Discover Top Posts Tagged with #coughingfit

Quiet couple of days after sunday when madame gave us bit of scare after getting into bad coughing fit, which for Eve can be extremely dangerous #goodjobimgrey #coughingfit #dangerous #breathing #scaresme #rest #quiettime #livingwithdisabilities @littlemisseveshouse https://www.instagram.com/p/CAqSjfyg_lU/?igshid=19nirieuz9hom

#goodjobimgrey #coughingfit #dangerous #breathing #scaresme #rest #quiettime #livingwithdisabilities

Stupid Moments In History - Mon. Feb. 17, 2020

#1673 #coughingfit #moliere #theimaginaryinvalid

Good morning. In lieu of anything constructive I will meme up the joint. #memes #meme #coughingfit (at Scarborough, Maine) https://www.instagram.com/p/B4KXCybAlNc/?igshid=1o4i325gj05i1

#memes #meme #coughingfit

Deep breath...it’s okay guardian...breathe...take this! The guardian had a really bad coughing fit in class after he tried drinking his soup, so much for lunch. Glad we had this....drink some more water...#coughingfit #bad #sick #coughsyrup #totoro #nolunch

#coughsyrup #totoro #bad #coughingfit #nolunch #sick

I panicked

This weekend Zoey had a coughing fit.

While I was at church. When I didn’t have my phone with me. As soon as I stepped into the parking lot I looked at my phone and started reading the text messages and saw the missed call from my roommates explaining what was going on. The more I read the more I felt the panic rising and the tears welling up in my eyes. I held it together long enough to call my roommates and see how Zoey was doing; they said that she seemed back to normal now. Sadly that did little calm me. I told them I’d be home as soon as possible (15 minutes).

That car ride home was terrible. I tried to hold it together but that only lasted long enough for me to get out of the parking lot. The tears were a steady stream down my face (not enough to severely impair my driving, but there was a steady stream nonetheless). I started pleading with God to keep Zoey safe and to give me strength. I muttered the words, “she has to be okay, she has to” more times than I can count. I kept thinking that I wasn’t ready. She wasn’t supposed to decline yet, she wasn’t supposed to not be okay yet.

I made it home and pulled myself together enough to walk in the house and see how she was doing. Thankfully she seemed to be normal which mildly calmed me down but I still called my good friend back home (and Zoey’s vet) to see if I needed to do anything: take her to the ER, give her medicine, whatever. I needed a voice of reason coming from someone I fully and completely trusted. Sadly as hard as I tried not to tear up while on the phone with her I was blubbering as soon as I tried to get the words “coughing fit” out.

I am Counting My Blessings for Good Friends

She calmed me down and it was decided that I would monitor Zoey and we’d see where things were throughout the day. Obviously if she went into distress then I’d take Zoey to the ER but otherwise my friend was just a phone call away should anything change. I felt so bad that I couldn’t hold it together very well (although I didn’t end up balling on the phone so I guess that’s something to celebrate), but I was so thankful that she was there. After texting her later with an update on the furball she was so supportive, she didn’t judge, and she didn’t get upset that I slightly fell apart on her. I am so thankful for her.

Side note: This was only a coughing episode. Certainly not a “good thing” but this doesn’t mean that she’s taken a drastic decline in her health. Obviously anything is possible, but let’s remember that I tend to catastrophize things so this could be nothing. And as I reread this I realize that I blew this out of proportion.

This Episode Brought Some Things into the Light

Yesterday drained me, emotionally and physically drained me. And it was only a coughing fit. It definitely illuminated a few things for me. First (and arguably the most important) is that I will never be even close to prepared for when Zoey is no longer here. No amount of articles read, people talked to, or blog posts written will change that. I don’t think that means I shouldn’t still do those things, it just means I can’t expect to know how I’m going to feel when something happens to Zoey. I actually just learned the scientific evidence for this is my social class today. It’s called affective forecasts and we’re bad at it. Second: There will be a day when Zoey’s not okay, it doesn’t necessary mean the end is near, but she will not be okay one day (and most likely more than just one day). Third: She may not be okay when I’m not home. I’m going to figure out how to accept that.

I’m a Planner at Heart

My first reaction after this incident and my panic was to plan. To plan how to react. To plan where to go, who to call, and who to reach out to for support. I wanted to plan what to do if I’m not there when Zoey’s not okay, to plan what to do when I am there. Mostly though, I think I wanted to plan how to feel. I wanted to plan away the pain that I started to feel on Sunday. But that’s not possible, no matter how much I wish it was.

However that doesn’t mean that a few plans aren’t surfacing in my mind or that there aren’t some plans that I should consider making. The biggest thing I have to remember is that I can plan all that I want but there’s a good chance that things won’t go as I plan. I have to learn to be okay with that.

My Takeaway

This was a minor, and seemingly isolated, incident. It could have been worse, but it wasn’t. I learned that I can never be as prepared as I want to be. The fact that I cannot prepare the pain away has become crystal clear. I’ve learned that I have a few things I can do a little planning for, but not everything. Today was so hard to leave her home, not only because I didn’t want her to have a coughing fit, but mostly because I have been reminded (yet again) that time is precious. Let’s all hug our dogs a little tighter today, and remember how lucky we are.

#learningmoment #coughingfit #whatnow #planningthepainaway