you is to sit back, relax, and enjoy because in the end, I can't reach through the screen and punch you square in the face for not liking what I wrote and you can't do that either so we might as well just be friends.

I am very open to criticism and would love to hear your ideas on things you would like me to talk about! I look forward to meeting all of you and if you make a lot of noise, I might even start vloging! 

Till next time,

Connor Calderone