“Jared don’t snapachat this!” Connor Murphy x reader
concept: Connor is getting out the hospital and Cynthia blames you for his suicide attempt.
warnings: swearing, suicide mention, and slight make out ;)
(also not proof read, sorry sorry)
A week without connor, the closest person to you.
He was finally home, and despite Cynthia’s wishes you made a vow to go see him. You waited too long not to. You still remembered the time you tried to go see him.
You could smell the hospital from miles away. The thick scent of death and decay. You tried to keep a smile as you walked down the hall. You Tried to ignore the people in a the rooms you passed. You did all you could to make this about seeing connor and nothing else.
As soon as you entered the room, you could see his family in his room. You knocked slowly, laying some flowers down on his lap. Your Heart broke at the sight of him helpless in the hospital bed. His features still looked so elegant under the florescent hospital lights. Even though he looked so helpless he looked so beautiful.
Zoe hugged you speaking softly “Thanks for coming.” you hugged Evan and made your way to greet Mrs.Murphy. Instantly her expression changed from sorrow to rage.
“I want you out.” she said not even looking at you. You backed up slowly looking at a shocked Zoe. Mr. Murphy brought his hand to the bridge of his nose.
“Cynthia, we’re going to talk about this when Connor is better.”
“No we arent. Youre not allowed anywhere near my son!” she said pointing at you.
“No. you think it’s funny that you were the only person he mentioned in the note? You were the one who caused all of this, regardless of what anyone else here thinks.” she said raising her tone a bit. Up until this point,all you knew was that connor tried to kill himself, you knew nothing of a note or anything in it.
You held back tears as you slowly left the room. You waved bye to connor as if he was conscience and made your way out the hospital.
You waited all day for Cynthia to leave the house. You knew showing up to see Connor while she was there was a no go. As soon as her car left you made your way to the front door. Of course it was locked.
You made your way to the back of the house and climbed through the small basement window. The thick dust of old photographs and keepsakes filled the air. Your hands caked with dust as you closed the window seal. You wiped your hands on your pants and made your way up creaking stairs.
You checked one more time to make sure the coast was clear before walking to Connor’s room.
You gulped as you clutched the doorknob and entered. His back was turned so it was facing you.
“Mom.. i don’t need anything.” he said not bothering to see who it really was.
Usually the room was dark with only a small lamp on a bedside table on. Black clothing scattered across the floor. It wasn’t clean, but not dirty either. Just a perfect mix of messy and slightly organized.
However,it seemed as if cynthia took the time to clean his while he was away. The curtains were pulled open, and there was no trace of mess or clutter anymore.
The best part was his bed. It was constant. covered in dark colored sheets and puffy blankets. You wasted no time jumping into it. Wrapping your arms around the boys body. Sinking into him.
“(y/n)..?” he said turning around facing you. He clutched you close to his chest.
“I missed you.” he said sinking in your hair.
“I missed you too. Your mom wouldn’t let me see you.” he stroked your hair and began apologizing.
“Connor it’s not your fault that your mom cares.”
“Well it’s not her fault i’m fucked up either”
You pulled away to cup his face. “You’re not fucked up” you said looking him dead in the eyes. “Then why can’t i be fixed?” he said finally starting to cry.
“Nobody can fix you because you aren’t broken. You have depression, a chemical imbalance. Nobody can fix you, but we can all be here when you have a bad day. I can’t keep you here, even if i want you here” a tear dropped down your cheek softly. “I know you’re going threw some shit nobody really gets, so i won’t ask you to promise me you’ll stay alive or quit smoking, but promise you’ll talk to me next time”
You felt him bring your body closer to him. “I love you” he spoke, the words sounding like honey leaving his lips. Each smooth word imprinting on the red coating your face.
“I promise” he said smiling. The first smile you’ve seen in awhile.
He kissed you softly, placing his hands on your cheeks.
You couldn’t help but giggle at the boy holding your face.
You both jumped at the sound of the front door opening. You tried sliding out the bed, only to be held back by the arm snaked around your waist.
“Con!” you yelled as he pulled you back. Holding you firmly from behind. He beath on your neck. You could feel him press his lip against it slightly. He planted soft kisses as you felt the air get heavy again.
“Con.. that could be your mom- your mom hates me, i think she would hate me more if she knew i broke in to see her son-” you gasped as his hand snaked under your shirt.
“Don’t go.. I missed you~” he sang just behind your ear. You giggled again blushing against him.
Just as connor pulled you onto his lap, the door flung open.
“Connor how are you- OH LORD” Zoe spoke covering Evans eyes.
Evan practically died as Jared pulled out his phone “Please continue” he said opening snapchat.
“Jared put the phone away or im gunna make you swallow it”
