“ i won’t let them break me down to dust ”
The quiet strength behind the words was what truly caught her attention and there was something that lay in the soft determination of them that struck a chord within her. Laenah did not doubt that this woman had steel within her, mixed in with the care and concern that she seemed able to show the world without any hesitation despite the binds that the position of Lady put upon her to act a certain way. The sincerity that was embedded in her words and actions was something that almost caused some sort of envy within the brunette when she still found herself battling with who she was supposed to be, who she was and who she wanted to be. Her genuine fondness towards the other woman and something close to admiration meant that the negative feelings aren’t allowed to stay to take root and fester, instead she offers a small but soft smile.
It was hard to know exactly what to say when it had thrown her own emotions into a reflective chaos as she was forced to realise that she had slowly been letting herself get more and more won down. She wasn’t the ocean that she longed to be but the rocks that made its bed, constantly having their rough edges worn away and away and away until there was nothing left of them. Perhaps she needed to embrace her friend’s mentality and instead of allowing herself to be worn down by other’s little corrections and the alterations that they seemed to demand that she made in order to have a place among them, she needed to stand firm and strong in herself.
The decision was one that she had faltered on for years, the only thing keeping her caged still being her father’s absence and her wanting to draw as little attention as possible to her House with any actions that may be deemed worthy of gossip. So her soft, genteel and carefully crafted exterior remained in tact even if she had taken to being more and more reckless with the use of her spare time. Hunting and target practise were hardly hobbies fit for a lady and yet it felt like a step too far - one sacrifice too many - for her to even contemplate giving up the things that brought her such joy. Any hopes of marriage that she might have had were placed low on her priorities, set aside until things settled out but in the meantime Laenah knew she couldn’t give up everything and leave herself hollow and fading.
For all she had allowed herself to lapse into a contemplative silence she knew that some form of answer was required and she wanted it to be one of gentle support when the words did eventually leave her lips. ”With that resolve I am almost certain that they would never be successful.” There were no doubts in her mind that Nymeria was more than headstrong and steady in herself to easily be a match for any who made the mistake of challenging her and a part of her could only hope that one day she would be able to embody such qualities more openly than she already did.
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