I Remember | A letter of sorts
I remember all of these promises I made to you, and I’m sorry I haven’t kept my end of the deal. I’ve lost myself up here, swallowed by books and school, but I want to start acting on them again.
I know I said I’d write you, and I know I failed you for about four years now but if you’re still out there… this is me writing to you. Tommy, Katherine, Sarah, John… please, please still be there. I need you four now more than I ever thought I could. School isn’t what I expected it would but then again it’s not your normal school. Everyone here is on the same kind of scholarship really, so everyone here is pompous. Well, not all of them but most of them. Tommy, there’s this one group of about four people that cleverly call themselves the Four that you would absolutely love. Kings and Queens I tell you, Kings and Queens. Sarah—you would love the library here. They have every book you could ever imagine, some I’ve never even heard of. I just, I miss you guys and I want you to know I’ll be home soon. Not much longer till I get to take my final… exam… and if I pass I’m home bound.
Lying wasn’t easy, especially to people you cared about. Letting the pen fall to the windowsill, Jason untangled his body and let the journal fall to the floor. He had no idea where any of them lived, where any of them were in their lives now. Writing to them made him feel like a child to scared to let go of an imaginary friend. He was hanging on to the ghosts of his past but what was he supposed to do? He didn’t belong here, not like the rest of them. Each one from a different family, each one knowing about their powers and not stumbling into them on accident; deep down he was jealous of them all. Even the Covenant Four.
Just thinking of their names made him think of his little scuffle with Colton Stanford. The name alone made his face hurt. Of all the four, he was the one Jason chose to unleash his anger on and he learned the hard way just how strong he was. What scared him though wasn’t the witches strength, it was the fact that even when the blonde knew he was in the wrong he wanted to keep tempting the other; he wanted to see just how far he could push him. If Jason were a cat his curiosity would surely have him killed.
Scooping the pen and journal up, he quickly sat back down and began writing again as his memories started flowing through him.
Tommy, do you remember that one time you and I went to the art museum? They were showcasing some of Frida Kahlo’s works. We spent hours debating what she was trying to convey with her piece What I Saw In The Water… I know it’s probably silly but I constantly think about that day. The way you so stubbornly tried to make me see what you saw, the way you so patiently spoke about it as if it was your painting and not hers. No one really talks like that out here. It’s all point-blank or just void of any actual emotion. You’re going to make fun of me when you read this, but I actually miss having people like you around. You always kept me on my toes.
It was more than that though, at least to Jason. Here he was quiet and reserved but back home when he was growing up with his mother and his few friends he was light and playful. His brilliant mind was always spewing out these facts and fantasies that all of his friends would sit for hours and listen to. There was no hierarchal battle, there was no power to be sought out; everyone was equal—mostly. Putting the pen and journal down again, Jason moved over to his bed and slid under the covers. His eyes glanced towards the darkened ceiling as he listened to Drake’s snoring. He knew he wasn’t going to send the letter, he wasn’t even going to finish writing it he had just wanted to clear his mind. For you see, it wasn’t the paintings or the friends he remembered or missed. It was being in love. Jason remembered being in love. With art, with Tommy, with life in general; he was once so full of love.
His eyes began to flutter between the realm of awake and asleep as his mind began to quiet. He could remember how to love again, even here, but right now he needed to focus on more important things. He needed to survive the horrible four, but even they weren’t the top of his list. No, he was nearing the time for his Rite and he needed nature to will him to pass for if he fails forgetting life and love will be the last of his troubles.
His eyes finally succumbed to his exhaustion as his mind grew dark. Today he remembered being in love, tomorrow—tomorrow he would remember something else, something more terrifying than he realized. Jason would remember that he has yet to truly learn the gift nature has granted him and that magic comes with a price—one he wasn’t so willing to pay.