beginnings
sometimes the beginnings are the hardest.
when joowon comes to, he’s struck by the fact that he’s no longer in the couch. it’s alarming because - yunho and jaehyun both know he enjoys sleeping beside hyun the most whether it’s comfortable or not. well, hyun or their fateful leader who has yet to pay them a visit. with the extra shifts he’s been picking up at the coffee shop and his late visits to a certain dreamwalker, all that coupled with trying to show the best of himself whenever they’re with hyun, joowon has had to sleep in intervals. intervals means he falls asleep anywhere his body can get a break even if it’s after a jarring tournament with hyun and hyemi.
he assumes that’s what happened just as he assumes that someone must have moved him from the couch to the bedroom. hyun doesn’t use it much so it doesn’t have the nice wear that the couch does. it’s a nice room though, jowwon sits up and realizes that despite the younger’s insomnia he’s probably done all he can to try and make the room homey for himself. but it’s bare minus the calming mood light nestled on a low nightstand, and the bundled array of sheets.
joowon can think of a few other reasons why it might be impossible for hyun to sleep here. the white walls and the bare space remind him of a time when hyun and him were closer. a time that joowon and the others are trying to decide if they should bring back or keep buried in his psyche. that’s a thought for another day, joowon’s shuffling out the bed and towards the light filtering from the living room. he’s unaware just how tired he’s been when his body starts to weigh in on every step.
it’d be nice - he decides - if his powers involved the blood in his body turning to lead, or maybe an outer skeleton like titanium, completely encrusting his body. then again - it’d be rather impossible for whoever brought him here to have done it. he takes a breath - touches his arms and face to make sure it’s flesh and not metal before heading out to the living room.
hyemi’s been spending a lot of time here since the first day jaehyun invited her. while joowon isn’t completely sure why the elder decided to invite her, it’s not his business to question it. jaheyun and taewoon alike, arguably know what’s best for hyun and joowon, he’s always going to prefer having their band first and everyone else second. she’s nice, less overbearing than yunho but joowon’s almost positive the two fo them care for hyun in the same way, even if it manifests differently. joowon’s spent the days as close to hyun as the younger will let him and navigating the atmosphere that results from them all being here. being here and quite literally dancing around the truth of who they are with someone who still doesn’t trust them.
and why would she? jaheyun’s decision to invite her goes hand in hand with the decision to not tell her who they are, what they really are and finding their way around that has been, awkward.
joowon walks out the yunho seated in his spot - rude - and jaehyun cleaning the stove. has he been out that long? food’s done and all? hyun is still on the couch but they’re no longer playing games, hyemi is helping him with class work and yunho is pretending not to be interested, typical. joowon can see the glances he makes every five seconds to see what’s going on. he’ll ask hyun about it later, pry and try to make himself more useful than anyone here.
joowon makes his way to the kitchen first, entering jaehyun’s space by handing him a few stray ladles from the stove.
“thanks for moving me earlier.” it’s hard to say it without the pang of annoyance he feels that yunho’s taken his spot. but he is grateful, jaehyun knows how hard it’s been for him to get rest lately, the least joowon can do is say thank you. jaehyun’s response is a hum and a reach past him in order to wipe down the counter.
‘what are you talking about?’ is what he says once he’s done and drying his hands. “from the couch? you moved me to the bedroom.” joowon half expects jaehyun to deny it, to do what he always does when he doesn’t want to take credit for all he does to care for them. hard to do when he’s in an apron and the exact reason the kitchen and surrounding area isn’t a pigsty. but jaehyun’s facial expression isn’t quite that, it’s pure confusion. ‘I'm not the one to thank.’
so that’s strange. instead of pressing further, jowown’s spent enough time to know when the elder isn’t lying. dumbfounded he moves towards the couch, laying his elbow deep in yunho’s shoulder.
“I never thought you’d be strong enough to move me but thanks.” ‘funny of you to assume I’d even think about moving you.’
joowon’s relationship with yunho is - strange. yunho is older but anyone looking in on them might assume the opposite and might even assume the tension between them is more than sibling rivalry. that’s all it is though, if there’s anyone who might understand him the most, it’s yunho. taewoon is good at handling them, jaehyun is always good at talking but yunho gets it because the emotions are the same, even fi conveyed differently. that’s where the disconnect comes but other than that it’s always bickering with them, no malice in sight. even now when joowon doesn’t lift his elbow and yunho shoots him a glare.
it’s weird though, because if yunho hadn’t done it. that leaves hyun and hyemi, and he’s sure he doesn’t walk in his sleep. but hyun is definitely not strong enough to lift him, not matter how much soup they’ve been loading him with and hyemi? well it doesn’t make sure for hyemi to care about his wellbeing like that.
as if he can read minds yunho nudges joowon off to get his attention, ‘the ones you should thank are right there.’
so, joowon should thank the stars he’s not a detective because he’s bad at this. second, the more he replays the past few seconds, the more warmth starts to bloom in his chest. hyemi’s sleeves are still rolled up, she and hyun had given him small glances when he’d made his way to the kitchen. neither had said anything and if joowon were more invested he’d have seen the smiles, the looks, remembering the scent that’s to different from hyun’s own lingering close to his clothes.
but he’s only known routine when it’s their group, so the tendency is to block hyemi out and try to fit hyun somewhere, anywhere. yunho’s acceptance of her place with them had begun with hostility and then quiet, reserved and just a little catty. for joowon, he’s never too outward with his expression, his worry of hyemi taking away the one thing he’s been wishing for since he’d regained part of his memories. he’s been smiling, hesitant to be in their space, share their space. now though, he’s sure he has no other option. hyun trusts her, in ways that the others might not be able to but that’s not their call. in the same way hyemi doesn’t trust them in the way hyun might. in the way they want hyun to.
joowon turns to them finally, and scoots his way between yunho and hyun to wrap his arms around the younger’s head and rub his fist into his hair. the statics that spark up tickle and joowon is quick to hide them in his sweatshirt while the younger squirms. a light in the kitchen flickers and he hears jaehyun call his name once before he relents.
“when’d you get so strong, you’re lifting me and tucking me into bed what a prince.” hun’s face is red, ducked further into the screen of his computer and joowon laughs. it’s loud, genuine and fond. and he uses that to finally turn to hyemi. “thank you, for earlier.”
‘it’s not a big deal.’ hyun’s mumbling the words and joowon’s chest tightens, the urge to hold the younger close is strong. he turns and finds hyemi has the same look on his face.
they can do this. they don’t have much of a choice if they want to remain around someone they both care so much about. but joowon thinks maybe now it seems more doable than before.
