There are people out there who dedicate their lives to finding the infamous “Big Foot”. They thrive off of small clues and subtle hints that he really is alive and well. This has been going on for years. For as long as people have looked, don’t you think they would have found something by now? They have all the right clues and they work tirelessly to always come home empty handed. As I reflect on this and think to myself how sad of a life that must be I am actually reminded of something similar in my own life. I myself do not believe in big foot, but I did and still believe in something along the same lines.
There was a boy. Isn’t that how all good stories begin? This boy captured the very essence of my being. I had a great life, but he took my great life and inverted the colors turning it into a never ending adventure. Our love was spontaneous like waves in the ocean. I never had a shell to be brought out of, but he helped me embrace myself in new ways. I had scars and he gave them butterfly kisses and made me feel beautiful. He was a shy boy and we loved like the sun and moon. We transformed our relationship like the seasons transform the flowers, trees, and grass. We had endless summers and romantic falls but our own cold winter fell upon us. Just as the leaves, people change. We can become dull and crispy, hardened by the cold winds of life. Our spring came and just as the resilient trees we tried to grow back our leaves and blossoms, but we were never as full of life. Our branches were sparse and buds were few though we tried our best to prosper. Try as we may, we were never the same.
Our love is like searching for big foot. First we were exhilarated at the thought of uncovering a timeless “treasure”, in which for us would be endless love and happiness. We searched and gained evidence but soon the tokens of our belief would become scarce. We held on to any inkling of life we found but it never seemed to add up. We found clue after clue but the puzzle pieces we collected never finished the picture. We dedicated endless hours and attention but after time we realized that some things just aren’t meant to be discovered. Some puzzle pieces just won’t fit. It is hard to feel like the time spent wasn’t in vain, like the hard work was all for nothing. It wasn’t, because here I stand with stronger roots than ever but sometimes it’s hard to realize what you can’t see. All I know is that when I discovered, there was nothing left to be discovered, my heart entered the coldest winter of my life.
I am resilient like the trees though, and I will soon find my spring. I will feel the suns warm rays and blossom once more. My heart , like the trunk of a tree, has an engraving of our initials. Though they will be weathered by the seasons of life that are yet to come, they will always be relevant as to how grew into just what I am meant to be.