I had a bad night of sickness wherein I watched a horror movie trailer and the sickness combined with the scary grossness really stuck with me, to the point that I kind of got a weird, ruminating obsession. I've been getting better but I haven't been able to find much about this kind of situation... Any good resources for me? TuT
I’m very sorry that you’ve had to go through this, and for me taking so long to respond! But I definitely have a few options for you that might be of help. (This is going to be awfully long, sorry again.)
First of all, I always always always recommend talking to a doctor or therapist. I know it may seem like one particular event triggered the development of mental health troubles- but a lot of the time, there’s chemical imbalances that have been in play for quite a while, and thought/self-talk patterns you’ve gotten stuck in as a result. Getting professional help is really important.
If you decide to talk to a doctor, you can go ahead and set up an appointment with your general practitioner- they’re okay at depression and anxiety stuff most of the time, and can always give you a recommendation for another doctor if they’re not comfy diagnosing or prescribing anything. I know therapy can seem really scary and a huge ordeal if you haven’t done it before, and it’s totally okay if you think it’s only for people with ‘serious’ problems and want to call it counselling or something like that. (For a couple years, I flat out refused to say I was going to therapy, it was always counselling and I’d get really embarrassed and annoyed if my parents ever mentioned therapy.) The important thing is to talk to someone, or multiple someones.
In the meantime though, there are a few things you can try for yourself. (Finally!)
You’re totally not alone in getting hung up on things like this, promise. Lots of people are really sensitive to imagery and sound, and adding physical sickness on top of that must be just awful. I can’t watch scary movies at all, I end up having nightmares for about two weeks, and let me tell you, it’s really embarrassing to be scared to go up/down stairs or to the bathroom by yourself. Songs and pictures can stick with me too, in certain cases, and it’s like this horrible punched in the gut sensation whenever I’m reminded of it.
Sometimes these feelings go away on their own, like in my two week marker, but sometimes you have to work at it a bit. Now you have to be careful attempting exposure therapy type things on your own; whether it’s okay to do really depends on how severe your response is. If you’re up for it and want to give this a shot, here’s some things I’d recommend.
Try watching the trailer again, or even the whole movie. But! Do whatever you can to make the environment different and safer from the first time you saw it. If it was dark, watch it in a well-lit area. If you were warm, set up a fan or turn the air conditioning up a bit. If you were alone, have friends or family around to watch with you- this is especially good if you don’t want to get scared again, just have a bunch of people who laugh at scary movies or are always guessing at the twist or who dies first just MST3K the heck out of the movie or trailer. Have some yummy comfort food or a fun activity to do while you watch, like colouring books or card games or whatnot. Maybe check out the special features of the movie and see how goofy the actors are backstage, messing around with their costumes and makeup.
This may sound anywhere from kinda dumb to scary as hell, but I swear it works. It’s all about interrupting your ruminative thinking and giving yourself a new way to think about things.
When I was younger, I saw Stars Wars III in theater with my family, and it was all a bit much for me. By the time Anakin was thoroughly de-limbed and screaming on the banks of the lava river, I was feeling sick, nearly in tears, and about to leave the theater to sit out in the lobby for the rest of the move. My sister tried to calm me down and said something about how he looked like fried eggs, and I was stifling laughter for the next ten minutes, and it’s a really fun and silly memory for me now.
There was a song that made me feel nauseated and horribly sad every time I heard it, and it was just awful when it would surprise me on the radio or in someone’s playlist or it would show up on my dash. Listening to it while even thinking of the sad things associated with it only made things worse. It wasn’t going away even after a couple months, so what I did was this: I listened to it over and over while playing a puzzle game I love and eventually associated it with my own characters in a positive light instead, and now I feel fine about it- even when I listen to it and think about the sad things.
I have a good chunk of general info on rumination and stopping the process, but I’ll put that in a follow-up post since this is getting super long! I hope this helped at least a little bit, and that you can feel better soon. If you have any more questions or want to talk or anything at all, my inbox is always open. <3
