About Dany hate
Okay, I’ve read enough posts insulting Dany and her Stans to be sick of it. Some may say: if it doesn’t please you, then don’t go there. But that way of thinking is too easy, and cuts discussion when I want to understand where the person comes from.
Some already said that that for some, Dany is an obstacle to what their own favorite character could have (more power, a love interest). I tend to agree with it. But I think there might be another thing. It’s, i believe, a mix of countertransference when confronted to persons with traumas, identification and projection.
What is countertransference, you might ask? To be put simply (maybe vulgarly, I can’t sum up all the writings about it in one post), it is all the reactions, the images, thoughts... that you may have (consciously or not) when you’re in front of a person you’re in position to care about. It’s what makes you either benevolent, neutral or malevolent towards that person, according to what your personal experiences are. For example, if the victim’s situation is similar to what you already lived (or imagined, for some) if you’re not sufficiently aware of it, it might make you either reject the person, either identify too much with her/him. Either there’s too much distance, either there’s too little. It’s not a rational response, it’s an emotional one. And it’s something that erase all shades in judgement (the good old reasoning good guy/bad guy). For some, It’s stronger than most. Others, more aware of their own issues, can work with it and actually distance themselves with these emotional reactions. It is also something that is also very sensitive to the belonging of a group (ex: antis vs pro). If the group is threatened, you feel threatened.
Most anti Dany are pro Stark, from what I’ve seen. Or pro Sansa plus specifically for some (because some pro Sansa are also anti Arya, which they call a psychopath/sociopath . So it’s not entirely pro Stark.)
But what is the difference in the books between Sansa and Dany concerning traumas (I’m not talking about magical blood, dragons or any events that happened conveniently in seasons that do not care for the books)?
Sansa’s first POVs (in books and first seasons) are ones of a romantic, idealistic girl, with a bit of a bully side when it comes to her sister Arya, who doesn’t quite fit in what she would expect of a girl, of a sister (she even said she would have preferred Myrcella). But for a lot of girls, this context of sibling ´ rivalry’ , but otherwise secure family unity, is quite relatable and such is the story of this girl wishing for Prince Charming.
And then came troubles and traumas, and the readers and watchers just see and LIVE with her all these traumas, sometimes as if it was their own. Because they had identified themselves too much with her when she was in security, which makes it seem even more unbearable the events that befell her. (Thus the second reaction to the countertransference). So of course they want her to move on, to get back what she has lost. Because they had already seen WHAT she has lost. Thus she does not seem too entitled to them.
Dany, to the contrary, is presented already with signs of traumatic experiences. The readers and the watchers don’t see her secure, in a happy family. They don’t see what she has lost.They see her when she has learned to be passive, and to submit to her abusers. That’s something that is terrifying, something most people can’t bear to think of, and which makes them distance themselves from her. But it’s not something socially desirable to say you don’t like a character because her traumas, present from the beginning, disturb you. So you try to rationalize. To distance yourself from her, especially if her character begins to stand up(thus the first reaction.) To say there’s something terrifying IN her: she’s mad, she’s cruel, she has too much power and it’s never enough for her... By doing that, you erase every part that doesn’t go your way to concentrate on parts you can interprete as you want. It’s not you who are in the wrong, it’s her. It’s the people that are defending her.
It’s what makes the insults easier to come, because the hatred is not based on rational thinking, but on an emotional reaction. And of course, they’re happy that the show ´proved them right’. They don’t have to question themselves about it too much. But then... the show did not completely give back to Sansa what she had lost, did it? And now, other Stans are questioning them being right..
So then goes an eternal spiral of hatred and misunderstandings. Because the thing with hatred ? It’s extremely contagious.
But insults to one character and its fans are not valid arguments. It only makes the discussion poorer and poorer.
Some may disagree with what I’ve said. I welcome the discussion. But if I see even one insult in the comments, be sure I’m going to expose you. So let’s be constructive.
