Been awhile since I’ve written for Connor, here you go!
Space | Connor Brashier
Connor’s been extremely busy since he’s come home from tour with Shawn. He’s been almost as busy as he was on tour.
Collabing with David Dobrik. Connecting with Madison and planning future projects. Filming a music video with Kygo. Meetings with Shawn’s team about new music and the docu from tour.
You’ve seen him just about as much as you did while he was on tour. The difference being, you share a home, and he is actually home. Well most of the time. While with David he hopped a flight to Vegas and didn’t tell you until after he had arrived. He’s traveled to Canada for meetings and to see Brian. Never once thinking to invite you.
“I’m busy, what the fuck do you want me to do about it?” He spits, eyes glued to his phone.
You actually wonder if his eyes are still blue, because you can’t remember the last time he looked up from his phone long enough for you to be able to focus on the color. Soon they have to turn into a screen themselves right?
“Take a break? It is a human thing to do.” You mutter, washing up the dinner dishes.
“I don’t need to though. You’re just being fucking needy.”
You look down into the sink, swallowing back the tears trying to escape you. He’s been so moody lately, and you think it’s because he spends all of his time in front of a screen. It has to pent up some energy there, cause mood changes. You just happen to be the constant in his line of fire.
“No response?” He snides, standing up, thumb tapping at his phone rapidly. “Cool.” He rolls his eyes, turning and walking out of the room. You stare after him, shaking your head.
What were you still doing here? He obviously doesn’t seem to want you anymore. You can not pinpoint the last time you remember being in bed together at the same time. Or when he touched you last. He’s constantly telling you that you bother him, and get in his way. Now suddenly you’re ‘fucking needy’ for simply wanting to know if he’d be home this weekend. It wasn’t like you were sticking your plans on him, you literally just wanted to know.
You set the plate you’re holding down, turning the sink off before drying off your hands. You’re over it. At this point you’re more hurt in this relationship than you are happy, so why were you fighting when he isn’t. You’re actually just fighting against him, and you’re tired.
You pass his office, noticing he left the door open for once. What you don’t see is how he leans over to see you from around his monitor screen. His brows furrow when he watches you wipe your cheek.
He listens as you reach into the closet and pull your luggage out. He goes back to what he was editing, that is until you walk past again, this time pulling your suitcase behind you.
His heart stops, and suddenly he can’t remember what you said to him during dinner. He can’t remember how he responded. So he gets up, walking into the hallway as you head to the bedroom.
“What are you doing?” He asks harshly, stalking after you.
You don’t respond, you just lug the suitcase up onto your once shared bed. He appears in the doorway when you flip the top up and open. He crosses his arms and leans against the doorframe.
“Are you going on a trip?” He asks, voice so detached almost as if he’s annoyed.
You ignore him, and the sharp pain ripping through your chest as you think about no longer being with him. You turn and open your drawer, pulling out all your panties and bras. You dump them into the bag and turn back for your next drawer.
“Gonna be gone long enough to need all of those?” He snickers, walking forward and sitting on the bed next to your bag.
You turn back, and almost stop at how close he is, but continue with all your camisoles and sports bras in hand. You settle them in the bag and make sure there’s room for your shirts and pants, as long as you have the things you need for work this week you can then have the time to figure out how to come back to get the rest of them.
His face scrunches as he watches you grab every shirt from your shirt drawer, leaving it empty as you hip check it closed. It all starts to click in his brain when you reach for your jeans.
“Hey,” He says, looking down into your bag and then back up at your heartbroken face. “What’s happening?” He says quickly, reaching for your hands. “What happened? Is everyone okay?”
It hurts you even more that he thinks you’re packing because someone’s hurt and needs you. Not that you’re hurt and don’t need him anymore.
You still won’t speak to him as you throw a few pairs of shoes into the bag, turning for a few books.
“Babe, what’s happening? Talk to me.” He stands, panicking a little. Watching you reach for your books tells him something is seriously wrong. “Where do we need to go? Your Moms? Grandpa?” He flounders, opening his closet and pulling a bag out as well.
“No Connor,” You croak. Stopping him in his tracks. “You don’t need to go anywhere, I do.”
“I can’t come?” He asks, stare going hard.
“No.”
“Care to explain why?” He sets his hands on his hips.
“Because I’m leaving.”
“You’re leaving?”
“I’m leaving you.” You look up at him from under your lashes, scared of his reaction.
“What?” He breathes out, voice so low that if you weren’t so accustomed to everything about him you probably wouldn’t have heard it.
“I can’t do it anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re unhappy.”
“Who said that?” He raises his voice, hands going to his hair. You flinch at the movement and turn to keep grabbing things, like your phone charger.
“You did.”
“No I didn’t.”
“You did Connor, earlier when you called me fucking needy. Yesterday when you told me I was bothering you. Last week when I was ‘in the way’ while you were setting up to edit. When you stopped coming to bed. When you started traveling and saw what your life could be. What your life should be. When you realized that I hold you back from what you want.”
“That’s not fucking true, you’re what I want.”
“No Connor I’m not. And you’ve made that blatantly clear. So just give me a few minutes to get some essentials and I’ll be out of your way for awhile. And the next time you go out of town, probably this weekend, I’ll come back and get the rest of my things and you’ll have what you want. You just have to give me a little time to pack up my life.”
His eyes are watering with tears, heart breaking at the fact that he actually made feel like he doesn’t want you.
“No, I don’t want that. I want your life, here, with me. Please, don’t do this.”
“You’ll be okay,” You sniffle, turning and jumping at how close he is now. Practically chest to chest. “Me? I’ll learn to be okay, I love you Connor. And if I don’t make you happy anymore then I love you enough to let you go so you can be.”
“Stop, please.” He sobs, “I don’t want that. I want you, you make me so happy. I’m living the best life I could because I have you. I didn’t mean any of those things. I’ve been stressed out, and so overworked. I don’t even remember saying those things. Please let me make it better.”
Your shoulders slump as you look at him. He’s crying in a way you’ve never seen before. You’ve been together for years, tears in front of each other have occurred. Usually for him it’s one of two cries. Hold me I’m sad, or, I’m not crying that’s dust in my eye. This though, this is a desperate cry. It’s like he can’t wrap his mind around what’s happening. He’s sobbing, can’t catch his breath as he babbles on and on.
“I love you, I love you so much. Please, please don’t do this.”
“Connor,” You coo, bringing a hand to his chest to get him to sit. He wraps his arms around your waist, never wanting to let go. “You need to calm down.”
“I can’t, I mean you’re leaving me.” He hiccups, rubbing his face on your stomach, leaving tears stains on the fabric of your shirt.
“I think we need a break.”
“No.” He whips his head up. “We promised to never do that, we promised.” He whines.
“We were different when we promised that.”
“How? How were we different?”
“We were in love then.”
His whole world crumbles around his, you watch every muscle in his face frown. “We’re not in love?” He wails.
“I love you Connor, and I know you love me. But we’re not the same couple we used to be. We don’t try anymore. If you can count this as a hug then I think this is the 2nd time you’ve hugged me since you’ve come home. We don’t try and fight for the other any more. We don’t try to flirt or really show our love because we’ve become reliant on the fact that we do love each other. While what we need is to show the other we care. I’ve failed too, it’s on the both of us. So let’s take some time, give some distance and see if we can find that couple again.”
“I don’t want you to leave, I’ll stay in the guest room if you want space. Just don’t leave.”
“No Connor, we need more space than that.”
“Please, I’ll make it better just don’t leave.”
“I’ll call you in the morning, before I leave for work.” You sigh, prying his hands off and reaching for your suitcase. After getting it zipped up and back on the ground you feel his hand wrap around your wrist.
“Let me take you out tomorrow. A date, like we used to. Let me make you fall in love with me again.” He pleads.
“Okay,” You smile, nodding at him.
He hesitates, but leans closer. “Can I kiss you?” He whispers.
You contemplate it, but in the end know you need him too. So you nod and hold back your own cry when his lips touch yours. It’s a kiss you haven’t had in awhile. It’s soft, and slow. Needy and desperate, but all the love you haven’t felt in so long.
You haven’t even left yet, but the space is working. You know you’ll be back in this room soon enough. This time with your lover with you.
This is heavily unedited, but I needed to post something. So here you go!
You were having an insecure moment. It stemmed from the dream you had last night while you slept alone in his bed for the second night in a row. This dream leading you to have insecure thoughts and doubts about what Connor was feeling.
Connor was CEO of his Production Company and lately, after having produced one of the biggest names in the music industry documentary, business was booming. With interest and projects rapidly flying through his office Connor has become extremely stressed and busy. He can’t even remember the last time he truly had a down moment, with himself or spent with you.
His new assistant Sam has slowly become your best friend. With the amount of times you’re in contact with Sam to figure out Connor’s schedule, and see if you can talk to him between meetings, or the times Sam’s called you for Connor’s holiday schedule.
Everything in Connor’s world seems to be growing and moving a thousand miles a minute, while you’re at a standstill in the corner. You’re in a small selling slump at work. It’s slowly getting closer to holiday time which means every now and then your store has a big sale, but it’s still pretty slow.
You woke up from your nightmare last night still accompanied by cold sheets. It was almost 4 am and Connor still hasn't come home. Sam had called you earlier telling you that Connor should be off at a decent hour and Connor would like for you to be at his place. You weren’t shocked by 11 pm that you were still alone and getting ready for bed.
Your nightmare consisted of Connor’s newest client Madison, the most perfect girl you’d ever seen, and him having some sort of attraction which was causing his late nights. This girl was everything you felt you were. She had the perfect ‘Barbie’ face, skinny body, long legs, long straight hair. When you saw a picture of her and Connor gushing about the music video she wants him to shoot and produce you had a moment of jealousy that you quickly pushed to the dark side of your brain. It seems that’s where you dreams are held, because it’s all you’ve been able to see lately when you shut your eyes for the night.
It seems to be the only dream you can dream when your at Connor’s. Leading you to just stay awake for the rest of the night not wanting to have any visions of Connor with any other girl, dream or not. It broke your heart more and more and slowly made you question everything.
So for a change, and a test in your theories, you headed back to your own apartment after work. Dragging your tired body into the cold home, shivering as you flip the heat and light a candle.
You had done a lot for the night by the time you were ordering pasta and waiting on your delivery. You completed laundry, dishes, cleaned up the bathroom, changed your sheets and reorganized your lotions and perfumes into a cute little display on top of your dresser.
You jumped a bit as your phone started ringing disturbing the nice silence you were in. You picked up the device, shocked to see that it was Connor’s name running across your screen. He hasn’t called you in days, usually making Sam do it for him. You actually haven’t spoken to him at all today, and it was just then that you noticed that you hadn’t. No texts, no voicemails, no stupid memes through Insta.
“Hello?” You answered, weary that he might just be butt dialling you.
“Baby?”
“Um yeah?” Your brows furrowed.
“Where are you?” He asked.
“Home?” You responded, confused at his sudden interest.
“No, you’re not here.”
“I’m at my home.”
“Did Sam not call you this morning?”
“He did.” You nod, remembering Sam’s call about Connor wanting you to be at his tonight.
“So…?”
“Well it wasn’t the first time I’d had that request this week, and frankly I didn’t believe him when he said you’d be off at a decent hour.”
Connor doesn’t respond for a moment, and you bite your lip nervously while you wait.
“Can I come over then? I’m off tonight, and I wanna see you Baby. I missed you.”
“Um sure, if you’d like.”
“I’d love to.” You feel like you can hear his smile. “Have you eaten? Can I bring you dinner?”
“I ordered pasta, it should be here soon.”
“Oh.” He responds, knowing that you hate ordering food because you despise the awkward interaction of answering the door and taking your food from someone else. “Wanna change it to pick up and I’ll get it on my way?”
“No I’m okay.”
Connor stands dumbfounded in his living room. You were at your apartment, he couldn’t remember the last time you’d actually stayed at your place, you practically lived with him. You were ordering yourself food, and not asking him to get it for you.
“Okay well I’ll see you 10?”
“Okay.”
“I love you.”
“Mhm.” You hung up on him.
Connor stared at his phone in awe when his phone beeped at him and the call ended. He knew something was wrong. That he’d done something wrong, or that you were upset about something and that left him feeling a bit anxious. He wasn’t paying attention to what he was packing all he knew was that he was throwing clothes into a bag and was out the door on his way to your place within minutes of your phone call.
He actually ended up beating your delivery driver.
“Hi Baby.” He greeted when you opened the door for him.
“Hi.” You smiled, allowing him to kiss your cheek and hug you loosely.
He watched with curious eyes as you shut the door behind him and tidied up the shoe bin by the door. You were putting a pair of flats away in your closet when someone knocked at your door. Connor answered for you and took your bag of food, paying for it and the tip. He was just shutting the door when you walked back out.
“Oh, here let me get my wall-”
“I got it Baby.” He smiled, walking past you to the kitchen to get you all dished up.
You watched him as he unboxed your meal, transferring the food from the plastic containers to your plates. He set your food down on the table and held the chair out for you with a cute little smile. You simply took a seat and dug into your food as he sat across from you.
“Y/n?” He whispered when you refused to make eye contact with him.
“Hmm?”
“What’s wrong?”
You looked up with big eyes and stared at him. “What?”
“What’s wrong? What happened? Why weren’t you at my place tonight?”
“I wanted to come home.”
“But, I’m sorry if I’m jumping the gun here, but I thought that my place was home?” He asks softly, reaching for your hand.
You let him take it, and stare at his thumb that rubs soothingly back and forth across your knuckles.
“Baby?” He whispers.
What he doesn’t expect is for you to look up with tearful eyes and a deep frown splayed across your mouth.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” He rushes to crouch next to you, holding both of your hands.
“I had a nightmare.” Is all you can sob out.
He reaches out and pulls you from the chair down into his lap so he can hold you tightly.
“When?”
“Everyday this week.”
“Oh Baby.” He coos, rocking you back and forth. “What was it about?”
“You.” You sob into his shoulder, shuddering breaths in and out.
“Me?” He pulls back to make eye contact with you.
“You-you-you-you”
“Breathe Baby.”
“You” You take a deep breath, “You didn’t want me anymore, you wanted-wanted-wanted- Madison.”
All the wind has been knocked from Connor’s lungs. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Baby,” He sighs, “Of course I want you. I only want you. I love you.”
You just sob harder. “I was becoming worried that maybe you were bored, that you didn’t want to be with me anymore. That you were staying late at the office because you didn’t want to go home. So I thought maybe I’d just go back to mine so you could finally go back to yours.”
“Y/n L/n.” Connor holds your face so you have to look at him. “I am not bored.” He shakes his head. “I want to be with your forever. I was staying late at the office because I wanted to get done with Madison’s video so I could be done with her business and let one of the new investors take her business.” He explains. “I thought the quicker I could get it done the quicker I could be with you, and you wouldn’t have to worry about her. Even though there’s nothing to worry about. I only will ever have eyes for you.” He smiles, kissing your nose softly. “Baby, if I had it my way there wouldn’t be a ‘your place’ or a ‘my place’ there would only be ‘our place’ because I absolutely hate coming home to an apartment that you’re not in.”
You pout at him, staring at his eyes, trying to read his expression.
“I want you Babygirl.” He whispers. “I’ll only ever want you. I promise you that.”
“Yeah?”
“I have-” He sighs. “I have the weekend set up for us to look at houses. It was supposed to be a surprise but you need to know how committed I am to you. I have the first place booked for 9 tomorrow morning.”
“Connor.”
“And there will always be an ‘us’ because the future for us is coming sooner than you think.” He makes a show of kissing your left ring finger.
“Connor David.” You sit up straight.
“Yes ma’am, this won’t be bare for long.”
“Stop.” You cover his mouth, groaning in disgust when he licks your palm.
“I’m just trying to tell you how I am here for you. And how you don’t ever need to dream about me leaving you for someone else. I’m yours, you’re mine. That’s all we need to be okay. No matter where we are, what we’re doing, where we’re going, as long as we’re together then we’ll be okay. I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” You smile, wiping your tears away.
“I’m sorry I made you doubt that. I’m sorry that I let you go to bed alone. I’m sorry that you felt like you couldn’t stay with me.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not, it’s not okay. I’ll work on making that up to you. Now you need to get and hydrate so I can prove to you all night long how sorry I am and how much I love you.”
“Connor.” You gasp when he lifts you up into your chair and pushes your plate closer.
“Eat while I get the tub ready.” He grins, leaving a hot kiss to your neck before walking away.
Oooh okay how about Connor introducing you to his friends for the first time and he's really nervous because they could very possibly say something stupid about him and how much he's talked about you lol... also hi, Bre! I love you! 💙
hi tori! i love you too! thank you so much for sending a prompt/idea in & hope you enjoy this little blurb!
“Bub, will you please calm down? How are you more nervous than I am?” You giggle sweetly, turning to look at Connor and squeezing his hand a little as he continues driving. “They’re your friends. I’m sure that I’ll get along with them so there’s no need to be worried.”
Connor just shakes his head in response and you catch the small smile that’s pulling at the corners of his lips. The afternoon sunlight is falling across his face perfectly and you can’t help but admire him for a moment. His blue eyes are sparkling, a look of happiness and your heart swells at the sight of him. You have only been together for about five months, but you swear you’ve never fallen harder for someone. Something about Connor from the start told you he’s the one.
And you are extremely lucky to call him yours.
Before he can say anything, you snap out of your thoughts and lean over the center console to press a warm kiss to his cheek. Blush immediately spreads over his skin at the small action. He rubs his thumb over your knuckles smoothly, making your breath hitch. The simplest moments like this reminded you how in love you are.
“No, it’s not that.” He speaks up, glancing at you before focusing back on the road. “They can just be stupid sometimes and I really have no idea what’s going to come out of any of their mouths while we’re hanging out.”
You knew meeting his friends for the first time was a big deal. These people mean everything to him and although he promises nothing will change if their opinions aren’t good, you’re anxious. He’s never brought many girls around so to be the first in a long time is already nerve wracking plus they all know when he introduces them to a girl, it’s getting serious. But you didn’t expect him to be just as nervous.
“Con, it’ll be fine. Nothing they say will make me rethink us or how I feel about you.”
“I hope so.” Connor chuckles softly, stopping at a red light. “Probably gonna get embarrassed like there’s no tomorrow with all the stories they have of me. But I’m just a little worried that they won’t take it seriously. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life and I don’t want their silly jokes or stupid comments to overpower the real reason you’re here.” He continues, lifting your intertwined hands so he can press a kiss to yours.
“They’ll know, I promise. It’s not everyday the Connor Brashier has a girl meet his friends.” You joke, making him laugh and grin which sends pure happiness rushing through your veins. “Besides, they’ve been your friends for long enough to know this means something. I love you so much.” You whisper with adoration before leaning in and kissing him deeply. Connor immediately responds and the rest of the world falls away for a few seconds.
Suddenly, a loud honk sounds from behind you and you both pull away in a fit of giggles.
“Stupid LA traffic not letting me love on my girl.” Connor says teasingly with an annoyed roll of his eyes, but pecks your lips one more time before pressing the gas. “I love you too, more than you’ll ever know. And I can’t wait for my very favorite person in the whole world to meet the idiots I call my best friends.” His laugh fills the car and you can’t help but smile at him.
Request: Something happening to one of his camera and him blaming you when it turns out to be coz of someone else
***
You were the one to put his camera and SD cards away. He had left it out on the bus before he left with the boys to go celebrate a great show in Nashville. You had opted out of going, having a slight headache and wanting to chance to call your mom and not have a bunch of boys talking about bullshit in the background.
So since he knew you were the one to put his things away, you were the first he blamed when he couldn’t find the SD card.
“Y/n, literally where did you put it.” He groaned.
“I put it in your back, in the little zipper compartment on the side like you show’d me.” You sighed, repeating yourself for the third time.
“It’s not in here!” He snapped.
You looked up from your book, no longer willing to let his frustration roll off you. “Well did you fucking move it this morning?” You spit out at him.
“No! I haven’t touched this bag all day, I haven’t touched it since before the show yesterday. So you tell me, since you’re the one who moved it, what the fuck happened to it?”
“I don’t know! I’ll tell you again. I saw your camera and card laying on the table when I got off the phone with my mom. I put it away so it wouldn’t get ruined or broken when everyone returned. I then set the bag on top of your suitcase so it would be with your things. That’s it!”
He rolls his eyes, closing the bag and standing up from the little table. He stares at you on the bus couch, and his jaw clenches.
“Do me a favor.” He practically growls. “Don’t touch my shit. That was three shows worth of footage that I’ve now lost thanks to you. I can’t afford to keep having you ruin things.”
He turns and stalks away as you stare at his retreating figure. Tears well in your eyes, jaw dropped at the words he so easily let slip from past his lips.
“Dude,” Brian leaned out of the small kitchen, finding Connor throwing some of his shit into his bunk. He turns and looks at you, watching as your cheeks go hot in embarrassment.
You stand, reaching for your purse, slipping your sandals on, and walking off the bus with your book and phone in hand. You weren’t gonna sit there with the band and crew, allowing them all to stare at you.
‘I can’t afford to keep having you ruin things.’
It’s really the only thing that keeps replaying through your head. What else had you ruined? Did you really ruin things for him?
Your phone starts ringing and you silence it, not wanting to talk to Brian. You just want a moment to yourself, so you can clear your head and allow his words to sink in.
**
Connor stalks down the hall of the arena, angry that you’d lost his SD card, but also angry at himself for the way he treated you. He’d lost things of yours before an while you had been a little sad and disappointed you never became angry with him. You understood that accidents happen.
“Connor!” Shawn calls, rushing to catch up with him. “Hey man, here’s your SD card back.”
“My what?” Connor breathes out, looking down to see the exact card that was missing in the tattoo’d hand.
“Yeah, I took it this morning to see if I could download and cut a few vids together. Got a call from my Social Media manager this morning. I guess I need to make another post about Tour and I wasn’t totally digging what I had prepared.”
Connor’s speechless.
“Everything looks great man, you’re really uping your game after every show. I’m loving all the shots you’re getting.”
With that Shawn walks away, leaving a hollow Connor standing in the hall.
**
He’s been looking for you all day, wants to apologize and hold you, let you cry and maybe even cry himself.
He’s so disappointed in himself, he vowed to always be understanding with you, and at the first moment to prove that he snapped at you, and said things he never meant to say.
You didn’t come to the show, and you still weren’t at the arena by the time they were packing up the bus. You wouldn’t answer your phone calls or text messages and he was really starting to worry now.
He kept pacing back and forth, biting at his thumb nail nervously.
“Con!” Brian yelled at him. “She just walked on the bus!”
Connor looked over, spotting Brian and full on sprinting to the bus in the loading dock.
He fell up the stairs in his mad dash to get to you, and he almost shoved Mike into the wall when he found you behind him in the hall.
You were messing with your bunk, and when you sighed, resting your head against the ledge he reached out and touched your arm. You jumped, yelping as you stepped back from his hand before peering up at him.
Your eyes are red and puffy from the time you spent crying, face a little swollen from the tears, cheeks still wet.
“Oh Baby,” He cried, wrapping you up in his arms.
You were wore out form your day of balling your eyes out. No energy left to fight against his hold.
“I’m so sorry, so sorry.” He whispered in your ear.
“I’m sorry I lost your card. I swear I put it in your bag. But I’ll get you a new one. And maybe your right, maybe I am ruining this experience for you. So I’ll look for a flight home tomorrow. That way I won’t be in the way and lose things for you.”
His heart was breaking at the croak of your voice, and the words you were saying.
“No! Baby no! I’m so sorry I accused you of misplacing my card. And I fucking hare myself for saying that you ruin things. You don’t, you’ve never ruined anything. You always make things better, you make things immensely better.”
“I don’t, I’m in the way and I lost your-”
“You’re not in the way!” He pulls back, hands on your shoulders so you have to look at him. “You’re not in the way. Ever! Don’t ever fucking say that again. And you didn’t,” He sighs. “You didn’t lose my card. Shawn had it the whole time. I didn’t know he took it.”
You sigh in relief, eyes falling shut. “Thank fucking god, I was so scared that it was really lost.”
“I’m sorry.” He whispers, his own tears welling in his eyes. “I hurt you, and I promised never to do that. I won’t do it again, that’s not a promise that’s a swear. I’ll make it up to you.”
“Think I’m gonna stay in my bunk tonight.” You whisper, looking to your bunk that you’ve made up with your blanket and pillow.
Since you joined tour you’ve crammed into Connor’s bunk, practically sleeping on each other, just to have the time to be with the other, the closeness.
“No, Babygirl, please don’t.” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. We’ll talk better next time, we’ll work together to solve the issue. I’ll really work on fighting with you and not against you.”
You smile, nodding at the words you’ve wanted to hear him say all day.
“I still need some time.”
“Please Babygirl.” He tugs at his hair, breathing picked up and erratic.
“Goodnight Connor, I’ll see you in the morning.” With that you kiss his cheek and climb into your bunk, pulling the curtain closed.
You hear him take a deep breath and whisper an ‘I love you so much’ before he walks away.
**
“Connor?” Shawn asks when Connor sits down, head in his hands, tears streaming down his face. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“She’s upset with me.” He cries out.
“What?”
“Fuck I hurt her so bad, and she’s upset, and is staying in her own bunk. And I don’t know what to do to make it up to her.”
“What are you talking about?” Shawn moves to sit next to his friend, Brian now entering the room.
“This morning,” Connor hiccups.
“Yeah Dude, what the fuck was that? I’ve never seen you like that? And Y/n? Fuck man, it broke my heart to see her face.”
“What are you talking about!” Shawn asks, looking between his friends.
Connor can barely catch his breath, hiccuping with each deep breath he tries to take.
“This morning, Connor couldn’t find his SD card.”
Shawn blanches and looks to Connor and then back to Brian.
“And so he asked Y/n if she’d seen it since she put his camera away after the Nashville show. She told him that she’d put it in the bag where he always keeps it but it was gone. Connor asked her like 4 times, and by the fourth time with her having the same answer he like lost it.”
Shawn’s just staring at Connor. “I yelled at her, and I told her not to touch my shit because I couldn’t afford to have her keep ruining things. But she’s never ruined anything!”
“Oh my god, Connor.” Shawn tugs at his own curls. “Why didn’t you say anything? Fuck, Connor! I’m so sorry. Fuck man, if I’d just texted you I had it or left a note or something.”
“It’s not your fault.” Connor shakes his head. “It’s mine. I’m the one who overreacted. I’m the one who hurt my girl. I’m the one who broke a promise to her and I’m the one who fucked up.”
Brian and Shawn’s heads whip up when you stalk into the room. You walk to Connor, reaching down and grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him up and out of the lounge area with you. He gasps, standing to his feet and quickly follows you until you nod to your bunk.
He climbs in, noticing you’ve grabbed his pillow and favorite blanket. You climb up after him, pushing him around to lay in the position where you could lay on your stomach, head on his chest, right leg hiked up and tangled between both of his.
“We’ll work on fighting with each other and not against each other.” You murmur against his chest. “We’ll work on communicating better and not running off on the other when we’re really feeling strong emotions. You shouldn’t have said what you said and walked away, and I shouldn’t have run away all day after you said those things. We should have sat down and had a real conversation about how we were feeling and what we could do for the other at that moment. Whether it be give each other space or to work on resolving the issue.”
He hums in agreement, running his fingers through your hair, hoping to soothe you.
“I’m glad you found your card, I was extremely worried it was really lost. I won’t touch your things again, without your permission.”
He holds you tighter. “You have my permission to touch my things at any moment. Thank you for thinking for me when you saw my things laying out. I should have been more responsible and put them away, but thank you for doing that for me. And thank you for letting me hold you right now, I don’t deserve you, but I’m gonna do everything in my power to show you everyday that you mean the absolute world to me.”
“I love you Connor Brashier, we have a lot to talk about and work on, but right now? I’ve been crying all day, I have a headache and I’m extremely tired. So I wanna fall asleep on your chest and let your heartbeat soothe mine.”
You sighed as you flopped on the couch, conveniently on the cushion Connor’s arm was slung over. He grinned, curling his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his body.
“Hey Baby.” He whispered, planting a long smooch to your temple.
It’d been a long night. With Myles catching a cold from preschool and needing constant nose blowing help and wrangling him into taking cough medication, then to Bella having a total meltdown when it came to bed time, you were completely exhausted.
“Hey.” You sighed, curling into his warm body, nosing into his neck.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’ve just had this headache all day and her screaming for the past hour didn’t help.”
“Babe,” He whines, “You should have told me I would have given you Myles.” He groans.
You smile, kissing his warm skin quickly before resting your head on his shoulder and staring at the TV screen that was showing the basketball game highlights.
“Hold on.” He hums, kissing your pouting lips before jumping up and rushing to the kitchen.
You pull the blanket that’s folded on the end of the couch over to your lap, unfolding it and rolling yourself into it. Connor returns minutes later carrying a glass of water in his right hand, a glass of wine in his left, theres a beer bottle tucked between his ribs and his elbow and you can hear a rattle of something from the pocket of his basketball shorts.
His smile lights up his whole face when you perk up at the sight of him, leaning forward. He sets the glasses on the coffee table in front of you, grabbing his beer before he drops it and setting that down too. You watch as he sits next to you again, pulling your headache medicine bottle from the pocket of his shorts. He shakes out two pills and hands them to you, pushing the glass of water towards you.
“You didn’t have to get me these Babe, I was about to.”
“I got it, you handled Bella all on your own the least I can do it take care of you. It’s kind of my job as your husband.”
You blush at his words, shaking your head before taking your meds. You set your glass of water back down and reach for the wine before he stops you.
“Ah ah ah.” He swats playfully at your hand. “Drink all of your water Miss.”
You giggle but play along, “But I don’t want to!”
He smiles, picking up your glass and holding it out to you. “You can have your wine once you finish your water.”
“That’s all I get? Is wine?”
“And I’ll give you a kiss.”
“Deal!”
He laughs as he watches you chug the water making a show of slamming the glass down and turning to him with puckered lips.
“Holy fuck I love you.” He giggles before giving your very much deserved kiss.
“Thanks I love you too.” You respond once he’s pulled away. “Can I have my wine now?”
“You can have anything you want.” He mutters, grabbing his beer as you grab your wine before settling you back into his chest as he focuses on the the TV again.
It’s been exactly 20 minutes since you sat down when you hear Bella crying. You whine, turning into Connor’s shoulder. “I was really hoping she’d be down for awhile.”
“I got her.” He hums, patting your shoulder so he could get up.
“But I’m on Bella duty.” You protest.
It wasn’t a lie that you and Connor are trying the whole tag team with the kids. Now that you have two your on man to man defense, and if you didn’t play that way it could get chaotic and stressful.
“It’s okay Baby, I got her.”
“Are you sure?”
“Totally.” He nods, setting his beer down and standing up to climb the stairs.
“I’m so going to blow you tonight.” You muttered as he walked away. He looked back over his shoulder, eyes significantly darker.
“Fuck I love being married.” He whispered to himself as he climbed the stairs closer to the blood curdling screams. “Bella,” He sighed as he opened the door. “Girly, you making your Mama crazy.”
She calmed a little at his voice but still whimpered as she stood in her crib, tears clinging to her long lashes.
“Honey you need to go nigh nigh,” He whispered. “That’s why you’re crying, because you’re tired.” He reached down and laid her back down in her crib but she started screaming again. “Babygirl,” He shushed her. “Isabella you need to breathe.”
Connor looked around, and then shook the corner of her crib to test how sturdy it was. Seemingly satisfied with how it didn’t budge he did the only thing he could think to do. He swung a leg over the rail of the crib and climbed in. He scooted to the side and laid on his back while Bella climbed up on his chest.
“Is that what you wanted?” He asked when she instantly stopped crying. “You just wanted cuddles from Daddy?”
She whimpered and clutched his shirt but her eyes fluttered closed while she took a few deep breaths.
Connor stayed and rubbed her back, looking up at the ceiling. Before he knew it his eyes were feeling droopy and he let them shut and sleep pull him to his dreamland.
**
You roused from your tiny nap when the news flashed with a weather report. You sat up disoriented, looking around and squinting to read the time on the bottom right hand corner of the TV. How was it 11:57pm already?
You leaned for the remote to turn the TV down when you noticed Connor’s full beer still sitting on the coffee table. Standing up you peeked into his office down the hall and saw the lights were off and he wasn’t there.
“Connor?” You whispered, shutting the TV off completely, heading off to search for him.
You start climbing the stairs slowly, sleep still aching your joints.
You look down the hall where Bella’s room was open. You tip toe closer and peek inside not seeing him in the rocking chair. You shut the door behind you and continue your search coming up short in Myles room, the laundry room, and your bedroom. You dial his number after you’ve checked the entire house and come up empty.
You can hear his ‘Friends’ theme song ringer going off and you start walking closer down the hall as it gets louder. Your brows furrow as you open Bella’s room again, taking a step in this time and finding the most soft thing in the world.
There passed out holding his daughter on his chest was Connor David Brashier in Isabella’s crib. You snicker lightly as you take a picture and then quickly put your phone away to wake him.
You nudge his arm, trying your hardest not to scare him since he was holding Bella. You caress his cheek, smiling when his eyes flutter open.
“Hi Baby.” He smiles, face all sleepy swollen.
You coo, “Hi Hon.” You whisper.
“Whatcha doing?” He mumbles.
“Honey,” You rub your thumb on his cheek. “Don’t freak out.”
“Okiii” He smiles.
“You fell asleep, and you’re holding Bella.”
At this his eyes widen, finally becoming totally aware that he wasn’t dreaming. His head whips up as he looks to his chest where Bella is asleep. “Oh my god.” He whisper cries. “I can’t believe I fell asleep!” He looks to you with horror in his eyes. “I could have rolled on her!”
“You didn’t.” You shake your head, still rubbing his cheek.
“Oh my-”
“Shh, lets get you out of there and off to bed Sleepy Boy.”
He slowly shifts Bella onto the mattress and carefully climbs out of the crib. You take his hand leading him to your bedroom to get ready for bed. When you step into the bathroom you hear him exit the room for a moment. When you start pulling the covers on the bed back he reenters.
“Where’d you go?”
“Double checking the house was locked.” He hums, sliding past you to check and make sure both baby monitors for Myles and Bella were on. Once he’s checked everything and plugged his phone in he sheds his jeans and t shirt and climbs into bed after you.
“You’re an amazing father.” You rub his back as he tries to get comfortable.
“Yeah?” He asks softly.
“The absolute best, I think I completely melted when I found you with her.”
He grins when he feels your arms snake around his torso. He grabs your hand, pulling you closer so your flush against his back. When he feels your bare chest to his bare back his eyes pop open.
“Are you topless right now?”
“Yeah, are you ready to go to sleep or did you want to....”
He rolls over in an instant, rolling you under him so he’s hovering over you.
“Fuck I love you.” He grins, leaning down to kiss your neck.
This time around, you two weren’t interrupted when you needed a moment with each other.
July 13th, his 20th birthday. That night was the reason why you were here today. If that night wouldn’t have happened you wouldn’t have peed on a stick this morning, it wouldn’t have been positive and you wouldn’t be sitting on the bed at your OBGYN’s clinic awaiting for her results.
You’ve been best friends with Connor since you both were 7. That was 13 years of friendship. 13 years of listening to him go on about photography, 13 years of supporting him and his dreams no one else really supported when he first got started in high school.
It was also 13 years of being asked how long you two had been in a relationship.
Girls and boys can be best friends without falling in love. Or well, that’s what you always said to everyone when they asked. You’d been in love with Connor since you were 17, but you knew he’d never feel the same, so you kept that feeling pushed way back into your brain.
Connor was there for you through every boyfriend, just like you were for his girlfriends. The heartbreak and the first time discussions after the fact.
“Alright,” The Doctor walks in after tapping on the wooden door with her knuckle twice. “So your positive was correct, you are pregnant.”
You sighed, shoulders sinking. “Really?”
“Yep, really really pregnant.” She smiles, handing you a few brochures. “Let’s go over your options.”
You look up with wide eyes, horror running through your veins and emotions.
“Let’s not, thanks Doc, but I’m already attached to this kid, and if you knew the Dad you would be too.”
She smiles, nodding but telling you to take the brochures just in case.
She refers you to one of her colleagues who’s an Obstetrician with her practice and can take you through your pregnancy and birth.
You take the information she gave you and leave with a small smile and a polite wave goodbye to her front office receptionist. Once you’re back in your car you let the new totally settle in.
You were having a baby, with Connor, at age 19 and 20. Super cool.
On Connor’s birthday everything went a little crazy. Shawn threw a rager, wanting to celebrate his newest addition to his team, and his friend who was turning the big 2 0. He flew you out to where they were so you could be there to celebrate and surprise Connor.
Everyone went a little crazy, everyone.
Brian was so blacked out that he took Alessia back to his room with him, forgot that he invited her in, and called Shawn from the bathroom freaking out that she’d followed him home. (Even though we were all in the same hotel)
Shawn was the only one that didn’t go hard. Knowing he had shows and other obligations like filming music videos and meeting up with Chance the Rapper. He supervised, and not well, but had a blast watching everyone be stupid and make fools of themselves.
Connor was a clingy needy drunk, so throughout the night he just became more and more glued to your side. He hadn’t seen you in months, and missed you so much. It all started when he wanted to dance to the slow songs with you, hands on your hips, holding you close. You fell into his embrace, missing being held in such a way, and feeling so safe with Connor. He planted a few kisses to your neck, and one just behind your ear learning very quickly that that was your weak spot.
After you let out a shaky moan of his name, tucking your fingers into his hair, you were a goner. You both quickly found your way back to his room, falling on the bed nakedly exploring the other between the sheets.
By morning? You both swore to never speak of it again, pretend like nothing happened, and move on. Everything was normal, it literally was like nothing happened. He still picked on you, you still gave him shit in front of the guys, but you both were still there for the other in ways no one else could be.
You clicked on his contact; ‘Bri’s lil bitch C David Brash”
Brian really changed Connor’s name in your phone to the best thing you’d ever seen, you wouldn’t dare change it.
“Whattup?” He answered on the third ring, and suddenly, you’re emotional.
“Hey,” You choke out, looking around trying to distract your brain.
“What’s wrong?” His side of the phone shuffles, and becomes marginally quieter.
“Nothing,” You whisper, “What are you doing?”
“I’m talking to you, tell me what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing Con.”
“You’re upset though, I can hear it.”
“When do you come home again?”
“I come home next week, I have to meet my counselor and then register for classes. I get into town on Monday, and I leave Friday.”
You nod, knowing full well he can’t see you. “Can we meet on Monday?”
You need to tell him, and you won’t keep this a secret from him longer than you have too.
“Um yeah, I fly in at like 8, wanna meet for coffee and breakfast or something?”
“Yeah perfect.”
“Okay…..? Ready to tell me what’s wrong yet?” He asks.
You sigh, “I should let you go, you’re probably busy.”
“No, hey,” He protests. “I wanna talk, I miss you.”
You smile, insides running warm when you hear his voice say those words. “I miss you too Baby Brash.”
You can hear him sigh and you can practically see him rolling his eyes. “So you watched the newest video?”
“Of course I did, got your post notifications on.”
“No you don’t.”
“No you’re right, I don’t, I have Shawn’s on.”
At this he laughs, like a snort and everything and it makes you feel good, to be able to get him to laugh like that again, to hear that laugh.
“Brashier, we gotta go!” Brian yells at him in the background.
“You’re literally standing behind me, why you gotta yell?”
“Because I felt like pissing you off.” Brian snickers. “Who you on the phone with? Gots a girlyfriend?” Something must happen on Connor’s side of the phone because suddenly all you can hear is boys yelling.
“Connor that’s the fourth girl you’ve been on the phone with today!”
“There is no hot sex going on over here!”
“PASS THE WEED MAN!”
“Shut the fuck up!” Connor’s voice is back, “Jesus it’s just Y/n, could you…?”
“But we wanna say hi!” Shawn and Brian whine.
You giggle and blush a little at the attention.
Connor shuffles the phone, and then you can barely hear him, he’s really muffled but you make it out. “She’s upset about something, so could you fucking leave for a minute. I was getting her to talk and then you fuckers walked in.” A few seconds later and he’s back crystal clear. “Okay they left, you still there Honey?”
“You didn’t need to kick them out.”
“But I wanna talk to you.”
“They just wanted to say hi.”
“But you’re my best friend.” He whines, “They’d steal all your attention.”
“You need to go, I’ll see you next week okay?”
“Okay, love you kid.” He says softly.
“Love you too Brash.”
**
He walks in, looking all nerdy cute, face down into his phone.
iMessage from Bri’s lil bitch C David Brash: Im here where u is
“If you ever looked up from your phone you’d know I’m here too Bitch.” You say from your table, laughing when he jumps and looks over at you.
“You scared the shit out of me.” He laughs, smiling really wide when you stand and give him a big hug. “Fuck I missed you Kid.” He sighs into your neck, letting your scent relax his stressed out mind.
“Missed you too.”
He takes the seat across from you, thanking you for the coffee you already had ordered and sat in front of his seat on the table. He takes a sip as you take a deep breath and shut your eyes to give yourself that last push of encouragement.
“Connor?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m pregnant.” You blurt.
It’s then that you realize your eyes are still closed, opening them one at a time to see his reaction. It’s comical almost, the sight of him, jaw dropped, eyes bugging, body frozen.
You give it a moment, a second to really settle into his brain, you needed to do the same when you found out. Hell, you’re still doing that.
He clears his throat, shakes his head a bit, but his eyes continue to flare out at you.
“Excuse me?” He croaks.
“I’m pregnant,” You nod, watching him nod with you. “And it’s yours.”
He hums, and continues to stare at you. You take a sip of your decaf coffee, wincing at the weird taste.
“Fuck man, I don’t know if I can handle 9 months of decaf, that shit is gross as hell.”
This seems to snap Connor out of whatever daze he was in.
“You’re being real right now?” He looks around, “Is Brian here filming me? Is this a prank or something? You got me, you got my reaction, turn it off now.”
You sigh, worried he would think something like that. You just sit there, staring at him.
“You’re being real?!?” He says with persistence in his voice, leaning closer to you.
“That night we swore to never speak of again? Well, we’ll be talking for at least the next 18 years.” You shrug.
He’s still in shock, just staring at you with a glazed over glance. You just nod and smile a little at him, trying to coax him through his shock.
“I-” He gapes, “Um, we...I...condom!”
You giggle, shaking your head at him while rolling your eyes. “Really? That’s what you’re gonna do? Blurt ‘condom’ out like it’ll fix everything?”
“But I used one!” He’s becoming defensive. Snapping at you in ways he’s done in the past when he’s stressed to the brim and can’t control his emotions. You can count the amount of times snapped at you on one hand.
“They’re only 98% effective, if that, Connor. Or maybe it broke or something. It happened, and I’m pregnant.”
“No! We can’t, a baby?”
You take a deep breath, trying to tell yourself that he’s just in shock and that he’s gonna be happy about this, someday. He doesn’t mean the way he’s reacting right now.
“How are you calm right now?” He asks in shrill.
“I don’t know Connor, life happens. It’s not perfect but we’ll figure it out.” You shrug, raising your voice a little to match his level.
“Fucking shit,” He tugs at his hair, face grimancing as he groans.
You sigh, grabbing your purse, collecting your phone and coffee and stand to leave. His head whips up when you stand, and he watches as you straighten out your shorts before starting to walk away.
“No, don’t go.” He pleads.
“Talk to me when this settles Connor. I can’t be here to watch you freak out. My hormones are all sorts of fucked up right now and I’m trying to stay positive about this whole thing but your reaction isn’t helping.”
He gets up and follows you out of the coffee shop, racing to meet you at your car before you can leave.
“Wait, talk to me, please.” He blocks your door so you can’t close it.
You look up, tears in your eyes that tear his heart apart. “We really did turn into Ross and Rachel huh? Just like everyone said throughout high school. Except we won’t end up together, we’ll always be the Ross and Rachel before they got together.”
He shakes his head, “I’m your lobster.”
**
Connor sits on your couch three days later. This was the first chance he’d been able to actually come over, any other conversations have been over the phone or text message since your meeting at the coffee shop.
It’s kind of awkward, the both of you sitting in silence as you try to not bring up the elephant in the room.
“I’m sorry,” You clear your throat, wincing as you lean forward and start this conversation. “I’m sorry that I up and left you on Monday. That wasn’t cool. I dropped a big ass bomb on you, something we would have never expected in a million years, and then just got up and left you alone. My hormones are whacked out right now but that’s not an excuse. So I’m sorry for being a shitty friend and making you go through that shock alone.”
“Hey,” He shakes his head, turning towards you on the couch, scooting closer. “Don’t be sorry. I was kind of being a jackass. I shouldn’t have flipped out like that.”
You sigh, smiling up at him. “I missed you, a lot.”
His hand falls on top of yours, fingers intertwining. “I missed you so much, you have no idea.” He sighs, letting his eyes rake over you for a moment, imagining what you’ll look like with a baby bump. “How the hell am I supposed to leave for tour?”
“Just go, I’m not due until May. You’ll be back in December, that’s plenty of time.”
“You’re pregnant, I want to be here for appointments, picking out and setting up the crib, cravings, all of it!”
You smile, reaching over and caressing his cheek. “Then talk to Shawn, sit down with Cez, explain it to Brian because he’ll lose his shit if you leave him without a solid reason behind it. We’ll figure it out, and make do.” You shrug.
He nods, leaning into your hand a little. “You always make everything better.”
“That’s because I know you Connor David,” You tap his cheek twice, “I know how to handle you.”
He grins, rolling his eyes before flopping back into the corner of your couch he’s claimed as his. “Have you told your mom yet?” He asks, throwing your fluffy white and black throw blanket over his lap.
“No,” You sigh, kicking your feet up and relax across from him on your sectional. He smirks as you take a breath, reaching over and grabbing your feet to give you a foot massage. “What are you doing?”
“Gotta get used to pampering you, might as well get a head start.” He murmurs. “Are you scared to tell your mom?”
“I mean not really. It’s not the ideal situation I was hoping for when I thought about having kids. But like, I can’t complain. I’m honored to have your kid Con, I think I got lucky when it comes to the baby daddy part of this.”
He tilts his head, looking over at you with a blush on his cheeks.
“I guess you could say I got pretty lucky with the baby mama part.” He mutters, watching you from under his lashes, grinning when you roll your eyes and throw your head back to hide the apparent blush forming across your cheeks.
**
Your guest bedroom that once used to be your small library and office area has now been bombarded with camera gear, a full sized bed covered in basic grey sheets and a black comforter.
Connor spoke with Shawn and Cez the first chance he had when he got back to tour. He explained the situation, as awkward and unexpected it is, and expressed his need to be home more for you and his unborn child.
Both were very understanding to him and his needs, granting him a week off a month ensuring that he’d still be able to get enough footage but also time at home. It also gave Shawn and the crew a moment of peace and not having to worry about cameras so much, not that Connor is like the crazy paps.
But now that Connor will be home once a month it made sense that he move into your spare room instead of having to stay with his parents or pay for a place he really wouldn’t see all that often. It was the perfect set up, to be there and help you when you need it.
You two were still adjusting to living together, or with another human (of the different sex).
You walked into the apartment from class, stopping short when the first thing you saw in your kitchen was Connor, in only his black Calvins.
“Bro,” You shield your eyes setting your backpack on your bar stool, “Can you wear pants?”
Connor looks over at the sound of your voice, a slice of cheese between his fingers, munching on a bite. He looks down, and then back up to you holding a hand over your eyes.
“I’m in boxers, I’m not naked.”
“No one wants to see your dick though,” You shake your head, grinning as you say, “Been there, done that.”
He chuckles, leaning closer to you and peeling your hands away from your eyes so you can see his smug smile. “You weren’t complaining then.”
Your jaw drops and you blush as he raises an eyebrow at you. “Well,” You stutter, “I mean,” He smiles, getting the best reaction out of you. “Shut up, go put clothes on!” You smack his arm shooing him to his room.
**
You both were getting really good and creative with ways to hiding your pregnancy. The only people who knew were the team, and family. Not even friends from your high school knew.
The issue with hiding this was the fact that Connor was gaining a lot of attention from Shawn’s fans. You didn’t blame them, no matter what brought them to become a fan of his, it at least brought more attention to his work and was getting him that much more popular. This just meant that you had to take hiding your pregnancy to a whole new level.
For a while you were able to just wear some big sweatshirts to cover the smallest bump you had. When sweatshirts weren’t able to work so much you then resorted to really flowy shirts and a big purse you could always swing in front of your belly.
There was even one time that Connor and the whole crew were in town. They had invited you to lunch since no one had seen you since Connor told everyone. But at the end of lunch the manager came to tell the group that the paparazzi had followed Shawn and his own lunch date.
You were panicked while everyone just rolled their eyes and grumbled about how someone had probably called them so pictures of Shawn and his date could be taken. You looked to Connor and gulped as he laughed with Brian about a meme he was showing him.
“Y/n, you okay?” Shawn asked from across the table.
He was always so kind, and it boggled your mind how he could always see everyone, even when there were thousands in front of him, he could see everyone and notice every mood change.
Connor looked over after Shawn’s question and noticed your worried expression.
“Um, I’m,” You looked down at your shirt that very clearly showed off your small baby bump. “We haven’t told-”
“Oh shit,” Connor mumbled now noticing what you were referring too. “Fuck they’re gonna get pictures of us.” He looked to Shawn.
“I totally forgot,” Shawn rubs his forehead. “I’m so sorry you guys.”
“Do you have anything to like hide behind?” Brian asked.
“No, I didn’t bring a jacket because it’s so nice out.” You shake your head.
“Actually,” Connor cringes, looking at Josiah. “Do you still have your pocket reflector?”
Josiah nods, handing it to Connor.
“We’ll head out first, and then you guys go with Brian and maybe they’ll won’t pay you much attention. We’ll take a walk down the block or something.” Shawn stands, giving you an apologetic smile before walking out with his date.
You look to Connor and Brian as Connor is unfolding the reflector that creates a decent sized circle. You just laugh out loud when he offers it to you.
“What?” He asks.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” You laugh taking it from him. “It definitely doesn’t look like I’m hiding anything.” You’re sarcastic tone makes the boys chuckle.
“Here,” Brian hands Connor an old disposable camera. “Pretend like you’re taking my picture as we walk to the car so it looks like she’s actually using it.”
You just laugh harder and so do the boys at this elaborate plan to cover your pregnant belly.
**
At 5 months your little one is now starting to move. You’re really uncomfortable at the moment, in the stages of dealing with pregnancy and the symptoms.
Tonight is no different, if anything, it’s worse. Baby Brash (literally) has the hiccups and it’s causing your belly to move every 30 seconds or so. So sleeping at the moment isn’t a reality. Finding a comfortable spot to fall asleep isn’t a reality either.
iMessage from Papa 👶: Stop moving, I can hear your bed springs, lord help our child when you get laid.
You rolled your eyes at Connor’s message. He changed his name in your phone when he finally saw what you had him under. He even changed your name in his phone to ‘Mama 👶’ with the baby emoji.
iMessage to Papa👶 : Tell your child to stop moving so much then
You watched as he read the message, but frowned a little when he didn’t start responding. You jumped when your bedroom door creaked open, revealing Connor in a worn white t shirt and plaid pajama pants.
“Hey you,” He crawls into your bed, shuffling under your covers with you. “Hey Kid,” He smiles, leaning down to plant a small kiss to your belly. “Stop moving in there so Mama can go to sleep. She’s keeping me up because you’re keeping her up.”
You roll your eyes again, glaring at him. “Really?”
“You told me to tell the kid.” He shrugs.
His hands have found their way to your belly, rubbing soothing circles in hopes of calming his baby down and lulling you to sleep.
You sigh and let your eyes flutter close.
“What hurts tonight?” He whispers.
“My hips and back.”
“Roll to your side for me.”
You do as told, and moan a little when he starts massaging at your tender hips. Your lower back is so tired and your hips are sore.
He keeps rubbing and tracing designs on your skin until your breathing evens out. He rolls away a little to go back to his room before your rolling towards him, and resting your head on his chest.
“Don’t go.” You whine.
**
His whole life flashed before his eyes when he got the call. His whole life.
That’s the only words running through his mind.
His whole life.
“What did she say?” Brian as he drove to the airport.
“She said that she was being transported to the hospital and because she’s pregnant they wanted to take her in for more testing just to double check that everything was okay.”
“And what happened again?”
“She was driving home from work, her light went green and she proceeded through the intersection when some dipshit in a fucking truck ran the red and hit the back of her car, sounds like it’s totaled but luckily he just hit her trunk, so she wasn’t hurt to much.”
“She’s okay though right?” Brian asked again.
“As far as I know, but I’ll keep you updated. Just tell everyone else for me okay?”
“Of course man. Just go take care of her and that Baby.”
Connor takes a shaky breath as he looks out the window.
“Connor,” Brian said, surprising him by using his full name. “You need to breathe.”
“My whole life was in that car Brian, my whole life was sitting in the driver's seat of that car, and-”
“You need to breathe Connor.”
“I’m trying!” He snaps at Brian, “But I’m freaking out! My girl and our baby were in an accident today and I’m not there with them! So please forgive me if I’m a little scared and panicked.”
“I know you are, you just gotta stay calm. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes.”
“You really need to stop doing that weird fucking yoga thing with Shawn. It’s changing you man.” Connor jokes, trying to lighten his own mood.
**
By the time Connor’s landed you’re already home and resting. He bursts into the apartment like a bat out of hell, slamming the door and flipping the lock before throwing his bag to the ground and racing to your room.
“Jesus, be a little louder why don’t you.” You comment when he falls into your room.
“Are you okay? What did the doctor say? Is our Bean okay?” He throws himself onto your bed, hands instantly searching for your ever growing bump.
“We’re okay.” You whisper, threading your fingers through his hair to calm him down. “I told you we were fine and that you didn’t need to come home.”
“Right,” He scoffs. “Like I was just gonna stay miles away from you after you’ve been in an accident.”
“But we’re okay! You’re parents, my parents, our siblings, everyone was there with me. Really we’re okay.”
“Okay, okay.” He nods, laying down with his head beside your big belly, rubbing and tapping at it, smiling when he feels a few kicks. “My Bean is kicking?” He looks up at you.
“Yeah, has been for a week or so.”
“Why didn’t you say so?”
“Well,” You frown, looking away. “To be honest I planned on pretending that the first time Bean kicked when you were home next was the first time so you didn’t feel like you were missing out on anything.”
Connor smiles at you, shaking his head and leaning up to plant a kiss to your cheek. “Thank you for planning to lie to me.”
You giggle, before shifting to sit up more. You reach for the papers on your bedside table and hand them to Connor.
“What’s this?” He asks, looking down. His face falls, frown dropping his lips eyes looking up at you. “What is this? Why are you handing me this?”
“I think we need to talk about it.” You shrug.
“Not right now.”
“Connor this is serious, it’s not just us anymore. We’re having a kid, we need to have a Will drawn up.”
“I understand that, but I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”
“Connor, in the event that something happens to one of us, we need to know what the other wants.”
“Stop, stop, stop talkin’ like that!”
“Connor,”
“Please,” He tugs at his hair, “Please not right now. I understand we need to know, I get that and we’ll have it drawn up but I don’t want to talk about it right now. All my nightmares came true today.” He looks at you with sad eyes. “I haven’t told you this, but lately I’ve been having a few nightmares that something happens to you and our Bean, and I’m not there to help you or protect you.” He shakes his head, eyes squeezed shut. “And that happened to me today. You both were in an accident, and I wasn’t here.”
“Connor,” You say again.
“I get it!” He snaps. “But I don’t like the thought of losing you okay? I’m fucking in love with you, and I don’t really have you, but I thought I lost you when I got that call. So can we stop talking like this for the day? Please? Please can you give my heart a moment?”
You stare up at him with wide eyes, your heart rate picking up at his words.
“You’re what?” You whisper, caressing his cheek.
“Huh?”
“You’re in love with me?”
His eyes go wide in panic now that he’s realized what he’s said.
“Are you being serious?”
“Yeah?” He nods.
“Why haven’t you said anything!” You slap his arm.
“I don’t know, you never-”
“I’ve been in love with you since Junior year!” You keep slapping his arm.
“Stop hitting me!” He grabs your hands, interlocking your fingers.
“You never said anything!”
“Neither did you!” He responds.
**
Things were different now, you still hadn’t really said officially what you two were now, but it was this weird in between stage of best friend and boyfriend.
He would kiss you sometimes, and always hold your hand, he’d even let a few pet names slip, but when asked by others he still referred to you as his best friend.
It confused you to no end, because now that something changed he’s moved into your room, claiming that he would just sneak in every night anyway, and now you had room for a nursery.
“Babe?” He called from the nursery, seated criss cross on the ground, staring up at the ceiling while waiting for your response. “BABE?”
“What?” You call back, walking down the hall to the laundry room.
“Can you bring me a water?”
“Really? You can’t get it yourself?”
“I’m building the crib!”
“I’m doing your laundry!” You yell back, leaning against the dryer, rolling your eyes at his request.
“Please?” He asks softly. When you don’t respond he resorts to baby talk he knows you can’t resist. “Pweety Pwease? I’ll give you kisses.”
You groan, waddling down the hall to the kitchen, grabbing him a cucumber mint flow from the fridge, and grabbing yourself a watermelon lime one. You make your way to the nursery, throwing him the water before taking a seat in the new rocking chair Shawn bought you guys.
“How you doing there Pretty Mama?” He smiles looking over at you.
“I’m tired, and big.” You whine, looking down at your very pregnant belly.
“I think you look really pretty.” He blushes, looking back at the crib.
“You owe me kisses.” You pout.
“Do I?” He looks at you, “What if I was crossing my fingers?”
You gasp, furrowing your brows and crossing your arms across your chest. “That’s so mean. You’re pregnant best friend just waddled her way to the kitchen and back to bring you your precious water and you won’t give her kisses like you promised?”
He’s up on his knees crawling towards you. “Girlfriend.” He hums setting his hands on your thighs so he can lean closer.
“What?”
“You mean my pregnant girlfriend.” He corrects you.
“Do I?” You asked softly, biting your lip as you stare into those blue eyes.
“I sure hope so.” He whispers.
“Is that what I am? Your girlfriend?”
He pulls back a little, brows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean? I thought-”
“Yeah me too but then you told the guy at the baby shop that I was your best friend.”
He sighs, hanging his head. “It’s so natural, or I don’t know, programmed in my head to introduce you that way. But I thought we turned into something more when we confessed.”
“Me too, but when you did that it through me off.”
“Babe,” He smiles, rubbing his hands up your legs, “We live together, we sleep in the same bed, we kiss, we love, we laugh, we fight, we’re pregnant.” He let’s his right hand wander to your belly. “I consider you my girlfriend. I hope you consider me your boyfriend.”
“I do.”
“So then why are you pouting?”
“Because I really want kisses.”
“Oh my goodness.” He laughs, leaning forward to cover your lips with his own. He kisses you deeply, pecking your lips three more times before pulling away. “Better?”
“For now.”
“Okay.” He laughs, shaking his head before going back to building the crib.
**
“Boyfriend?” You yell from the bedroom when you hear the door open.
“It’s Boyfriend and his friends!” Connor yells back. “Girlfriend?”
“Yes?”
“Where are you?”
You quickly finish tying the bow to his gift before making your way to the living room where Shawn and Brian are seated on the couch.
“Hey!” Shawn jumps up, giving you a hug before looking down to your belly. “Can I touch your belly?”
You laugh a little, “Yeah go ahead, thank you for asking.”
“Of course, it would be a little rude to just go ahead.” He says touching your belly.
“Can you tell that to the rest of the world?”
“Hey Bean!” Shawn says to your belly. “Uncle Shawn got you the coolest thing ever!” He says before running to the couch to show you a small guitar case.
“Shawn you didn’t.”
“I couldn’t help myself, I was looking for a new one and saw this little thing.” He pops the case open. “I’ll teach Bean how to play and everything!”
“There you are!” Connor smiles when he enters holding three beers and your favorite flow flavor. He walks up to you, planting a wet smooch to your lips before handing the boys their drinks.
“I have something for you.” You grin, holding up the little gift wrapped box.
“Oh yeah?” He takes it from you.
He unties the bow, rips the paper, and opens the box to reveal a small blue Polaroid camera.
“This is so cute,” He says holding it in his hand.
Shawn gasps and Brian stands up in excitement.
“Where’d you get this honey?”
“It doesn’t matter,” You wave him off, bouncing on your toes in excitement. “What color is it?”
“Blue?” He asks, looking up at you, and then over to the excited boys next to him that are punching the other in the arm.
“And blue is for what?” You pull it out of him.
“Blue is for….” He stares at you, “Blue is for boy.” His eyes light up. “Blue is for boy?”
“Blue is for boy!” You squeal.
“Oh my god! Blue is for boy!” He wraps you up in his arms, kissing your neck. “It’s a boy, we’re having a boy!”
“ITS A BOY!” Shawn and Brian cheer.
**
You groan in pain as you feel another contraction hit. You’ve been in labor for three hours now and your little boy does not want to come see the world.
Connor tries not to wince or complain about his hand he’s sure you’ve severely bruised. He breathes with you through the pain, running a soothing hand over your head and taking your matted hair back away from your forehead.
“There you go Baby.” He whispers, “You’re doing so good.”
“I love you Connor David,” You smile at him, “But I want to fucking kick you in the balls right now.”
He winces at the thought and shakes his head. “I’m sorry Baby,” He looks away. “I wish I could take your pain away, I wish it were me.”
“Me too.” You relax when the contraction stops.
“Still holding your hand?” The nurse smiles when she walks in to check on you. “You’re better than most Dad’s, they usually wimp out by now from the pain.”
“He never lets go, no matter what.” You smile up at Connor.
“You’re my lobster Baby,” He leans down to kiss your lips.
He’s a very quiet, private, stick to himself, kind of guy.
That type of guy with a girlfriend leads to not much PDA, far and few between intimate moments, and small moments of doubt.
You know Connor loves you, you also know he shows it in a way you don’t.
You would rather hold his hand as you walked down the street, leave some passionate kisses on his lips whenever you had to leave his side, or surprise him at work with a coffee.
Connor though, took pictures of you in what you thought were your worst moments. He’d send you pictures of beautiful destinations with no caption, or give you just the slightest smile if he saw you walk in from across the room.
He was especially this way on tour, not wanting to seem like he wasn’t focused on his job. He’d walk ahead of you with the group or go out on little adventures for a photo shoot and tell you about it later. To him, he knew you were there. You were a constant in his life of crazy, so he didn’t think much about it.
You knew that, and you loved him for it, but of course you had moments where you really just wanted your boyfriend to be near.
“Look she’s getting so mad!” You hear Alessia laugh as you walk down the hallway of the venue, hoping to find Connor somewhere. You peak your head in the room and can’t help but smile at the laughter spilling out of the room.
“Who’s getting mad?” You asked, walking in and peering over Alessia’s and Olivia’s shoulder to see them watching a video on their laptop.
“Y/n!” Alessia cheers, “We’re watching couple prank videos on youtube, look-” She points to a screen where you see a boyfriend trying to kiss his girlfriend. “It’s the ‘I can’t stop kissing you’ prank, and she’s getting so annoyed with him.”
You lean on the back of the couch their seated on, to watch the rest of the video and the next one Olivia clicks on after that. Again it was a kissing video, and this girlfriend was much more annoyed than the last.
Connor is strolling down the halls, camera in hand, stopping when he hears your voice, a smile instantly spending on his face.
“I don’t understand why they’re so annoyed?” You question when the video ends.
“What do you mean?” Alessia asks.
“I’d kill if Connor gave me attention like that, so I’m a little lost at why they’re annoyed with their boyfriends wanting to kiss them.”
Alessia’s brows furrow as you speak, she’s confused as to what you’ve said about Connor. She knows for a fact that that boy is obsessed with you, and can’t ever get you out of his mind.
She reaches back and touches your hand silently, locking eyes with you and giving you a look that let you know she’s here if you ever want to talk.
“Speaking of Con, have you seen him?” You ask, changing the subject.
“Last I heard he was going out with Shawn and Brian for lunch. I assumed you were going, did you not join them?”
“I didn’t know he left, I was waiting for him to see if he’d have a chance to join me for lunch.” You sigh, shaking your head. “I should’ve texted him.”
Connor stands outside the room watching and listening to you.
He looks down to the ground at the disappointment in your voice. He shuts his eyes when he remembers that he never texted you that he was headed to lunch with the boys. And curses himself at the fact that he left you alone looking for him.
“Did you wanna stay with us until soundcheck?” Olivia asked, patting the open spot on the couch next to her. “We plan to watch more ‘I can’t stop kissing you’ pranks.”
“Sure,” You smile walking around the couch to take a seat.
“If I had a boyfriend and I walked up and started kissing him he’d better put whatever he’s doing down to kiss me back, I’d slap all these boys straight up for getting annoyed.” Olivia says as she clicks on the next video.
**
You were already asleep by the time Connor made it back to the bus, it was a driving night and he wanted to make sure all his gear was packed and loaded correctly.
When he peaked into your bunk he sighed at your sleeping figure. Your headphones were in your ears, a youtube video playing on your phone. He reached over, stopping the video and closing the app. He smiled at your home screen picture, which was of him from one of the latest photo shoots for Shawn. He was filming the FLOW campaign on the side of the road, shirtless because it was hotter than hell outside, and you had snapped a picture of his side profile as he was taking a picture of Shawn.
He looked down at you, leaning down to kiss your forehead, before plugging your phone and wrapping your headphones in a circle so they don’t tangle while you sleep.
“Night Babygirl,” He whispers, smoothing your hair out over your pillow. “I love you. Sweet dreams.” He plants one more kiss to your forehead and ducks out of your bunk to let you sleep.
He spots Shawn and wanders towards him on the couch, taking a seat and playing with his fingers. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah man, what’s up?”
“Can you explain that whole languages of love or whatever thing to me?”
Shawn looks up from his phone, clicking it off and pocketing it. “Why?”
“I’m worried I’m not doing well enough to show her that I love her, and I know we’re different that way. So I thought if you explained it to me I might be able to understand what she needs from me. She’s been so understanding with me and my personality, and giving me the time and space I needed. But I want to give her what she needs to you know?”
Shawn smiles, reaching over and grabbing a book from his backpack, handing it to Connor. “Read that, it’s got everything you need.”
**
After reading that whole book Shawn gave him, watching a few of those stupid couple videos you were watching with the girls yesterday and taking what you said to heart he’s got a plan on how to show you he loves you.
You wake to him stroking your hair, smiling down at you. “Morning Gorgeous.”
You blush, looking around and then back up at him. “Good morning.” You say hesitantly. “Did we already make it to the venue?”
“Yeah, just parked.”
“Oh, am I late?” You sit up.
“Late?” He asks, blue eyes holding a teasing tone.
“You’re just...” You look around, hearing the rest of the team laughing just down the hall. “Are you okay?” You ask, staring at him.
“M’perfect.” He smiles, leaning forward and capturing your lips in a kiss. You kiss him back, but are totally confused.
“Am I forgetting an anniversary or something?”
“Nope, still have 2 months and 17 days.” He shakes his head, playing with your fingers.
You stare at him, one, in shock he knows the exact day count until your 2 year anniversary, and two, at how affectionate he is being on the bus right now.
“Wanna have breakfast with me?” He asks looking up at you.
“Um, yeah, where is everyone going?” You ask, pulling your phone from the charger.
“Not sure, thought we could go somewhere just us?” He says, smiling when your head whips over.
“Like a breakfast date?”
“Yeah, what do you say Gorgeous? Can I take you out?”
You blush again, biting your lip. “Are you sure everything's okay? Did you do something?”
“Everything is fine, just wanna take my girl out, can I do that?”
“Yeah, okay. Can I get ready first?”
“Yeah,” He nods, pecking your lips. “Hurry though.” He kisses you deeper, sighing against you.
You let your fingers thread through his hair, legs wrapping around his waist as he stands in front of your bunk. You smile against his lips when his hands sneak up under your (his) shirt.
“Okay, I’ll hurry.” You whisper, smile never fading from your face as you jump from your bunk and rush to the bathroom.
**
He held your hand as you both walked to a little cafe down the street. He even twirled you around a few times on your walk, laughing and smiling with you.
He spoke with you about any and everything during breakfast, offering you bites of his scrambled eggs in return for bites of your pancakes. You look like one of those cheesy rom com couples who feed each other and can’t stop giggling.
He even goes as far to wipe your hands off for you with his napkin, planting kisses on the back and palm of your hands once he’s done.
“What’s gotten into you?” You ask as he pays the check.
“What do you mean?” He hums, leaving a tip and signing his name.
“What’s gotten into you? You’re being, I don’t know, you’re being odd.”
“Odd? Odd how?”
“Well I mean, I can’t remember the last time you took me on a date when we were on tour. And you, you kissed me on the bus this morning. You held my hand on the way here and through most of breakfast.”
“I think that’s called being your boyfriend.” He teases.
“No Con, be real with me. What happened?”
“Baby what are you-”
“You don’t do this, you don’t like PDA, you don’t-”
“I don’t mind PDA.” He lowers his voice. “I’m not a super huge fan of people seeing our personal stuff, but I’m not against it.”
“PDA is people seeing our personal stuff Con.”
He looks up at you, his eyes darting between yours. “But you like it.”
You give him a weird look. “PDA?”
“Yeah.”
“Who said I liked PDA?”
“I just know that you like-”
“Wait, did someone talk to you?”
“No, I overheard you yesterday with the girls. You made a comment about if I ever gave you that type of attention you could never be annoyed or something. And if I’m not showing you enough I’ll change that, I love you, and I can’t-”
“Hey,” You tug at his hand that’s now clutching his hair, threading your fingers through his and smiling at him. “You show me plenty.” You kiss the pad of his thumb. “Would I complain if you held my hand while we were with the group, no. Or if you woke me up like you did today every morning, no. But I know my boy, I know how you work, I know how you love.”
“I love you so much.” He blurts. “I don’t tell you enough, but I do love you. So fucking much. With my whole entire heart.”
You pout at him, “Baby,” You whine. “Stop, I love you too. I know you love me. I know it Bubs.”
“And I’ll hold your hand when we’re out. And I’ll kiss you good morning, and good night, and hello, and goodbye, and in the afternoon, and in the arenas, and on the bus.”
“Connor.” You hush him. “You’re okay Bubbas, I promise. Don’t change because of me.”
“Changing isn’t a bad thing,” He shakes his head. “I’m still me, I’m just me loving on you.”
You grin, “Quoting Mendes now eh?”
He gives you a bashful grin and shakes his head. “He’s a smart dude.”
“He is, he hired my boyfriend.”
Connor blushes and stares at you. “I’m so lucky.” He whispers.
“Shut up.” You push his face to the side, spotting the crew walking down the street, Shawn holding Connor’s camera. “Connor.”
“Yes Beautiful.” He grins.
“Shawn has your camera.”
“He what?” Connor whips his head around to see where you’re staring out the window. His eyes zero in on Shawn, and he’s torn. Torn between chasing Shawn down and taking his precious camera from the clumsy hands Shawn has, and staying with you, his precious girlfriend who he hasn’t shown much attention too lately.
He looks back at you, finding you already up from your seat, taking off for the door. He sits for a minute, watching you before he’s jumping up and chasing after you.
He catches up, grabbing your hand with his, tangling your fingers together by the time you’ve met up with the crew.
“Lovebirds! You found us.” Shawn cheers.
“Camera.” You demand, pointing to Connor’s camera.
Shawn snickers, turning to Brian before bringing it to his eye, snapping shots of you and Connor. Connor blushes, and you hide, trying to turn away from the lens view, hiding yourself in Connor’s arm. He just chuckles leaning down to kiss your cheek and Shawn snaps multiple pictures of the moment.
“That’s gonna be my new background.” Connor whispers in your ear, before pressing his lips to yours.
You've been best friends with Connor for years. It felt like you two had been conjoined at the hip your whole life, and practically you had been. Lately though, it’s been an adjustment for the both of you, with him touring with Shawn and you going to school straight out of High School.
Shawn had Brian on tour, Alessia had Olivia so it was only natural for Connor to fly you out the second your classes let out for summer.
You’ve been with him for a few shows now. Orlando is the next show, and you have a day to yourselves and it’s when you notice that something is up with Connor.
Connor is a quiet and shy kid, always has been. But with you? He’s more open, speaks freely about what’s on his mind, and isn’t shy to 2 am laughter.
Today, after an outing with Shawn at the beach that lasted about an hour for some publicity your noticing that Connor is curled into the corner of the couch in his room, phone in hand, bottom lip trapped between his teeth.
You wander over, plopping yourself at the end of the couch where his feet are, nudging his leg to get his attention. He looks up with his eyes only. You both just stare at each other for a moment, communicating with your eyes, and when his start to water a little you stand, pushing him forward by his shoulder so you can slip behind him.
He sighs, turning onto his stomach so he can lay on you, rest his head in the crook between your neck and shoulder. You smile softly when he gets comfy, hands reaching up to scratch his back softly.
He hums when you add a little pressure, letting your hands glide all the way up to the top of his head and back down as far as you can reach down his back. He presses a soft kiss to your neck and snuggles deeper into you, letting your warmth and smell soothe his restless brain.
“I’m here when your ready Bubba.” You whisper into his ear, letting your eyes flutter shut.
His arms wrap around your waist, locking you closer against him. It’s like he can’t get close enough to you, he needs you wrapped around him, and he needs to be wrapped around you.
Your cheeks reddened when he reached back and moved your leg to curl around his. This is such an intimate position, and while this wasn’t the first time you’ve laid like this, you have feelings this go around that you shouldn’t be having for your best friend.
Lately he’s been a little clingier, a little touchier, and a little sweeter. You’ve chalked it up to Shawn’s personality rubbing off on him, but there’s the small voice in the back of your brain telling you that he might feel the same and that he means more than he probably does with these little moves he’s been pulling.
“My brain won’t stop racing.” He mutters.
“What’s it racing over?” You whisper, playing with his hair now.
“You.”
Your heart stops, and a cold chill runs down your whole body. You gulp and freeze in place.
“Brian has a crush on you.” He continues. “Last night, at the arena, when you stopped to say hi before heading to your seats with Manny,” He groans a little, “You were in that pretty dress, the one I picked out when you were online shopping.”
You nod, knowing what you wore, and smiling at the memory of shopping with Connor over facetime, letting him log into your account on a clothing website so he could pick out some outfits for you.
“You’re so pretty in that dress.” He sighs, pulling back at little to peer at you with those big blue eyes. “Anyway, you left to go to your seats and Brian wouldn’t shut the fuck up about you.”
You pull back a little, brows furrowed. “So that’s a bad thing?”
“Yes.” He drops his head to your shoulder, groaning.
“Wow, thanks Con.” You start to shift under him, not grasping what he was trying to say.
That little voice in your head telling you that he was into you as well now making a 180 switch and asking you how you could ever think he might like you.
The second you start to move he’s reacting, suddenly hearing himself and how you’re taking what he’s just said.
“No,” He holds you tighter so you can’t move. “It’s a bad thing because you’re my girl.” He whispers, waiting for you to react.
You gasp and look at him, blue eyes bright and staring straight into your soul. “I’m what?”
“You’re my girl.”
You smile, cheeks pink, body buzzing in excitement.
“I almost punched him,” Connor goes on. “Talking about you in ways only I want to do. Talking this game like, ‘Connor bro I’m gonna ask her out, she’s so hot.’ Like no you’re not, she’s mine. And like yeah you’re hot, but fuck you’re gorgeous and beautiful and you deserve someone who’s gonna tell you that everyday.”
“You do tell me everyday.” You trace his nose so he’ll finally snap out of his rant and realize he’s there, with you.
He blinks three times before it clicks, before his brain tells him that he just told you that he has feelings for you.
“Gonna kiss me or not Bubba?” You grin at him, giggling nervously.
He sighs in relief, leaning forward and capturing your lips in the softest kiss. He’s gentle, polite and a perfect gentleman leaving it at just a kiss and not taking it too far too fast.
“You’re my girl?” He asks softly when he pulls away.
“I’ve always been your girl Bubba.” You smile, leaning up and kissing him again.
**
“Good Morning Gorgeous.” Connor kisses your bare shoulder, arms securely holding you.
“Morning.” You breathe out, eyes still shut, back against his chest as he kisses a line of kisses up your neck.
“Just got a message from Shawn, he wants to meet up with Brian for breakfast after the gym.”
“What time is it?” You ask.
“5.”
“Connor!” You whine, burrowing yourself further into the sheets. “It’s too fucking early.”
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to get a ‘Good Morning Kiss’ before I get ready for the gym.”
You roll over, huffing as you claw yourself out of the sheets, peaking an eye at him. He looks heavenly. Morning sun making his slightly tanned skin glow, hair tousled from your romp in the sheets, lips swollen from you biting on them.
“Good morning.” You lean up and peck his lips.
He smiles, cheeks pink. “Best morning ever.” He exhales, flopping onto his back.
“I wanna go back to sleep, can I?” You whine, lips pouted at him.
He grins, leaning up and pecking your lips four more times before nodding and clambering out of bed. “Sleep Gorgeous, I’ll come get you when we’re done with the gym.”
**
It was 8 by the time Connor was back and dragging you down to meet the boys at the nice continental breakfast the hotel you were staying at offered. Connor was giggling at your grumpy morning face, promising you they had iced coffee at the counter and that he’d make your plate.
“I wanna sleeeeeeeep.” You whined, leaning into him as the elevator door closed.
“You’re so cute in the morning.”
“Connor, you woke me up so early, you kept me up so late. I’m tired.” You were pouting, and totally aware that you were acting like a child, but he was eating it up so you didn’t mind your childish ways.
“We’ll take a nap today, okay?” He wraps a strand of your hair around his ringed finger, letting you lean into him. “I already did a shoot with Shawn this morning after the gym, the sunrise was beautiful so we used that as the backdrop. But since we already did the shoot I’ve got the afternoon free until I need to be there at the final soundcheck. We’ll nap, and cuddle.”
You nod into his chest, smiling when he kissed your forehead. You lean your head up, puckering your lips, eyes closed, asking for a kiss. He gladly gives you what you want, pulling away when the elevator door opened.
He lead you to the table Shawn was already sitting at, fingers tangled with yours, dropping you off at a seat, kissing the top of your head before going to get you your coffee and breakfast.
Shawn looks up, watching Connor walk away from you and then glancing at your blushed complexion. “Hi.” He smiles. “That was new.” He nods towards Connor.
“Um, yeah.” You sit up straighter, playing with the strings of the hoodie you’re wearing.
“And you’re in his hoodie.” Shawn hums, sipping at his cup of tea.
You look down and blush harder at the fact that you were in Connor’s hoodie, he must of done that on purpose when he offered it for you.
“This is gonna be a fun morning.” Shawn grins into his cup as he watches Brian walk over and take the seat next to him.
You look over your shoulder at Connor, he’s buttering toast for you.
“Y/n, hey.” Brian says catching your attention.
“Bri,” Shawn starts but Brian shoots him a glare that shuts him up with a soft chuckle.
“Y/n I was gonna ask if you had any plans this afternoon?” Brian asks you, sitting up straight in his seat.
You inhale, eyes flickering to Shawn’s that are now focused on something behind you.
“Yeah she’s busy.” Connor says, sliding your plate in front of you, and setting your coffee down with a kiss to your cheek. “Iced coffee, and I noticed they had some french vanilla creamer so I put a small pour of that in there for you.”
“Thank you Bubba.” You smile up at him.
Brian stares at the two of you with furrowed brows. Shawn’s just laughing, shaking his head at the situation.
Connor shoots Brian a glare before he walks off to get his own breakfast.
“Brian,” You say softly.
“Don’t.” He shakes his head. “I should have known.”
“I’m sorry,” You cringe, feeling so uncomfortable.
“Don’t be, it’s okay.” He shakes his head.
“It’s just,” You sigh, looking over at Connor for a moment and then back to Shawn and Brian. “I’ve been in love with him for a long time, and this is new, and things were said last night. But,” You giggle. “Brian, I kind of have to thank you.”
“What?” He and Shawn say at the same time.
“I guess you said something about me at the last show,” Brian blushes so hard his ears turn red. “But whatever you said kicked his ass into gear, because,” You look over and smile when you catch him staring at you. “Now we’re something.” You shrug.
“You guys are cute, that’s for sure.” Shawn nods.
Connor walks back and takes the seat next to you, noticing you haven’t touched your food yet. “What’s wrong? Did I forget something?” He asks.
“No,” You shake your head. “Was waitin on you.”
He smiles, staring at you. “Waitin on me?”
“Have been for awhile.” You shrug, giggling as Shawn and Brian choke on their food at burn you just threw Connor’s way.
“Yeah well,” Connor shrugs, leaning closer to you, “I wanted to make sure everything was perfect.”
