[012] loves the person they love //
Breathe in, breathe out. Hammering against his ribcage, it feels as though his heart is simply going to beat its way out of his chest at any moment. There’s no pinpoint in time of when it started, no exact date that he can recall that first subtle flutter in the pit of his stomach when his eyes landed on the only person that mattered - Ezra.
What he does remember, though, is the moment he first saw him. “Who’s that guy?” he’d asked one of his friends, the one who was the kind of person who knew literally everyone. The boy with the sad eyes, he thought to himself as he watched the black haired figure for a moment and listened to his friend long enough to get a name before tuning him out. Ezra Leekpai, a name that sounded familiar but that he couldn’t seem to place. It didn’t much matter, because just as quickly as he had spotted him, he was gone. Vanished like a ghost and all Apollo was left with was the fleeting memory of the few seconds his eyes followed him through a crowd of people.
The second time Apollo sees the boy with the sad eyes, alcohol swims in his veins and his vision is blurry from intoxication. He doesn’t mistake what he sees though and he grabs whatever friend is closest to him and points with a smirk on his face, calling Ezra the most beautiful fucking person that he has ever seen in his entire life. His friend’s face screws up in amusement, the corners of his eyes wrinkling as he laughs, ”And as available as God himself, my dude. Better off setting your sights on someone in your actual league.” But the thing is that Apollo has never been good at listening to the words of others, or following the rules.
What he does remember is the first time they spoke. Six months had passed since he’d first laid eyes on Ezra, and in that time he had come to learn that they shared a rough circle of friends. What that meant, however, was essentially nothing because halfway sharing a circle of friends in their world meant that it could be like it was forever. Some of Ezra’s friends knew some of Apollo’s, and some of Apollo’s friends knew Ezra but they weren’t close and they didn’t run together specifically - not in the way that would allow him to get close enough to know him. But fate is always the ever crafty being, and always has other plans.
The molly pill goes down smooth as Apollo knocks back the rest of the bottle of water, tipping his head back for a moment as his eyes flutter closed to relish the feeling of the cool liquid. Seconds pass before he shakes his head and wipes the corners of his mouth with the back of his hand, collapsing into a nearby sofa and stretching his legs out. Downstairs, the music is thumping and pulsating and he can hear it as he sits, waiting for the stimulant to attack his system and flood it with dopamine. It takes less time for him than most, since he’s not a consistent user and when it hits he’s on his feet and back at the house party with a wide smile on his lips.
Time is lost, seconds melding together as he moves through the crowd, searching with dilated pupils for the boy with the sad eyes that he knows he saw earlier that evening. Apollo finds him after a few minutes, a drink in his hand and surrounded by people that Apollo is vaguely familiar with but that he doesn’t know well. Hesitation floods him for a second before it’s cancelled out by the drug and alcohol induced courage, prompting him to saunter over and peer at Ezra’s drink with a lazy, nonchalant gaze. ”Shame, it’s empty,” he drawls, glancing up at him. ”Bullshit that nobody’s paying enough fuckin’ attention to get someone like you another one. C’mon,” he says over the thrum of the music before grabbing Ezra’s hand and remarking to himself how incredibly soft it is, pulling him away from the small group and over to where the drinks are, pouring him a refill of whatever the fuck is still available at that point. Apollo is mid-pour when red and blue fills the living room and the people around him freeze before the realization seems to hit everyone all at once, sending them scattering like rats.
Cops, Apollo knows and abandons the drink, grabbing for Ezra’s hand once more to drag him from the party - to keep them both from getting busted and spending a night in jail until their parents can come get them. It marks the beginning of a friendship that’s forged over dark city nights and bad decisions fueled by alcohol; over mistakes and fights; over wandering eyes and fingers and heated kisses and the satisfaction of lust; over spending time in the back of a police car and a jail cell - which is Apollo’s fault.
Through all of it, Apollo watches the sadness that he had first seen in Ezra’s eyes slowly dissipate as it’s replaced with the light of life once again. There comes a day when he looks up to find Ezra looking at him, brown eyes bright and shining and it sparks something in the pit of his stomach and makes his entire body feel warm. It makes his heart beat speed up just slightly in his chest as he simply stared back at him, knowing that no matter what the other man says, he’s not the only one that isn’t sure what he would do if Apollo hadn’t so boldly approached him that night at the party. He’s not the only one whose life had been changed.
Breathe in, breathe out. Apollo’s heart is no longer hammering against his ribcage as he lays in the darkness of the bedroom, eyes staring up at the ceiling and ears tuned in to the gentle, rhythmic sound of breathing, signaling that Ezra is sound asleep next to him. One corner of his mouth twitches up in a smile as he sidles closer to the warm body. The once subtle flutter in the pit of his stomach is no longer subtle and Apollo knows without any uncertainty that he loves him. He loves Ezra, and he thinks that he could probably list a thousand reasons why. But at the end of the day, he loves Ezra because Ezra is worth loving - and there is nothing that can change his mind about that.
