#consolecowboys

[unclesass]

[blindninjastudios]

Console Cowboys: Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs

Thank you for attending this open house at Mandus Manor.  Would you like to start the tour of the house and ground? Excellent. Right this way.

As you can see all the doors are intricately hand carved and the decor is just to die for!  If you will please follow me upstairs I will show you just the greatest nursery.

Yes the back wall needs a little work but it is fully furnished and comes with 2 ghost children that are a great disciplinary tool, just imagine saying, "Johnny you stop pulling your sister's hair or I'm going to lock you in with the demon children again!" Johnny is sure to listen right away.  Now the house is just a small part of the estate, Why don't we head outside.

Don't mind the pig carcasses, there is a fully functional slaughterhouse on the grounds that we will tour in a bit, but just imagine fresh bacon all the time!

As you enter the slaughter house we will see the worker's cafeteria.  Now I know you're worried about having to pay all these workers to run this place for your but good news...

the workers are inhuman manpigs that you can just lock up after their shift! No unions, rights or pay! They are the perfect factory workers.  Now if you'll follow me we'll head down through some of the sub levels and you can see how great this place really is!

Here is the main control room for the factory, does it remind you of anything?

It's a tie fighter window!  You don't know what a tie fighter is?  Sorry the disembodied voice that is in charge of the factory can see the future and he had a heavy hand in designing this facility.  To give you important information he will just ring you up on whatever phone you happen to be by.  He's the best plant manager you could ask for.

Here we are in the pigman church and I think this is where we will end our tour.  So are you interested in purchasing this wonderful property?

[blindninjastudios]

Console Cowboys: More Payday 2

Now we here at blind ninja studios have been enjoying the game Payday 2, and we covered the game in our brand spanking new podcast Console Cowboys.  But enough shameless self-promotion, lets talk the game.

This game is a first person shooter where you attempt to pull off heists to acquire money and experience so you can level up, buy better guns and skills and make more money.  There is a varied selection of maps with different goals.  One early heist wants you to steal jewels from a jewelry store while a later multi-day heist tasks you with stealing paintings, trading the paintings to a senator, and then framing said senator.

The context of these heists can change depending on how you are handling it.  For example the above-mentioned senator job can be handled with stealth saving you from an unhealthy shoot out with the cops and netting you more cash, but if stealth fails the mission changes and the job becomes harder.

While Casey posted about his psychopathic one man bank jobs the most fun you will probably have is playing with others online.  Ideally it works best with friends you already know but the game actually has a decent community.

In short I would highly recommend this game to any one who is looking for a tense, action packed game that lets you live out your dream of being a modern day thief.

[blindninjastudios]

Console Cowboys: Payday 2

Let's talk Payday 2 for minute, specifically let's talk about robbing a bank on your own in Payday 2. 

In order to successfully rob a bank there are a couple rules you need to follow.

Rule #1: Dead men tell no tales

This man is telling tales.

Now he is no longer telling tales.

Rule #2: The "Man" must die, sorry

This is the man.

This is the dead man.

Now that you know the 2 main rules it's time to get to work.  First you need to lure the 3 pathing guards outside or out of the sight of civilians.  If you feel any reservations about killing the guards just remember they are terrible people and want to prevent you from having all of that delightful money.  Also, why aren't you worried about killing all the civilians? you psychopath!

Oh look, here's one! Now to answer his pager so very convincingly.

Here is 2!  Now where could 3 be...

Ah ha! in the stairwell what a clever guard.

After the 3 pathing guards are taken care of its time to take over the bank's camera system.

Oh look another guard.  Silly guards.

Now I own the cameras!

I guess now it's time to get to work.  So make sure you take out any bank employees (they're stealing from the company so it's ok) and locate the vault.

Here it is! now it's time to drill it!

Ok now you have about 6 minutes while this drills, what to do...

I know, mess up some paper work and shoot some computers! Hey what's that over there?

Another safe! so drill that one too.

The safe is open, time to get to work.

Well that was fun, I guess it's time to go.  Just one thing left to do...

Display the corpses of your enemies in the street!

And then it's time to leave and count your booty.

So that's basically how you rob a bank in PayDay 2.  Any questions?