there are days (or weeks) where it feels like I’m completely isolated.
like my whole existence is just in a bubble where people will come in, but not stay
the bubble could extend to ten or more people... or it could be one person... no matter who it is, they always end up leaving again.
and again.
and again.
there are some people whose gift in life is to extend that bubble as far as they want, and the people will stay
but then there are people like me, and any connections i make get severed and no one really tries to bring them back together
the bubble prevents me from reaching out, too
is that me? my fault? is it something i do?
is it just the fate of the world?
is it the people around me who have that special gift, and who pull everyone else into their bubble with them? leaving no one behind for the lonelier people?
the world doesn’t make sense and i’m sick of it
the world hates loners
people like me
the world wants everyone to fit into a mold, and the cold, hard fact is that some just don’t. some will be ostracized or rejected or passively removed
i’m sick of how friends treat friends
that word has way too many and way too few meanings
it doesn’t leave room for the people who pop in just to say hello, take what they want, and leave when they’re tired of you
it doesn’t leave room for the people who give you a hug once a week, then never text you in between
it doesn’t leave any kind of room for those people who proclaim their friendship in words but never act it out
no one wins in this situation
either i feel trashed and used and discarded and worthless
or you look at me and know you lost a friendship that could have been beautiful
