Counterfeit AU pt7 / On AO3
Meng Yao tells Nie Huaisang about his brother's reincarnation
Meng Yao almost bursts out laughing when he sees Nie Huaisang in the doorway, with his too big hoodie, large sunglasses, and medical mask. He looks like an idol fearful to be recognised, which is both ridiculous and oddly endearing. It certainly is a change from the polished outfits he usually preferred on those few occasions he came alongside Meng Yao for a sale. It fits more with the way he was dressed on that disastrous day at the Hanshi.
Refraining his laughter, Meng Yao steps aside and gestures for his former employer to enter.
“Come in, I’ll make you tea.”
For a moment Nie Huaisang hesitates. His expression is hard to read with most of his face hidden that way, but Meng Yao can guess that he must be worried about a trap. He might have been right, once. In some of his past lives, Meng Yao would have given anything to slit the throat of the man who killed him several times… but he’s been reborn enough times that this now feels pointless. Isn’t Nie Huaisang living proof that revenge brings little joy in the end?
“I’ve got some candies too,” Meng Yao insists. “And I think you’ll like the news I have for you.”
“I came all this way,” Nie Huaisang shrugs with affected nonchalance as he steps inside. “Let’s get this over with.”
Just like with Lan Xichen, Meng Yao briefly feels nervous about letting Nie Huaisang inside his flat. It’s a little tidier now, because Lan Xichen frequently comes over and Meng Yao is still in that phase of dating where he very badly wants to impress his new boyfriend. But there is still a mess of drawings that Nie Mingjue did last time Meng Yao had to babysit, all those movie posters, and it feels embarrassing to let an actual immortal into such an ordinary place.
Meng Yao braces himself for some disparaging comments when Nie Huaisang removes his glasses to get a better look around, but the immortal just smiles weakly and goes to sit down at the kitchen table, the way an old friend who’d come there dozens of times would.
“I like what you’ve done with the place,” Nie Huaisang says. “It’s cosy. You’re treating yourself well, but not going overboard. Saving your money for the future, I guess?”
“Yes, I had to keep something aside in case my boss turns out to not be fully human, and refuses to deal with his attraction to me so he just fires me and cuts all contact.”
Nie Huaisang grimaces, which his mask can’t fully hide.
“That was mean,” Meng Yao concedes as he puts some water to boil. “But I’m still angry at you.”
“I can see that. I don’t know why you’re still angry. Aren’t you and Lan Xichen an item now? I think dating him is clearly the better option for you.”
Meng Yao freezes for a second while looking for his box of very good tea. He grabs it and drops it on the table with more force than necessary.
“Have you been spying on us?” he asks, the thought painful for some reason.
It’s one thing if Nie Huaisang tried to disappear from their life. Meng Yao can understand the guilt and regrets that man must carry, and how it would drive him to distance himself from them. But if he still lingered on the edges of their lives without bothering to actually contact them, then it feels… wrong.
Like they're just a little science project for him to watch unfold. Ants, too far beneath him to interact with.
“There was a white coat on a chair in the entrance,” Nie Huaisang retorts, a smile in his eyes. “You never wear white except for shirts. White gets dirty too easily, some stains never clean well, and you don't want to buy new stuff constantly. And since you’ve been trying to get in touch, and Lan Wangji has been uncharacteristically insistent about trying to reach me, I thought… well, I just made an educated guess. Was I right?”
“Yes,” Meng Yao mumbles. “It’s… it’s going well. He’s a good man.”
“Of course he is,” Nie Huaisang sighs, averting his eyes. “He always is.”
“I really like him,” Meng Yao says as he pours water into the teapot. “It’s… I think we’ve both waited for a chance to meet again. I’m glad this is the life in which we’re ready to be reunited.”
“I’m very happy for you. I really am,” Nie Huaisang insists, finally lowering his mask to show an open, sincere expression.
“We’ve also been hoping for a chance with you.”
Nie Huaisang’s face falls, and he pulls up his mask again, the way he once used to do with fans. It’s ridiculous, and Meng Yao, again, almost wants to laugh, just out of sheer affection.
“Is that why you’ve brought me here?” Nie Huaisang coldly asks. “I think I’ve made my position quite clear regarding the idea of dating mortals.”
He gets a shrug for an answer.
They’ve actually talked about this, Lan Xichen and him. Meng Yao thought it would be unfair to get in a relationship without fully explaining what he felt, what he still feels for Nie Huaisang. Lan Xichen, wonderful man that he is, has been very accepting, and said he’d understand if Meng Yao wished to pursue a relationship with both of them, given the chance. If anything, Lan Xichen appeared quite interested in an opportunity to know Nie Huaisang better, hinting that his first life left him with unresolved feelings of his own.
Lan Xichen is too wise to love a man he only remembers from several centuries ago, but he is open to the idea of falling for him, if they could just properly meet again.
“While your charming personality has had quite the impact on us,” Meng Yao says, “no, this isn’t why I was so eager to catch your attention. I… you haven’t checked any of the messages Lan Wangji left you, I’m assuming?”
“I figured he had nothing to say that I felt like hearing,” Nie Huaisang explains with a shrug. “His husband and him are… they’re not exactly my friends, and I doubt they’d use the word for me either. But being alive for so long creates bonds.”
That’s another thing that hasn’t changed from that first life they shared then. Meng Yao remembers that Nie Huaisang, although quite charming when he wanted, was always careful not to let anyone become too close to him. Even when they met again in Meng Yao’s following lives, he got the same sensation. Nie Huaisang had business partners, people he took to bed sometimes, but he always kept his distance. It’s hard to say if he was always like this from childhood, or if it’s a habit he picked up during his decade long revenge and never shook off even after centuries.
“Ok,” Meng Yao says as he pours tea for both of them, suspecting it won’t be drunk. “Ok, here is the reason I had to make you pay attention. We found Nie Mingjue.”
Slumping on his chair, Nie Huaisang goes pale.
“Don’t joke about something like that,” he warns, his voice trembling.
“I’m not. We found him. Her, actually.”
“He’s a girl?” Nie Huaisang mumbles, looking on the verge of tears.
A nod, and Nie Huaisang starts crying.
Not about Nie Mingjue being a different sex, or at least Meng Yao doesn’t think so. It’s something that happens sometimes. They’ve come back as animals too, as plants also in Meng Yao’s case, so a different sex isn’t so surprising.
Lan Xichen and him have talked about their other human lives, and realised it happened to them too. Lan Xichen has been a woman twice without any issues, while Meng Yao absolutely hated it the one time it happened to him, and did his best to live that entire life with the identity of a man. Maybe Nie Mingjue will flourish in that current identity, or fight against it like Meng Yao did. Either way, Lan Xichen and him have agreed to help and support Nie Mingjue, to make up for all the way they failed her in her first life.
“How old is she?” Nie Huaisang sobs. “Does she have siblings? Is her family good? Is… is she happy?”
“She’s just turned seven, she’s an only child, her mother is raising her on her own, and she’s about as happy as a kid that age can be when money is always a little tight.”
“What does her mother do?” Nie Huaisang quickly asks. “I’ll get her a better job. I’ll invent her an uncle to inherit from. Either. Both. I… she’s happy? You swear she’s happy?”
Another nod, and Meng Yao quietly pushes some tea toward Nie Huaisang who drinks it while still sobbing.
“You can meet her today if you want,” Meng Yao offers.
Immediately, Nie Huaisang chokes on his tea, coughing so hard that Meng Yao wonders if that’s something that can kill an immortal. After a few minutes Nie Huaisang calms down, and glares at him.
“I’m never coming anywhere near that child,” he announces, quickly drying his tears with the back of his hand. “I’ll make sure money is never an issue again for her and her mother, and that’s going to be the end of my involvement in her life.”
“That’s stupid. You’ve literally waited centuries for your brother to be reborn. Why wouldn’t you...”
“I destroy everything I touch,” Nie Huaisang claims, staring into the distance. “Everyone I’ve loved ended up dead or broken. You and Lan Xichen, and da-ge too in that first life and… I can’t risk that. I can’t ruin da-ge’s life again.”
“You’re so dramatic.”
“And you don’t understand what it’s like to live this long!” Nie Huaisang explodes. “To lose so many people! I’ve lived through wars and famines, through epidemic now forgotten! Every way a person can die, I’ve seen it! Every way a person can suffer! It happened to my enemies, but it also happened to my friends, over and over! And now da-ge is back and I… that child is… All I’ve ever wanted was for da-ge to have another chance, and that’s done. His soul has moved on at last. Nothing else matters now.”
Nie Huaisang started laughing, only for it to turn into a new round of heavy sobs.
“I don’t have to go on like this,” he cries. “I can… I can stop. I can renounce immortality and let myself die now.”
“Don’t do that!” Meng Yao beg, grabbing his hands over the table. “You stupid, melodramatic… You think da-ge would have wanted that? You think his soul fought this long to be reborn, only for you to give up and refuse to meet him?”
“I can’t see Mingjue be hurt again.”
“You’re just a coward!” Meng Yao shouts, before tightening his grip on Nie Huaisang’s hands. “Would you even get a chance to be reborn if you died now?”
“Maybe, maybe not. There are few enough immortals out there, and fewer still to have died. I wasn't close to any of them, so I never tried to find if they had reincarnated. I don’t know what would happen to me. I don’t really care. I never meant to become like this. Immortality was wasted on someone like me.”
Meng Yao’s knuckles turn white around Nie Huaisang’s hands.
“I’ll miss you if you die,” he whispers.
Sniffling, Nie Huaisang smiles and shakes his head.
“At first perhaps. But you’ll have Lan Xichen to comfort you, and he’ll have you as well.”
“Mingjue will miss you. She’ll remember, someday, and what will we tell her?”
“I hope she never remembers,” Nie Huaisang retorts darkly. “Some people don’t. Da-ge suffered so much… not just the murder part,” he adds nonchalantly. “The rest, too. Losing our father, losing his youth, being forced into adulthood when he was so young… It wasn’t fair, and I don’t think he was happy. I don’t think he even thought about caring that he wasn’t happy, that’s how bad it was. I hope she has a good, healthy life, without ever knowing that anything ever happened to her soul before. I think that’s the greatest gift fate could give her. But if she met me… I can’t risk that. I can’t take the chance of reminding her of our past.”
With surprising strength, Nie Huaisang pulls his hand away from Meng Yao’s too tight grip, then gets up. Meng Yao watches him, struck by the certainty that if he allows Nie Huaisang to leave now, without ever seeing Mingjue again, Nie Huaisang will be lost to him for ever. That stupid, clever, ridiculously theatrical man is going to do something idiotic and dramatic, because he’s so damn selfish that it doesn’t even occur to him that other people too have feelings and desires, that his opinion of himself isn’t universally shared, that others might love him even if he’s lived too long to find the strength to love himself anymore.
Terrified that this might be the last time they see each other, Meng Yao springs from his chair, crosses the distance between himself and Nie Huaisang, grabs him by the collar and kisses him.
Nie Huaisang’s lips taste of tea and salt from his tears. They feel too cold against Meng Yao’s burning mouth. But it doesn’t matter because for a brief, glorious moment, Nie Huaisang forgets about his great proclamation against getting involved with a mortal and kisses back, his arms locking around Meng Yao’s neck, pulling him closer. It is glorious, and everything that Meng Yao has wanted for too long.
It lasts only a moment before Nie Huaisang remembers who he is, who they both are, and pushes Meng Yao away, a look of agony on his face.
“You should not have done that,” Nie Huaisang scolds.
“I want to do it again,” Meng Yao retorts. “Stay. Stay with us. With me, with Xichen, with Mingjue… You belong with us, and we love you.”
“They don’t even know me, and you love an image I crafted for you.”
“Stay and give us a chance to get to know you. Or are you too much of a coward to take the risk of letting us love you?”
Nie Huaisang hesitates, his expression more pained. Meng Yao steps closer again. If he can touch Nie Huaisang again, hold him just a moment more, then he’s sure that the immortal will give in and stay. All he needs is one hug, one kiss, one hug, just one second…
But just as Meng Yao is about to move, someone knocks on his door, and the chance is lost. Nie Huaisang quickly puts his mask back on and hurries out of the flat, nearly knocking over one of Meng Yao’s neighbours, a sweet old lady who came to ask him for help understanding her latest phone bill which is much higher than it should be.
Meng Yao almost tells her to fuck off, upset at having lost what might have been his only chance to have the other man he loves. But she really is worried, it is not an amount she can afford, and her distress allows Meng Yao to ignore his own for a moment. It takes a few calls to figure out her problem and force her phone company to back off, and Meng Yao allows himself to be snappier than he normally would be, at least once he gets someone on the line who has any actual power over the situation.
When the problem is solved, and he’s alone again, Meng Yao slumps on his sofa and thinks about kissing Nie Huaisang for the first and last time. He is about to get very sad and dramatic about it, because Nie Huaisang isn’t the only one with that tendency, when his phone buzzes.
A message from Lan Xichen, asking about his day, wondering if they could see each other that night because he’s finally sent the draft of his book to the editor and wishes to celebrate his newfound freedom.
Meng Yao stares at the screen, a smirk slowly forming on his lips.
If Nie Huaisang thinks he’s going to get rid of them so easily, he’s in for a surprise. Meng Yao might be stubborn, but Lan Xichen, for all of his smiles and soft manners, can be far worse.
They’re going to make Nie Huaisang stay, and he’s going to like it.