@cratedig: "oh, to be nineteen again!"
even amidst the sarcasm, there is some truth to it, at least for alice. she remembers that age so clearly - it seemed, on the surface, a better time. everything was new then; still fresh with the newfound privilege of adulthood. still in the prime of her career, drowning in adoration. still in love, untainted, untethered. roy hadn't soured on her yet, he was still as good as a man could be. everything picturesque, dream-like, perfect.
(in this moment, she doesn't realize she's forgotten key details. the red flags, the warning signs.)
alice is a silent observer, watching ellie, though her mind is only half-present. she thinks for a second, she would kill to be nineteen again, to have that naivete even just for a brief moment. silence is replaced by the sound of an exhale. "i was really stupid back then," she says, falling flat in tone. "sometimes i wish i still was."