I’ve been thinking about doing two rewatches: The X-Files and Game of Thrones.
And the funny thing is, they live in completely different rooms of my brain.
Game of Thrones lives there rent free. It keeps generating plot bunnies, fix-it fics, canon-divergent disasters, political marriages, emotional reparations, Jaime Lannister problems, Sansa Stark defense essays, and the occasional “what if this one decision accidentally reshaped the continent?” situation.
But I do not know Game of Thrones by heart.
I watched most episodes from seasons 1 to 6 only once. I may have skipped half of season 5 because sometimes self-preservation is a noble calling. I remember the emotional impact, the big arcs, the performances, the wounds, the crimes, the dragons, the family rot — but if I’m going to talk about it properly, I need notes.
So the GoT rewatch is research.
It is me going back with hindsight, affection, rage, and a notebook.
Expect young Sansa defense from day one, because we are not doing 2011 Sansa hate in this house. She was a sheltered child raised to believe in songs, courtesy, queenship, and marriage. The tragedy is not that she was “stupid.” The tragedy is that the songs lied.
Expect Cersei cheekbone reports, because Lena Headey weaponised bone structure and contempt like a woman personally appointed by the gods of television.
Expect Nikolaj Watch, because my Nikolaj Coster-Waldau problem arrived later but it arrived with paperwork, cheekbones, and emotional damages.
Expect foreshadowing notes, especially around Daenerys, because “Mad Queen Dany came out of nowhere” and “Dany was always evil” are both boring takes. The seeds were there early. The problem was not the destination. The problem was that the final seasons stopped doing the emotional and political math on screen.
And expect me to point at Jaime and Jon and say: the characters survived the show, even when the writing dropped them down a ravine.
Then there is The X-Files.
That one is different.
I’m not going back because I forgot it.
I’m going back because I know it too well not to.
I’ve loved The X-Files since it first aired in Italy on 29 June 1994. That is almost thirty-two years of my life spent with Mulder, Scully, damp Vancouver forests, basement lighting, government conspiracies, motel rooms, monsters, trauma, trust, and Chris Carter saying things about Mulder and Scully’s relationship that made every shipper on earth collectively roll their eyes and open a fanfic tab.
My friends used to test me with episode openings and screencaps. I could tell them the episode, the season, the writer, and the director.
This is not nostalgia.
This is expertise with a flashlight.
I am a die-hard MSR shipper, but not the kind who needs every episode to worship at the altar. I will defend “3.” I will defend “The Field Where I Died.” I will defend Oubliette, The Calusari, Firewalker, and other less-discussed episodes with a legal brief and a shovel.
I can quote Pusher and The Post-Modern Prometheus.
I watched Paper Hearts three times in a row because apparently I looked at psychological devastation and said, “Again.”
I also despise many Darin Morgan episodes because, yes, he is clever, yes, he is funny, yes, he is structurally brilliant, and yes, he often writes Mulder like a moron. I said what I said.
The X-Files rewatch will be about Mulder damage reports, Scully skepticism appreciation, MSR as trust before romance, monster-of-the-week as emotional mirror, underrated episode defense, and a lot of side-eye for Chris Carter.
Because one thing you learned very quickly in X-Files fandom was this:
Never trust Chris Carter with Mulder and Scully.
Trust the text.
Trust the glances.
Trust the hallway silences.
Trust the hospital beds.
Trust the motel rooms.
Trust the hand at the small of her back.
Trust fanfiction, because fanfiction has been the universal coping mechanism of shippers since 1993.
So yes.
Two rewatches.
For Game of Thrones, I’m going back because the characters still generate stories, and I need to understand the bones again.
For The X-Files, I’m going back because the bones are already in my hands.
Welcome to the basement.
Previously on emotional damage.
Longer versions, extended essays, rewatch notes, and full emotional autopsies will live on Ko-fi.
Because apparently my fandom damage has become a filing system.
And she does stay in Slavers Bay and try to rebuild the economy. Source: A Dance With Dragons.
She spends much of the book trying to negotiate new trade deals with the Lhazarene and the Qartheen, trying to plant new olive groves and bean fields, trying to reform the guilds membership so former slaves can earn proper wages as skilled craftsmen. She tries to assimilate with Meereenese culture to ease a peaceful transition of power, she consults with their priestess, she adopts their religious rites and their uncomfortable traditional dress, she agrees under pressure to marry a Meereenese noble (she doesn't force anyone into marriage at dragonpoint like in the show). And she goes out personally to feed and care for the sick and starving refugees at her door, she tries to set up quarantine zones to slow the spread of infection.
And yeah she falls short. But the odds are stacked against her. She's 14, for starters. And before she arrived the slavers burnt all the olive groves and salted the soil so she couldn't use them, and as she calculates it will take 30 years before the land will be truly productive again. She also has the Meereenese slaving class working very hard to sabotage her by funding domestic terrorism within the city. And she has to deal with a refugee crisis, a famine, a plague, and an alliance of pro-Slavery states forming a blockade around Meereen and threatening to siege the city.
True the refugee crisis is arguably due to her leaving Astapor. She set up a new government, but she should have stayed longer to consolidate it. But she is only 14, and her main adviser/parental figure is too busy being a pro-slavery pedophile.
And the fall of Astapor isn't completely on her shoulders. She left adults in charge, people with qualifications and who knew the land and people better than she did. They had political agency and responsibility. As did Cleon. He could have chosen not to overthrow the Council and name himself King. He could have chosen to heed Daenerys when she told him "don't start a war with the Yunkai". And the Yunkai could have chosen not to slaughter Astapor and chase the refugees to Meereen. They could have simply removed Cleon and then recognised Daenerys had no part in his actions. The Yunkai could have chosen not to then declare war on Meereen.
The institution of slavery is complicated to overthrow and complicated to replace and even complicated in the ways it reasserts itself. Daenerys isn't the only actor here who determines the fate of Slavers Bay (though if she unleashes her dragons she can certainly become the most decisive actor again). The entire point of ADWD is that it's much more complicated than that - its GRRM's answer to "what was Aragorn's tax policy?". She is a 14 year old child who does her best against impossible odds, and who explicitly puts any dreams of Westeros on hold indefinitely. Time and time again she is offered the chance and means to sail for Westeros, and she turns it down each time because she knows she can't leave the people of Meereen behind to die.
And hopefully the lesson she learns by the end of ADWD is that she has to stop being conciliatory towards the slaving class. She spares the lives of hostages, she opens the fighting pits for them, she gives up her body in marriage, and still they try to poison her to install Hizdhar as King. Mercy isn't a weakness, but the people who have a vested interest in slavery aren't going to stop just because you ask them nicely (like that garbage show GOT seems to think). She's got to use her dragons.
No, critiquing her failures isn't the same as defending slavery. But claiming that she never tried, and ignoring the odds stacked against her, is false. As for blaming her for Slavers Bay falling into chaos and suffering... First off, again, she isn't the only responsible actor with agency - I maintain that the fall of Astapor was pretty much out of her hands. And second, it ignores the massive scale of human suffering that already gripped slavers bay. The daily violence inflicted on slaves - the families torn apart, the lives destroyed, the children mutilated, the thousands of dead babies killed to initiate the Unsullied, the tortures and crucifixions and whippings and executions and rapes.
Ignoring that isn't that far off from defending slavery. Claiming that the violence that overthrew slavery is worse than the violence that is slavery isn't that far off from defending slavery. Should no one ever dare strike off a slaves chains just because they can't account for the violence that could come after? Is the crucifixion of child-murdering Slavers worse than the crucifixion of innocent children?
Or to bring up another literary scenario with more moral equivalency and ambiguity - was the Tenth plague upon the firstborns of Egypt worse than the mass culling of infant slaves? Who do you blame for the Ten Plagues of Egypt? Should Moses have left well enough alone?
Throughout the ASOIAF series, Daenerys has displayed the skills of horse riding, understanding multiple languages, negotiating, military strategy, creating alliances and dragon riding. These will be discussed under the cut:
Horse Riding
Daenerys is an accomplished horserider who formed an instant connection with her horse, Silver:
The silver-grey filly moved with a smooth and silken gait, and the crowd parted for her, every eye upon them. Dany found herself moving faster than she had intended, yet somehow it was exciting rather than terrifying. The horse broke into a trot, and she smiled. Dothraki scrambled to clear a path. The slightest pressure with her legs, the lightest touch on the reins, and the filly responded. She sent it into a gallop, and now the Dothraki were hooting and laughing and shouting at her as they jumped out of her way. As she turned to ride back, a firepit loomed ahead, directly in her path. They were hemmed in on either side, with no room to stop. A daring she had never known filled Daenerys then, and she gave the filly her head.
The silver horse leapt the flames as if she had wings. - Daenerys II, A Game of Thrones
Polyglot
In Astapor, Daenerys could discern the Ghiscari dialect of High Valyrian:
"Tell the Westerosi whore to lower her eyes," the slaver Kraznys mo Nakloz complained to the slave girl who spoke for him. "I deal in meat, not metal. The bronze is not for sale. Tell her to look at the soldiers. Even the dim purple eyes of a sunset savage can see how magnificent my creatures are, surely."
Kraznys's High Valyrian was twisted and thickened by the characteristic growl of Ghis, and flavored here and there with words of slaver argot. Dany understood him well enough, but she smiled and looked blankly at the slave girl, as if wondering what he might have said. - Daenerys II, A Storm of Swords
Negotiation
As Queen of Meereen, Daenerys offered to trade with Qarth:
"Shall we walk?" Dany slipped her arm through his. The air was heavy with the scent of night-blooming flowers. "You spoke of help. Trade with me, then. Meereen has salt to sell, and wine …"
"Ghiscari wine?" Xaro made a sour face. "The sea provides all the salt that Qarth requires, but I would gladly take as many olives as you cared to sell me. Olive oil as well." - Daenerys III, A Dance with Dragons
Military Strategy
Daenerys was able to take Yunkai by complete suprise with her battle strategy:
"I think we should attack from three sides. Grey Worm, your Unsullied shall strike at them from right and left, while my kos lead my horse in wedge for a thrust through their center. Slave soldiers will never stand before mounted Dothraki." She smiled. "To be sure, I am only a young girl and know little of war. What do you think, my lords?"
"I think you are Rhaegar Targaryen's sister," Ser Jorah said with a rueful half smile. - Daenerys IV, A Storm of Swords
Creating Alliances
As Queen of Meereen, Daenerys sent the Stormcrows to free the Lhazarene slaves to open the trade routes so that grain could be brought to Meereen :/p>
Beyond the eastern hills was a range of rounded sandstone mountains, the Khyzai Pass, and Lhazar. If Daario could convince the Lhazarene to reopen the overland trade routes, grains could be brought down the river or over the hills at need … but the Lamb Men had no reason to love Meereen. "When the Stormcrows return from Lhazar, perhaps I can use them in the streets," she told Ser Barristan, "but until then I have only the Unsullied." - Daenerys I, A Dance with Dragons
~
Yet somehow she found herself thinking of Daario Naharis. His messenger had come that morning. The Stormcrows were returning from Lhazar. Her captain was riding back to her, bringing her the friendship of the Lamb Men. Food and trade, she reminded herself. He did not fail me, nor will he. Daario will help me save my city. - Daenerys III, A Dance with Dragons
~
"Meereen has made alliance with Lhazar."
That only made him chuckle. "The Dothraki horselords call the Lhazarene the Lamb Men. When you shear them, all they do is bleat. They are not a martial people."
Even a sheepish friend is better than none. "The Wise Masters should follow their example. I spared Yunkai before, but I will not make that mistake again. If they should dare attack me, this time I shall raze their Yellow City to the ground." - Daenerys III, A Dance with Dragons
~
Ser Barristan remained. "Our stores are ample for the moment," he reminded her, "and Your Grace has planted beans and grapes and wheat. Your Dothraki have harried the slavers from the hills and struck the shackles from their slaves. They are planting too, and will be bringing their crops to Meereen to market. And you will have the friendship of Lhazar."
Daario won that for me, for all that it is worth. "The Lamb Men. Would that lambs had teeth."
"That would make the wolves more cautious, no doubt." - Daenerys V, A Dance with Dragons
Dragon Riding
Daenerys was able to ride Drogon by using her intuition and previous knowledge of horse riding:
The dragonlords of old Valyria had controlled their mounts with binding spells and sorcerous horns. Daenerys made do with a word and a whip. Mounted on the dragon's back, she oft felt as if she were learning to ride all over again. When she whipped her silver mare on her right flank the mare went left, for a horse's first instinct is to flee from danger. When she laid the whip across Drogon's right side he veered right, for a dragon's first instinct is always to attack. Sometimes it did not seem to matter where she struck him, though; sometimes he went where he would and took her with him. Neither whip nor words could turn Drogon if he did not wish to be turned. The whip annoyed him more than it hurt him, she had come to see; his scales had grown harder than horn. - Daenerys X, A Dance with Dragons
Casual reminder than Daen.erys and Vi.serys have had assassins and spies sent to them since they were very small children.
Jor.ah being with them was no accident. J.orah was always a spy, and there may have been a hand in V.iserys' death that wasn't his own stupidity. Who got him drunk? He had no coin. Nothing to trade. Who gave him alcohol for free? Reminder jor.ah has been selling Da.nys secrets, and her location since he joined them. Which tells me they'd been searching for her since before she got pregnant. Jo.rah, who genuinely groomed and tried to isolate her from other West.erosi, had been a spy for Var.ys since before the series. D and V had only been at Illy.rio's for six months.
Va.rys and Ro.bert had been searching for D.any and Vise.rys since before Jo.rah joined them... what the fuck does that tell you? They didn't know about the marriage plans until Jo.rah joined them. They were hunting these children, and Vise.rys moving about protected them from being found consistently.
Rob.ert was so concerned about the Targ loyalists turning to join them, he called them scum and was near paranoid about it. Robe.rt made enemies of already dead infants, and he then did it to living children. He called dead Rh.aenys and A.egon "dragonspawn", and held no sympathy for them or their mother, who had been raped and murdered. Ne.d thinks poorly of it.
"I see no babes. Only dragonspawn." He also didn't give af that El.ia had been raped and murdered. Is this your king? He then never visited D.orne or made any apologies for the loss of Dor.an and Obe.ryn's sister.
He sent a fleet to assault Dragonston.e when she was born. A post partum mother, an eight year old and a newborn who would've been put to the sword or dashed against a wall for their blood. Rob.ert then blamed Stann.is for the CHILDREN getting away.
Thank you very much, stop pretending otherwise. 14 is still under age for West.eros and Vis.erys is 8 years older. Therefore, he'd been of age for six years. Meaning at minimum assassins would've been sent for Vise.rys at 16. Dae.nerys would've been 8.
Why would he wait until the army against them was secure? Robe.rt wouldn't. Rob.ert historically didn't, re send.ing Stan.nis for the siege on Dragonstone.
Viser.ys moved them place to place as a 13 year old because he had enough reason to believe swords were sent after them both. Swords that had already been responsible for the deaths of children, and held no remorse for it.
Robert made children his enemies canonically. Don't forget that.
"daenerys and the word socialist does not belong together"
says someone with a sansa stark pfp who has socialist and leftist in her bio, who thinks dany falls short of being a messianic or heroic character even if tragic, but the one u put in ur pfp has done so many socialist and equivalent things for society ah great! since we are bringing political views and inclinations, dany is far far ahead of half of male and female characters in asoiaf and their policies about ruling reforming and feudalism. She ended an entire system of slavery where GRRM says his slavery isn't race based like American, but more like the general slavery of ancient greek and roman empires so if there is anyone politically woke and not hypocrite in books, its daenerys. but sure....whatever you think of socialism with a pfp of woman who quite frankly spends half time criticising smallfolks (yikes!)
The first time I read ASOIAF, I remember that one of the things that first drew my attention to Dany as a character was the name “Stormborn.” It was such a small thing, but back then I couldn’t help but think it was meaningful that this little girl, shy, terrified, abused and at the mercy of the men around her, could also carry such a powerful sounding name, at least in my opinion.
Beneath an arch of twining stone leaves, a eunuch sang their coming. "Viserys of the House Targaryen, the Third of his Name," he called in a high, sweet voice, "King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm. His sister, Daenerys Stormborn, Princess of Dragonstone. His honorable host, Illyrio Mopatis, Magister of the Free City of Pentos."—aGoT, Daenerys I.
This happens during Dany’s very first chapter, and while her brother is announced by a litany of titles, it was Dany’s epithet that really caught my attention. In the next passage we get an explanation for it.
She had been born on Dragonstone nine moons after their flight, while a raging summer storm threatened to rip the island fastness apart. They said that storm was terrible. The Targaryen fleet was smashed while it lay at anchor, and huge stone blocks were ripped from the parapets and sent hurtling into the wild waters of the narrow sea. Her mother had died birthing her, and for that her brother Viserys had never forgiven her.—aGoT, Daenerys I.
Dany often uses that name when she is scared or in doubt, to gather strength and to assert herself, not just outloud to others but within her own internal narrative.
There was no one to talk to. Khal Drogo shouted commands and jests down to his bloodriders, and laughed at their replies, but he scarcely glanced at Dany beside him. [...]
So she sat in her wedding silks, nursing a cup of honeyed wine, afraid to eat, talking silently to herself. I am blood of the dragon, she told herself. I am Daenerys Stormborn, Princess of Dragonstone, of the blood and seed of Aegon the Conqueror.—aGoT, Daenerys II.
The Dothraki exchanged uncertain glances. "Khaleesi," the handmaid Irri explained, as if to a child, "Jhaqo is a khal now, with twenty thousand riders at his back."
She lifted her head. "And I am Daenerys Stormborn, Daenerys of House Targaryen, of the blood of Aegon the Conqueror and Maegor the Cruel and old Valyria before them. I am the dragon's daughter, and I swear to you, these men will die screaming. Now bring me to Khal Drogo."—aGoT, Daenerys IX.
"The corsair wanted only a hundred, your worship," Dany heard [Missandei] say. [Kraznys mo Nakloz] poked her with the end of the whip. "Consairs are all liars. He'll buy them all. Tell her that, girl."
Dany knew she would take more than a hundred, if she took any at all. "Remind your Good Master of who I am. Remind him that I am Daenerys Stormborn, Mother of Dragons, the Unburnt, trueborn queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros. My blood is the blood of Aegon the Conqueror, and of old Valyria before him."—aSoS, Daenerys II.
"Woman, you bray like an ass, and make no more sense."
"Woman?" She chuckled. "Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man." Dany met his stare. "I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, khaleesi to Drogo's riders, and queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros."—aSoS, Daenerys IV.
And while her name is something that Dany draws strength from, she recognizes that a storm can be at times frightening, though not to her.
No squall could frighten Dany, though. Daenerys Stormborn, she was called, for she had come howling into the world on distant Dragonstone as the greatest storm in the memory of Westeros howled outside, a storm so fierce that it ripped gargoyles from the castle walls and smashed her father's fleet to kindling.
The narrow sea was often stormy, and Dany had crossed it half a hundred times as a girl, running from one Free City to the next half a step ahead of the Usurper's hired knives. She loved the sea. She liked the sharp salty smell of the air, and the vastness of horizons bounded only by a vault of azure sky above. It made her feel small, but free as well.—aSoS, Daenerys I.
Dany had never looked upon the Usurper's face, yet seldom a day had passed when she had not thought of him. His great shadow had lain across her since the hour of her birth, when she came forth amidst blood and storm into a world where she no longer had a place. And now this ebony stranger had lifted that shadow.—aCoK, Daenerys II.
Dany is not the only POV to have storm imagery in her chapters, but I find the way GRRM implements them with her rather interesting. For example, when it comes to the magic in her storyline, he uses a lot of language related to rain and storm. This scene, when sacrifices Mirri Maz Duur, being the most prominent and important for me.
She heard a crack, the sound of shattering stone. The platform of wood and brush and grass began to shift and collapse in upon itself. Bits of burning wood slid down at her, and Dany was showered with ash and cinders. And something else came crashing down, bouncing and rolling, to land at her feet; a chunk of curved rock, pale and veined with gold, broken and smoking. The roaring filled the world, yet dimly through the firefall Dany heard women shriek and children cry out in wonder.
Only death can pay for life.
And there came a second crack, loud and sharp as thunder, and the smoke stirred and whirled around her and the pyre shifted, the logs exploding as the fire touched their secret hearts. She heard the screams of frightened horses, and the voices of the Dothraki raised in shouts of fear and terror, and Ser Jorah calling her name and cursing. No, she wanted to shout to him, no, my good knight, do not fear for me. The fire is mine. I am Daenerys Stormborn, daughter of dragons, bride of dragons, mother of dragons, don't you see? Don't you SEE? With a belch of flame and smoke that reached thirty feet into the sky, the pyre collapsed and came down around her. Unafraid, Dany stepped forward into the firestorm, calling to her children.
The third crack was as loud and sharp as the breaking of the world.—aGoT, Daenerys X.
And afterwards, is not the breaking of the world that comes, but dragons; Dany is successful in what a lot of her ancestors tried and failed to do, she brings back dragons after hundreds of years. She brings magic back into the world. Three dragons that, in the future, will be essential for saving the world, not break it.
Dany hears three cracks while she births her dragons, and we already know how significant that number is in Dany’s narrative, as we see when she enters the House of the Undying, where there are other significant allusions to storms and her name.
[...] As Dany walked to the empty chair at the foot of the table, they did not stir, nor speak, nor turn to face her. There was no sound but the slow, deep beat of the rotting heart.
. . . mother of dragons . . . came a voice, part
whisper and part moan . . . dragons . . . drag-
ons . . . dragons . . . other voices echoed in the gloom. [...] It was hard to summon the will to speak, to recall the words she had practiced so assiduously. "I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros." Do they hear me? Why don't they move? She sat, folding her hands in her lap. "Grant me your counsel, and speak to me with the wisdom of those who have conquered death."—aCoK, Daenerys IV.
. . . mother of dragons . . . child of three . . .
"Three?" She did not understand.
. . . three heads has the dragon . . . the ghost chorus yammered inside her skull with never a lip moving, never a breath stirring the still blue air. . . . mother of dragons . . . child of storm . . . The whispers became a swirling song. . . . three fires must you light . . . one for life and one for death and one to love . . . Her own heart was beating in unison to the one that floated before her, blue and corrupt . . . three mounts must you ride . . . one to bed and one to dread and one to love . . . The voices were growing louder, she realized, and it seemed her heart was slowing, and even her breath. . . . three treasons will you know . . . once for blood and once for gold and once for love . . .—aCoK, Daenerys IV.
Of course these are not the only mentions of storms or “Stormborn” in Dany’s chapters, but I found them to be most significant, at least to me. Often times, when I read criticism on Dany, it is related to the destruction people argue Dany, and her dragons, can rain upon the world, or the destruction she’s already created in Essos with her war on slavery, and I actually don’t disagree completely with that notion. Yes, Dany and her dragons can—and in some instances have—bring destruction, but that is what storms do; they can bring down something, only to help something new grow back up.
Daenerys is fire, but she can also be rain, washing down the old and rotten society built on the backs of slaves and helping something new and better be born in its place. And yes, storms can be scary, but we couldn’t possibly survive without them, not without the water that nurtures us and that is so essential for life to grow anew.
Sansa and Dany’s marriage arcs actually parallel each other so much, besides people aggressively shipping them with Jon Snow.
Both are initially promised to someone beautiful, who they want to trust, but who turns out to be incredibly cruel. Sansa with Joffrey and Dany at least assuming she would marry Viserys until her actual wedding.
Both young women experience sexual abuse at the hands of someone who should be their prince in shining armor because said Prince blames them for something they had no chance to effect. Sansa is stripped and beaten before the courts because of Robb’s wins. Dany is beaten and abused because she should have been born sooner so Rhaegar wasn't married to Elia.
Those initial betrothals are both broken and cause another marriage to occur to reach other goals of the prince. Joffrey needs an alliance with the Reach so he breaks his betrothal with Sansa, but he still needs to keep a claim to the North so she’s married to Tyrion. Viserys gives up his hope of marrying Dany because he needs her as a bargaining chip to get his armies through Drogo.
There are some interesting differences with these marriages.
First, Drogo maritally rapes Dany while Tyrion decides to wait for her to want it. Dany is hesitantly into it on their wedding night - guiding Drogo’s hand between her legs - but it still is marital rape because she wasn’t consenting fully.
But, Both women end up claiming agency in their marriages through their sexual situation. Dany uses Doreah’s teaching to take control and exhibit agency in the marital bed; Sansa maintains agency by not giving in to let Tyrion have sex with her. Both begin to find their strength in these different forms of resistance against their system. Women don’t usually get sexual agency and control, so by claiming it, Dany is resisting. Sansa’s resistance to Tyrion is another form of sexual agency because she gets to choose not to have sex with him.
Both also continue to experience assault at the hands of their former betrothed. Tyrion does his best to protect Sansa but is as much a victim of this system as she is, albeit in different ways, and can only protect her from some of Joffrey’s abuses. Drogo isn’t even aware of Viserys’ continued abuses until he ends up raising his hand against him - but once Drogo is aware, he does try to protect his wife.
Finally, Sansa and Dany both react very differently to their husbands generally. Sansa puts up a cold wall of courtesy and doesn’t try to get to know him because she’s horribly miserable. Meanwhile, Dany learns Dothraki and attempts to speak and get to know Drogo. This is in part Stockholm Syndrome because she doesn’t have any chance of talking to anyone besides Jorah, a creepy old guy whose in love with her, and her abuse brother.
While married, they both also suffer horrible things happening to their family. Namely, Sansa’s entire family dies and Dany loses her brother and is almost poisoned to kill her son. Dany comes to rely on Drogo more while Sansa just uses this as further reasons to push Tyrion away.
They are both also present for the horrible, grueling death of their former betrothed, and both are part of the death along with their husbands. Sansa carries the poison in her hairnet and Tyrion presents the cup to Joffrey - both unknowingly, but still. Meanwhile, Dany is threatened by her brother and her husband killed him without her interference (forgivable considering its immediately after he tried to cut open her pregnant belly).
They both also have a crush that shows up at various points in their timeline: Loras/Willas and Daario. Dany is more sexually awakened, so she gets to follow through on this. Sansa dreams of it but Petyr eventually foils her chances.
Their next round of marriages/promises is similar as well: betrothals that never come to fruition. There’s vague talk of Sansa marrying Sweetrobin to combine their claims, and some talk of Dany marrying that one guy in Qarth to cement her claim to the iron throne through his funds and ships.
Next, they both end up engaged to a man (and Dany marries him) who can help them cement their claim/rule in the place they are and take back their birthright feudal societies. Sansa and Harry Hardyng, who can get her the support of the Vale to go and claim Winterfell, and Dany with Hizdhar zo Lorak, who helps her cement her claim and rule of Meereen, which will in turn help her turn her forces west to Westeros.
Finally, they both spend the entire series being groomed by much older men who are super creeps but also come off as their defenders. Sansa and Petyr Baelish and Dany and Jorah Mormont. Both have to rely on these men because they have no other guidance at points. Dany was able to obtain power and breakaway from Jorah once his betrayal came to light. Theoretically, Sansa will get to break free of Petyr once his betrayal comes to light.
Make of this what you will, but to me these two have more parallels than not and I really do think they will be friends or at least allies some day.
Okay, I’ve read enough posts insulting Dany and her Stans to be sick of it. Some may say: if it doesn’t please you, then don’t go there. But that way of thinking is too easy, and cuts discussion when I want to understand where the person comes from.
Some already said that that for some, Dany is an obstacle to what their own favorite character could have (more power, a love interest). I tend to agree with it. But I think there might be another thing. It’s, i believe, a mix of countertransference when confronted to persons with traumas, identification and projection.
What is countertransference, you might ask? To be put simply (maybe vulgarly, I can’t sum up all the writings about it in one post), it is all the reactions, the images, thoughts... that you may have (consciously or not) when you’re in front of a person you’re in position to care about. It’s what makes you either benevolent, neutral or malevolent towards that person, according to what your personal experiences are. For example, if the victim’s situation is similar to what you already lived (or imagined, for some) if you’re not sufficiently aware of it, it might make you either reject the person, either identify too much with her/him. Either there’s too much distance, either there’s too little. It’s not a rational response, it’s an emotional one. And it’s something that erase all shades in judgement (the good old reasoning good guy/bad guy). For some, It’s stronger than most. Others, more aware of their own issues, can work with it and actually distance themselves with these emotional reactions. It is also something that is also very sensitive to the belonging of a group (ex: antis vs pro). If the group is threatened, you feel threatened.
Most anti Dany are pro Stark, from what I’ve seen. Or pro Sansa plus specifically for some (because some pro Sansa are also anti Arya, which they call a psychopath/sociopath . So it’s not entirely pro Stark.)
But what is the difference in the books between Sansa and Dany concerning traumas (I’m not talking about magical blood, dragons or any events that happened conveniently in seasons that do not care for the books)?
Sansa’s first POVs (in books and first seasons) are ones of a romantic, idealistic girl, with a bit of a bully side when it comes to her sister Arya, who doesn’t quite fit in what she would expect of a girl, of a sister (she even said she would have preferred Myrcella). But for a lot of girls, this context of sibling ´ rivalry’ , but otherwise secure family unity, is quite relatable and such is the story of this girl wishing for Prince Charming.
And then came troubles and traumas, and the readers and watchers just see and LIVE with her all these traumas, sometimes as if it was their own. Because they had identified themselves too much with her when she was in security, which makes it seem even more unbearable the events that befell her. (Thus the second reaction to the countertransference). So of course they want her to move on, to get back what she has lost. Because they had already seen WHAT she has lost. Thus she does not seem too entitled to them.
Dany, to the contrary, is presented already with signs of traumatic experiences. The readers and the watchers don’t see her secure, in a happy family. They don’t see what she has lost.They see her when she has learned to be passive, and to submit to her abusers. That’s something that is terrifying, something most people can’t bear to think of, and which makes them distance themselves from her. But it’s not something socially desirable to say you don’t like a character because her traumas, present from the beginning, disturb you. So you try to rationalize. To distance yourself from her, especially if her character begins to stand up(thus the first reaction.) To say there’s something terrifying IN her: she’s mad, she’s cruel, she has too much power and it’s never enough for her... By doing that, you erase every part that doesn’t go your way to concentrate on parts you can interprete as you want. It’s not you who are in the wrong, it’s her. It’s the people that are defending her.
It’s what makes the insults easier to come, because the hatred is not based on rational thinking, but on an emotional reaction. And of course, they’re happy that the show ´proved them right’. They don’t have to question themselves about it too much. But then... the show did not completely give back to Sansa what she had lost, did it? And now, other Stans are questioning them being right..
So then goes an eternal spiral of hatred and misunderstandings. Because the thing with hatred ? It’s extremely contagious.
But insults to one character and its fans are not valid arguments. It only makes the discussion poorer and poorer.
Some may disagree with what I’ve said. I welcome the discussion. But if I see even one insult in the comments, be sure I’m going to expose you. So let’s be constructive.
