The first time you had an accident in your big girl undies, it was while you were asleep. You woke up in the morning with wet sheets and pajama bottoms, but you chalked it up as nothing more than a one-time accident. You were a big girl, after all, and big girls do not wet the bed like that. You were certain it wouldn't happen again.
When it did happen again a few weeks later, you were slightly more distressed, but you told yourself you must have just drank too much before bed. Maybe you had a lot on your mind, or had a nightmare. Either way, it wasn't anything to make a big deal out of. And you continued to find new ways to justify your accidents as they increased in frequency over the next few weeks. Before you knew it, you were wetting the bed more often than you were keeping it dry.
Somewhere along the line, you got the brilliant idea to start sleeping with a towel between you and your sheets, but when that wasn't enough to save your mattress, you knew something more needed to be done. As humiliating as it was, you stood in line at the convenience store check out with a pack of adult diapers buried in your arms. They were the pullup kind, the ones old ladies wore, but they had a cute little bow on the front, and that made you feel almost a bit better in a weirdly comforting way.
The pullups did help some at first. They kept your bedding mostly dry, with only a few leaks here and there. But by that point, you were wetting the bed every night. As more and more weeks passed, your little nighttime mishaps became too much to manage. Your pullups were leaking every night, and it was like you weren't wearing protection at all.
That's when it happened. One day, out of nowhere, while you were out going for a run, you felt a sudden pressure build up in your bladder. It came out of nowhere, and before long, you were desperate to pee. You pressed your hands to your crotch while you scrambled looking for the nearest bathroom, but you just couldn't manage to hold on. With a whine, you felt the pee leaking out in short bursts, then longer ones, as the stain spread all throughout your light gray leggings. There was no hiding what you had done. On the way home, every person you passed could tell you had failed to control yourself. What must they all be thinking, seeing a grown woman like yourself struggle with potty training? The mere thought sent hot flashes into your cheeks.
You spent all your waking hours online, looking for any potential solution. You were far too embarrassed to tell anyone, even your doctor. She would think you were ridiculous, and you knew you could never live down the shame. When you first stumbled upon the idea of something more... absorbent, you scoffed at the notion. But as the days passed, and more and more mornings were greeted with wet beds, you started to seriously consider the idea.
It was when you had your second daytime accident that you knew something needed to change. You were working from home on your computer when out of nowhere, you felt a sudden dampness beneath you. You felt at your seat and sure enough, you had had an accident all over yourself without even realizing. There were no warning signs, no pressures in your bladder. You had simply sat there and wet yourself without noticing like a helpless toddler, and maybe you were no better than one. You placed the order for thick tape-on diapers that night.
Now, looking back on that time in your life, you wonder how you ever got by without them. You can't control yourself at all at this point. Every day, you go through several tape-on diapers as you fill your pants like the good little girl you are. Any sense of adulthood you once had is long gone by now. Maybe it left you when you started having uncontrollable accidents, or maybe it left when you purchased your first pack of adult baby diapers. Just because you had to wear protection, that didn't mean you couldn't look cute, did it? Sure, the designs were childish and embarrassing, but you didn't want to crinkle around in plain plastic medical diapers all the time. The ones for adult babies were just so much cuter. It's not your fault they look so much better on you, after all.
The pacifier and onesies you purchased, those were harder to explain away, but as long as no one ever caught you using them, what did it hurt? Sure, you could hardly call yourself a big girl anymore, but you were no longer sure you even wanted to. It felt so much better to just give in, to embrace the life of an adult baby. And as you suckled on your pacifier and filled your thick teddy bear diapers, you were sure you never wanted to go back.
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