"I dare you to put wasabi on your dick."
Such a bold statement. Yuuri didn't need to think long before replying:
A look of pain flashed across Phichit's face. Because this wasn’t American wasabi, but authentic, true to the pain, Japanese wasabi.
"Mmmm…" Phichit hums and Yuuri does not like the look that spreads over it. "How about we up the stakes: ghost pepper sauce."
Does…does Phichit want his dick to fall off? He states as much and watches the shit-eating grin grow.
"What, you chicken, Katsuki?"
Goddammit, Yuuri thinks, Phichit does not play fair. But that just means I don't have to either.
"Fine!" he all but shouts in their small room, "But only if you suck it!"
He relishes in the dead-inside look that sits on Phichit's face. But then he watches in silent horror at the determination that settles on his face.
"Alright, you've got yourself a deal."
They shake on it and everything.
And that's how they find themselves at the Emergency Department not a mere hours after those fateful words were spoken.
Yuuri sits in his own room, silently sending a plead to whoever might be listening that his parents—especially his mother—don't find out about this. He really should've read the student manual better. Or at all.
But instead, he's trapped on a white bed covered in cheap paper that crinkles with his every move with a burning dick.
At least his doctor is hot.
Victor couldn't believe the chart.
He reread it for the fourth time and turned to look at his intern with a confused look on his face.
"Don't look at me!" Yuri, his intern for this rotation schedule scoffs at him, "These young kids do whatever nowadays, remember all those preteens and the tide pods?"
Victor does indeed remember all those preteens and the tide pods.
Maybe they should rename this whole section of the city 'Detergent Derby' and just embrace their terrible penchant for the Forbidden Fruit™.
His confusion follows him into the room as he finally gets a look at his patient Yuuri Katsuki, 23 years old, admitted for burning on the penis from ghost pepper sauce.
"So, Mr. Katsuki," Victor starts, his professional mask slipping into place easily, "it looks here like you've got a problem."
At least the college boy has some decency to look embarrassed. Though, if Victor's being honest, Yuuri doesn't look the type to do stupid fraternity hazing.
Yuuri blushes at the bluntly put question. He rubs the back of his neck, "Well, it started off as a dare, really."
"I see. And what convinced you that it would be a good idea to do this?"
Yuuri simply shrugs and adverts his eyes as he mumbles, "The head was worth it."
He hears a choking sound and watches as Dr. Nikiforov rushes out the room.
Maybe he wasn't as quiet as he thought he was.