I'm disappointed because Raúl Esparza didn't have a cameo. It would been nice to see him in the movie. The Hamilton cast had a cameo but not someone who was in the original cast of the play.
CW; dislocation, sadistic whumper, contortionism, body horror honestly. This is just a little more intense
The boy was trembling, holding his elbows. He was still wearing his costume, hair damp from sweat. The sounds of the other circus acts filled small tent with distant music and cheers. His teeth chattered in the humid air.
“Sir, s-sir please. Can- how, how to do I prove to you that I’ll behave? Please give me a chance to prove myself. Please?”
The Ringmaster smiled and straightened his long coat. So eager to please. Perfect. Of course he would be, he would never accept anything else.
The boy had done his act flawlessly again. It was always fascinating to watch him contort his body into something that seemed… inhuman. There were plenty of supernatural in this show, but Lee wasn’t one of them. He was just another human performer with nowhere else to go. Raised here, born before the Ringmaster had bought the company.
The wind blew a bar of music and a rush of the crowd from the big tent. He didn’t have much time before he needed to introduce the next act, but that was part of the game, now wasn’t it? The limited time only made every movement deliberate and sweet.
Just another rush.
“Now Lee, you know what I say about obedience.”
Lee’s eyes fall closed and he shivers. “That, that it has to be re-reinforced.”
Fat, heavy tears roll down his face and the Ringmaster soaked in the sight of them. He would call them crocodile tears, but he knows they’re not.
The crowd cheers and brings him back. Tick tock, the clock is counting down. He takes a deliberate step towards the boy and he shudders. He curls his hands close against his chest, hunching his shoulders a little to protect them.
He knows the game, too.
“It hurts.”
Its barely more than a whisper, but the man hears it. He hears it and allows the shadow of a smile to glaze over his lips. Lee’s eyes are closed, and besides - he knows anyway.
“I know,” says the Ringmaster calmingly, sickeningly, as he takes another step forward. Stalking. “I know it does, but we can’t have you trying to run away again.”
Lee chokes on a sob. How many nights, how many years had it been since he had tried to run? Regardless, he nods. He knows; and god does he regret it. He’s regretted it for years, and his waking nightmare is that he will regret it for years to come.
How long will it take before the Ringmaster tires of this game?
“Hand.”
The man is standing in front of him know, Lee’s eyes fixed on the man’s shoes. It feels like someone has wrapped a band around his heart and it is squeezing him to death. The terror, the fear never lessens. They never dull.
“Please. Please let me do it,” he whines softly. He can pull the joint out carefully, he can make it hurt so much less. If he’s lucky, maybe not even at all.
There’s no answer. Lee knows there’s a time limit, he knows that the Ringmaster will get rushed and then there will be no comfort, no pauses. Trembling, he offers up his hand.
The Ringmaster grins and takes the hand gently, brushing his fingers down the back. He wraps a hand firmly around Lee’s wrist, and the other around the boy’s thumb. Lee bites his lip, fighting with the fire under his skin that is screaming at him pull your hand away.
The man tugs sharply, and the joint abused from nights and nights of this game gives. Lee gasps harshly, but it’s nothing. Nothing compared to what’s coming. Without prompting he lifts his other hand. The Ringmaster smiles and takes it lovingly.
Lee begged to prove his obedience but doesn’t seem to realize he does every time.
The process is repeated on his other hand, and Lee judders out another gasp. The Ringmaster holds the boy’s hands for a moment, brushing his thumb back and forth to sooth, before squeezing harshly. Lee keens, knees going slack.
The Ringmaster never lets him fall.
“Good job, you’re doing so good tonight, Lee.” The boy sobs, leaning his head to rest in the center of the man’s chest. It hurts, it hurts and it’ll only get worse, but there’s a single moment where at least he can be distracted by the kind words.
A length of rope is brought up and used to tie his hands tightly. Once, one time, he dislocated his thumbs to try and escape the cuffs. One time, but one time was enough for it to be added to the game. A precaution as the Ringmaster calls it.
Lee calls it torture.
His hands throbs and the rope cuts into his wrists as the man pulls him close to his chest. The man lays a hand across the boy’s dark hair and wraps the other around his waist. He breathes deeply, contentedly, while Lee cries into his woolen coat and ignores the pressure on his poor hands.
The moment is brief, and when the man pulls him away there’s a new look of fire in his eyes. He seizes high on the boy’s arm, just below the shoulder joint, and raises the grip of his arm around Lee’s chest. A violent yank, and Lee cries out through his sobs.
His legs give out completely, and the Ringmaster brings them both down to their knees. He brushes strand of fine hair out of the boy’s eyes, admiring the tears on his face and listening to the pitiful, half spoken pleas.
“Just one more,” he murmurs, feeling the shiver his words produce. “Just one more and you’ll be done. You’ve done well, Lee. Can you do that for me?” Lee’s response is only more cries, but the Ringmaster accepts it just the same.
He only shudders when the hands come again. Another wrench, another sickening pop for deep inside his body, and screams. He can feel his voice grate in his throat. The pain is overwhelming him, oppressing him into a weeping ball on his knees. The hands disappear, and he’s drifting. Drifting and alone and in agony.
A hand cards in his hair and lifts, forcing him to stand. Once he’s on his feet, the hand doesn’t leave. It stays. It stays, and it pulls him backwards. Backwards and down, bending farther and farther until his spine lays atop itself. Only then does the hand slip away.
Lee takes a controlled breath as he takes in the world upside down. The worst part is over, now. It hurts, it hurts more than anything else, but the sharp, terrifying part is over. This stretch is normal for him, dark hair brushing the ground next to his ankles. His shoulders burn and pull and buzz like insects, but he can breathe through the consistent pain. The sharp, anticipated pain is what he fears.
He can find focus in moments like this, and the pain can fade as he focuses on balance and breath.
The Ringmaster’s hand grabs his hair once again, now his bangs, and pulls him through his legs. The world rights itself, and he adjusts, whimpering as he brings his dislocated shoulders around and his hands in front. Tears that were trapped by gravity glide down his face in abundance, but he can’t let himself feel them right now.
The Ringmaster lays a hand on his taunt stomach. “Down.”
Lee folds his knees and lowers his chest down to the floor. Once he’s on the rug, he tucks his legs under his chin and nuzzles his aching hands with his nose. He closes his eyes and listens to his own breathing, counting. He can’t break down, now, he can’t cry. He needs to focus on breathing, on counting. Feeling small is a comfort to him, always has been. When he’s open, he’s vulnerable. But when he’s folded and compact, he’s safe. Small and safe and unseen. He pulls himself a little tighter together to stifle a sob that would wrack him.
The Ringmaster stands above the twisted form, observing every jerk and spasm. Time is almost up, but Lee is focused now, hiding deeper inside his head.
No matter. It’s just as enjoyable to unfold him slowly after the performance.
He taps the crate with his shoe, reminding Lee of where it is. Lee shudders in his compact form, but inches back towards it. Once inside, the Ringmaster comes around front and pets his cheek gently. Yes, to comfort him, but also to watch the mesmerizing shudder. It’s a sight to behold; a body so contorted shudder.
He closes the lid and straightens his coat. Time has come for him to introduce his next act, and the smile on his face is as genuine as it will ever be. It’s been fed by weeping and fear, thoughts still wandering to little Lee waiting for his return.
What she means: Alexander Hamilton, one of the founding founders of the United States was caught up in an affair with Maria Reynolds. In the musical adaption of his story, "Hamilton", this plight is shown through the song "Say No To This". In that song, Hamilton says the word 'no' about 31 times. However, Hamilton could not say no to
