Jan 11, 19
I got distracted. I let someone else take my attention from my own life and my own man. Bb is the most loyal, loving, man I could hope for. I feel guilty for feelings I never acted on, nor did I intend to. It was enough for me to lose focus on him.
I know I’m human. I know he’ll get distracted too. I just wish I hadn’t lost my friend over it. But if Mn dropped me so easily, I was clearly disposable the entire time🤷♀️
I don’t mourn my friendship with Mn (as much) anymore. I just want to get the fuck out of here and get a new job, a new home, a new life. I’m spinning my wheels in the worst way. I’m impatient for growth.
I’m disappointed in myself, but I’m not going to hate myself for having human emotions and urges. Now I just have to not hate myself for becoming the workplace pariah.
Also I’m an idiot who ruined my no-smoking streak
