If Santana wasn’t so sore, she’d be making innuendos toward Cooper about meeting up on a rooftop bar-- the fact that that had been where they’d first gotten into trouble, had basically first started being them. It had been an amazing night, no doubt.
Now, ten years later, she was dealing with the thrill of a green light to pursue a project of her own, and the fury of having Cooper suddenly pulling some sort of authority bullshit on her. It hadn’t felt like the bipolar face-to-faces they’d had before-- or even a vie for dominance that they made toward each other constantly. It had felt like a power play-- like he’d been trying to take her down a peg for even trying to make a move without him. And even in the glow of her forward momentum, it left a sour taste in her mouth.
But she knew she’d need either his or Parker’s help in putting together the rest of the cast for the test pilot, and he’d been around long enough to be aware of who she might want to talk to. Santana had known this from the moment JT had made his announcement. She just wished she was making this meeting on more equal ground.
Not wanting to appear anything but on the top of her game, she poured a glass of red, ankles carefully tucked together, and a pleasant smile on her lips as Cooper joined her. “Fancy meeting you here, Boss.”
Those are the days that bind us together
forever
And those little things define us forever
forever
All this bad blood here won't you let it die?
It's been cold for years, won't you let it lie?
This was probably a terrible idea to go out with Cooper Anderson of all people. For one thing, Santana barely tolerated him. For another, despite Blaine's assurances to the contrary, a small part of her still feared he was into her girl....or that Dani might be eventually into him too. For another, although she had managed to eat toast today a few times and keep it down, she was still barely over being sick and a little weak. But she was sick of being in her apartment and she wanted out, whatever it took...and she did feel sort of bad that Blaine was so upset with her constantly fighting with Cooper. So she agreed to go out with him, even as she braced herself for disaster. Meeting him outside his apartment, she walked with him in silence for some time before finally commenting, "So...did your roommate ever come, or...?
Cooper
The silence was a little unbearable. Cooper had been, a little too enthusiastically maybe, looking forward to spending a little time with Santana. He'd been hoping to get to know her, and fix this tension that was between them. He just felt like he couldn't even be friendly lately without Santana snapping at him. Though admittedly, he could do with less borderline flirting with her girlfriend. The silence though...was making him reconsider his choice to even come out tonight. It wasn't going to go well and he was only just now realizing it. At her question, he shrugged. "Still nothing. But I have been spending more time with my ex and her kid..." He added that on, like he was trying to justify going back to such a manipulative ex girlfriend. "She's...not as bad as I remember her."
Santana
Santana raised an eyebrow, turning to look at him more closely. "Yeah if you gotta describe her as "not as bad" she sounds like a whacked out headcase bitch from hell. Why even bother?"
Cooper
"She's the only one showing interest in. And at least this way I don't accidentally hit on someone's partner." He shrugged again. "The kid's adorable, too. Maybe I should just drop out of the program all together and see how it goes?"
Santana
Santana rolled her eyes, scoffing aloud. "Alright, let's see. You can either be assigned an insanely hot woman who you don't already have baggage with, or you can go back to Psycho with Spawn and hope you don't get your balls cut off. If she hasn't already. Gee, choices choices."
Cooper
Cooper normally would have been a little put off, even offended, but it was the words combined with the tone Santana used that caused him to laugh. She didn't even know how crazy his ex was but it was like she knew exactly how to describe her. "Yeah, okay. It sounds stupid to say out loud. I mean she pops in my life after four years when I join this program and pulls the whole 'no one will love you like I do' crap. And 'oh hey I have a kid you have to get back together with me or I'll guilt trip you because I'm a suffering single mom'. Like that's supposed to woo me?" He made overly exaggerating gestures with his hands while imitating his ex in an irritating higher pitched tone than his usual voice.
Santana
"Oh my god," Santana dropped dead in her tracks, laughing incredulously as she turned to look at him. "You have to be joking. And you're even CONSIDERING this?" She is still laughing, but as her eyes drop to his hand gestures, they suddenly widen, a thunderstruck and suspicious look coming over her face. "WAIT a second!"
Cooper
"Yeah no. Okay saying it out loud and talking it over makes me realize how stupid I am." And yet, knowing how stupid it was, Cooper still felt like she was his only option. And he was about to say as much when Santana's outburst caused him to stop in his tracks. There was a beat of silence, then he blinked. "Wait a second..what?"
Santana
"YOU ARE TOTALLY GAY!" Santana half yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him and even giving a fairly aggressive nod of certainty, eyes still wide. "So gay! You're queerer than a three dollar bill!!!" And then, almost as an afterthought, she tosses out more casually, "Or maybe bi with a strong helping of the dude drooling."
Cooper
Cooper jumped back with wide eyes, both panicked that someone had figured him out and confused where this was all coming from. "Woah! Hold up, no!" He insisted, holding his hands up in defense. "Absolutely not! I'm a ladies man, I'm absolutely not into guys!"
Santana
"Lies!" Santana jabbed the same finger at him, shaking her head so hard her hair whipped back and forth. "My gaydar is ringing like a siren!"
Cooper
"Okay one, will you PLEASE lower your voice? People are starting to stare and I don't want to give off this impression.." Cooper's eyes darted back and fourth. "Second, I'm one hundred percent straight so you might want to get that gaydar checked."
Santana
"Oh, please, like anyone cares...I can't believe I didn't see it before, I mean, look at your hair!" Santana lowers her voice only marginally. She smirks, shaking her head. "I really was sick, not to see this. You can deny all you want but that was a gesture of the gays...and the pants. Yep, you are flaming. You are on fire, and not because of the lyiing."
Cooper
"I'm sharply dressed because I'm an actor and I have to look good in public." He argued, though he was clearly looking a little nervous that Santana had figured him out. Even Blaine hadn't figured him out yet. "Besides, women love a man dressed up."
Santana
"Okay, the fact that you just described yourself as sharply dressed PROVES you're gay gay gay," she shot back, grinning widely. "Come on, like I care, hello, we're part of the rainbow family now apparently."
Cooper
There wasn't much point in constantly trying to argue, and Cooper realized that. "Look. I might be curious about other guys. Sure. But I'm very much into ladies so please don't start spreading word that I'm gay."
Santana
"Bi, whatever, same difference," Santana rolled her eyes, giving his shoulder a slight shove. "There are a few guys I wouldn't say no to, too."
Cooper
"Unfortunately I'm not one of them." He teased, seemingly able to immediately bounce back from being outed so suddenly. "Look I'm sorry for making you think I wanted to steal your girl."
Santana
"Obviously it was a clever ruse to try to distract from the fact you probably like Puck or Oliver or someone," Santana smirked.
Cooper
Cooper tensed up a little bit. "Doesn't matter. Oliver...they're both taken now so it doesn't matter." He tried so hard to shrug it off. "I just hope I get paired up soon."
Santana
"Oh, so it's Oliver then...you go for the exotic breeds, huh?"
Cooper
"Exotic? That's a little...he's not exotic he's a person."
"If you say so. I guess I always kinda thought Oliver was hot, yeah. But now he's got a room mate...partner...girlfriend. And I'm still waiting." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "All I have is my crazy ex and son..."
Santana
"Bullshit, you don't have her," Santana said plainly, rolling her eyes yet again. "She wants to trap you and then she'd have YOU. But you're never gonna have her. You probably never did."
Cooper
"You make a very valid point." Cooper admitted with a faint smile. "I'd just be under her heel the entire time."
Santana
"So quit being a dumbass," is Santana's pointed, if not exactly tactful, comment.
Cooper
"You really don't know me that well if you think a comment like that will change anything about me." Cooper responded with sticking his tongue out. "I still see her regularly. But I've told her that there's no chance of us being together. I'm only there for Conner."
Santana
"Oh, come on...if he's not your kid, why? If he's not yours, then all you're doing is giving him false hope you're gonna be his new dad, and then when you finally can't take her crazy anymore it will be worse for you both when you leave. And if you're not into his mom it's not fair to hang around for the kid," Santana pointed out. "Get out now, do not pass go. Unless, of course, a hot pretty boy gay is waiting," she snickered.
Cooper
Cooper wanted to play along and laugh, to throw Santana off from finding out yet another secret. But he just couldn't. All he did was just stare at her in silence, a serious look on his face practically screaming that he couldn't abandon the child no matter what.
Santana
Santana continued on half mocking, half advising him, for another minute or so before she realized that Cooper wasn't responding to her. Turning to look at her sharply, she frowned. "What?"
Cooper
"Nothing." Was the only response Cooper gave before he started to walk again, faster, trying to stay ahead of her and not let her see the telling look on his face.
Santana
Nothing is not a response Santana ever accepts. Speeding up along with him, she grabs at his arm, letting herself be half dragged along. "WHAT?"
Cooper
"You are really persistent. Look I can't tell you. Just...I'm not going to stop seeing the kid. Leave it at that, okay?"
Santana
Santana leaves it at that for about three seconds. Then, another outburst as lightning insight strikes. "She totally just trapped your ass with a CLASSIC! She's claiming the kid is yours! That manipulative little bitch, you're so screwed!"
Cooper
Cooper stopped again, turning on her with a mix of anger and stress all over his face. "The kid IS mine okay!? She pops back up after four years with my son because she can't afford to be a single parent! So she's guilt tripping me!"
Santana
"I bet she's lying out her ass because she wants your money and she knows you'll give it to her," is Santana's opinion. "Run and run fast man."
Cooper
"You think I wouldn't check to make sure she's lying? I've known about this kid long enough to get the facts. Conner's my kid because I'm a stupid asshole."
Santana
"Did you get his DNA?" Santana is still skeptical. "Because otherwise, lies."
Cooper
Cooper nodded. "The day she came to me with him."
Santana
Santana hadn't expected this. She blinks, then looks him over as if she's seeing him for the first time. "So...okay. So give her some money, see the kid weekends...without her. Don't get back with her. Period."
Cooper
"That's...mostly the plan." He explained, sensing this shift in atmosphere between the two of them. "If I want to spend more time with him it has to be with her around. But I'm trying to make that as infrequent as possible. And...if you would please not tell anyone? I don't want to be spreading the word that I'm a father. It might kill my chances of finding a partner."
Santana
"Well, you being a father who's also totally into dudes could finish off the jobs, as far as women go," she reminded him helpfully. "Just saying."
Cooper
Cooper's expression brightened a little. He hadn't thought about it that way. "You really thing it'd help me out?"
Santana
"Uh yeah? Tell her you're pretty sure she was part of your experimental phase...she helped you become CERTAIN you love dick," Santana snickered. "She'll love that."
Cooper
"I seriously can't tell if your'e screwing with me right now..."
Santana
"I'm totally serious!" she insisted, and she is, for the most part. "You want her gone, that's the way to do it!"
Cooper
Cooper hesitated. "But what if she tries to pull the whole 'you can't be a fit father if you're gay, you can never see him again' thing?"
Santana
"Then, you raise hell, you demand your parental rights and sue her," Santana shrugged. "Boom, in the bag."
Cooper
"It's like I'm talking to you and everything is so obvious." He admits to her with a small smile.
Santana
"Because I'm a genius," Santana says, as if this is also obviously. "I'm always right."
Cooper
"Damn right you're a genius. He's a cute kid..."
Santana
At this point Santana has actually forgotten their destination in going out and has pretty much stopped on the middle of the sidewalk again. "So we acknowledge I'm always right and you should unquestioningly follow my will?"
Cooper
"Okay that's going a little far don't you think?" He asked, looking up and down the sidewalk. Where the hell even were they going anymore. "So...were we going to a bar or...what's the plan now?"
Santana
"This is a secret that will never leave your confidence, but I actually don't feel like drinking," Santana admitted, lifting one shoulder in a shrug. "So, whatever."
