#conversationing

[dinosers]

caughz hai dino!! :D

long time no see!! whats up?

[eluvion]

👀🦻

HI i took forever to get to this sorry!! work has been crazy lately but im finally getting a break!! anyway this is from a wip lovingly named "crash out emotional devastation reverse robin tuesday" in my google docs <33

Ra’s envisioned something different: a return that cakes Gotham in blood, dramatic motions building up to Tim choosing what legacy to inherit, the whole nine yards. 

But Tim doesn’t work that way. He comes back under the cover of night and he starts setting up dominoes. Gotham is a city of circumstances. Crime Alley is built from a history of death, a history of the simultaneous stability and fragility of wealth. Shifting the balance of power can be done dramatically, the way Bruce does it—almost akin to flipping the board in a chess game. A complete restructuring, a new predator for the ecosystem to adapt to. 

But that can be crude, ostentatious, too much of a presence in too large a space. It gets eyes on you, but attention is always a double edged sword. If you come into the environment as a predator, you can’t balance dealing with every type of prey without some falling through. There’s a reason there needs to be a million fucking Bats in this city—there needs to be more coverage than just one man. 

But this city’s circumstances aren’t so much a chess match as they are a game of pool. Precision is in the angles of things, in the adjustments to the untraceable vicissitudes of Gotham. This city is not always built by will. If Tim’s learned one thing from his mother, it’s that half of power here is a willingness to gamble, to take a chance on randomness. 

So Tim slips in, avoiding Stephanie’s cameras, and he makes his way to Crime Alley. It’s nostalgic, almost. He remembers when Janet would turn precise and sharp, picking apart anything in her path with a violence. Tim would escape out the window and take the bus into Crime Alley. He would buy the working girls meat buns from the Taiwanese couple Falcone laundered money through, and he would wander through the crowded, underfunded libraries, and he would slip through the crowds unnoticed and alone. And then he would come back to the Manor and sit next to Janet as she smoked through a pack of cigarettes. He would always buy some when he was out, because when he gave it to her, her lips would twitch and she would tuck a strand of hair behind his ear, the only touches he would feel in weeks. 

Good business sense, Janet would say. Always have something to give and something to keep.

[dinosers]

coughs hey dino! i lowk think ur my only moot i had on scratch first then tumblr lmfai anywhoo hai wsp!!!

hii!! we havent talked in forever lol i think the last time was that one conversation involving goatlings?? how have you been!!

[eluvion]

OUGH.... 🍓 for the emoji wip game!!

!!!!!!! this one never made it out of the depths of my google docs wip folder but!!!! here's a snippet from my team red wip, which is inspired from chapter 9 of in technicolor by deniigiq

warnings for attempted rape and violence

It’s scary that Red doesn’t move when Wade rips the guy off of him, just shudders in place. It’s scarier that Red flinches away from the blood when Wade cuts the guy’s damn head off.

But the scariest fucking part is that Red doesn’t even move towards at the body. He doesn’t bitch about the sanctity of life, or glare in Wade’s general direction, or do any of the Red Things he’s supposed to. He just backs into the other wall and shakes like a fucking puppy in the rain.

“Red,” Wade says, sitting across from him. Gotta let him see the escape route, even if it means Wade’s gotta sit in the puddle of blood. “Red, you okay?”

He doesn’t answer. He just balls himself up into a tiny Red-ball and breathes ragged and nasty. Wade doesn’t want to touch Red, not after… fuck. Fuck.

Wade pokes him in the knee. There. Touch that ain’t really a touch. 

“Fine,” Red whispers, the words choking him. “‘M fine.”

Sure he is.

“Okay,” Wade says, because Matt really should have his well-deserved breakdown in a room with a ceiling, at least. “Up-and-up, Redthew.”

Wade offers him a hand. Red takes it wordlessly, and nope, Wade fucking hates that. Matt is supposed to be Catholically stoic and refuse help and make this more difficult than it has any right being. A Matt that accepts help on the first try is a Matt that’s really damn shaken.

He thinks, briefly, about calling Nelson, but he figures when Red is himself again, it should be his choice. Wade’s just gotta get Red somewhere that has four fucking walls. 

So he half-carries Matt to his apartment, silent and twitchy, shallow breaths taking up too much space in the night. 

[eluvion]

HAPPY GRADUATION!!!!!!!

:DDDDDDD

[eluvion]

did you ever read all new all different point one? That issue should introduce u to a rlly important character in soules run (my fav)!! He and matt have SUCH an interesting n complex relationship Trust Me Man its good. I see u talk abt literature on here and i just know u would have the best thoughts abt this shit dude - comics anon

YES I DID and im guessing Your Guy is blindspot??? anshfjfjfnfb this panel is making me!!!!!!!

im kind of obsessed with the idea of straddling the line between powerful and powerless and how so often individual power and individual worth just. collapse in the face of systemic oppression!! and how it takes So Much Work to redefine that individual worth!! and like obv being an immigrant, esp if youre not documented, is a different situation than being disabled in america, but there are lines to be drawn there!!

ALSO ALSO I am 👀👀👀 at hannah saying that he should be the one taking care of them and just. Tragic Siblings Implications of their relationship

TY FOR THE REC LOVE <33

[eluvion]

do you have any dazai-centric fic recs? i've read through yours and intimatopia's fics already and seem to have picked up a new blorbo

HELLO HI THIS TOOK FOREVER SORRY FINALS WEEK ALMOST KILLED ME

firstly, intimitopia's fics are so wonderful and lovely and im so glad that you read their writing it deserves everything!! secondly, most of my recs are in my bookmarks, most of which i keep public, so you're always welcome to look through those!! third, because my taste in angst can be very intense, please please read the tags for all of these.

now onto the actual rec list!!

The Many Pleasant Deaths of Dazai Osamu by Allegory_for_Hatred

43k, gen this was done for Whumptober 2019, and it is very well done!! short and angsty one-shots, wonderful characterization - I love it a lot. This author also has a few other angst pieces and a "dazai goes to hogwarts" au

A mouth to empty into (series) by osamuchuu

Soukoku, and learning to love and also, to live. Featuring addict!Dazai, addiction, relapse, recovery, and relationship building. ~23k, soukoku literally one of my favorite fic series of all time!! ive always liked the idea of dazai being an addict, and chuuya in this series is so wonderfully written and realistic

Head Full of Lies by AbsoluteNegation

Chuuya embarks on a drastic course of action. Dazai is the last one to know why. ~125k, soukoku VERY well done, literally one of my favorite fics ever!! featuring the complications and mixed feelings of being raised by mori ougai, mafia boss chuuya, and some of the best writing ive ever read

the orange sunset (series) by Metallic_Sweet

In a world where Oda Sakunosuke survives, Dazai Osamu becomes the Boss of the Port Mafia. ~30k, soukoku and odazai this series made me stare at a wall for like ten minutes its so heartbreaking and well written, and it has the same kind of feeling that beast does where everyone/someone surviving is not a good think and actually hurts a lot

hopelessly devoted by soukocacola (hongbabey)

"Get your grades up." Oda tells him. "Then we'll talk."  Well, Dazai thinks. If he's going to be miserable, the least he can do is make Chuuya miserable, too. Maybe then Chuuya will ditch him and Dazai can fail out of college with no regrets.  ~129k, ongoing, soukoku everything i could ask from a college au!! the angst is so good, and i absolutely love how setting everything in a different context makes the pain even sharper. fyodor IS ooc but its such a GOOD ooc that i accepted it

pockets full of stones by Misila

It was like talking to a wall. Or it would be, if walls could talk back and be annoying and try their best to push everyone away whenever they weren’t alright. 2.7k, kunikidazai very horrifying and angsty (compliment)!! brings up a lot of the realities of what dazai's ability could mean.

given and taken by somnium_sin

Dazai knows that death and life are part of one another. They are not their antithesis. Oda Sakunosuke is alive. (It must count for something, the way in which Dazai unravels so quickly.) Oda is alive and he doesn't remember Dazai. (Dazai feels like he’s dying.) 42k, ongoing, odazai so so so good i love this so much. takes everything i love about odazai as a ship and stretches it out to 42k words i am so so ahhhhhhhh

it takes a village by magicandlight

He's been sick for weeks when he finally gives in and goes to a free clinic. If it weren't for his promise to Odasaku, he wouldn't have bothered. Dazai would have just allowed whatever mysterious illness he had to kill him. But he promised Oda he'd be better, and he hasn't done that yet. Maybe it's cancer, he thinks. The symptoms technically fit. (Spoiler: It's Not.) ~23k, ongoing, soukoku i had a lot of hesitation when i read the tags (im not really one for reading pregnancy or my favorite characters having children) but when i read it, those doubts instantly melted away. the fic is really well done and beautifully written, and in the last few chapters especially, it delves into how dazai parents with depression. i always love trans dazai, and in the extra snippets theres also trans tanizaki which makes me so !!!!

carve your love into my skin by Dont_Wake_The_Writer

Chuuya looks underneath Dazai's bandages without his permission. This breach of trust isn't one mendable with words alone. or Dazai is the Book itself, and only so many pages remain. ~82k, ongoing, soukoku another one of my favorite fics ever!! this is so well written and angsty and i love it a lot. especially in the later chapters, it carves into the history of humanity - a lot of it very recent history. as a person raised in america, i never got to hear about the war crimes we committed in detail, and this fic really delves into that. paired with the beautiful writing i!! could not stop thinking abt this fic for like a month

thank you for the ask anon!!