Do you even lift, Bro Una?
Una carrying members of the crew, becasue thats a thing now.
Una looked at captain pike with her eyebrow raised. “Captain, what did the ambassador just say?”
The captain had the decency to look chagrined. He cleared his throat. “Well…ambassador Talia said that as enterprises matriarch, it is ceremonial to carry me…um…your husband around the Mother Tree to demonstrate your strength, determination and selflessness. Thus concluded, we can begin negotiations for them to join Starfleet.
Una just stared at him unamused for a moment longer, making the captain squirm slightly under her piercing gaze. Then she turned to ambassador talia with a smile and gave a small bow. “Of course, ambassador.”
With that, she quickly scooped the captain up bridal style, held him easily in her arms and began to circle the giant tree while the rest of the Triani delegation followed, all holding hands.
“Chris,” una said somewhat exacerbated. “How does this keep happening?”
“What?” the captain asked with faux innocence. He draped his arms loosely around his number ones neck and beamed. He looked entirely too comfortable being carried like this.
Una rolled her eyes. “You know exactly what I mean.”
The captain just smiled up at her and kicked his feet a little bit. “What? I cant help it if everyone thinks we are married.”
Una scoffed. “Of course, you can. You really need to stop letting this happen.” She looked down at him with an eyebrow arched. “Remember the lecture la’an gave you after the mix up on Tsalia IV where they thought you and the entire away team were married?”
The captain grimaced. “Oof. Yeah, that was bad,” he agreed. La’ans lecture on potential security risks due to the captains egregious and overly effusive affection for the crew which led to a gross misunderstanding and required them to enact several DAYS worth of a fake married situation, still made him shudder.
“Yes,” una agreed. “And on Zelon III where they thought you and spock were married?” The captain tilted his head acknowledging unas words.
“Or Yshlyn prime, Pheora X and Lusitianan one where they ALL thought WE were married.”
“There is that,” the captain agreed lightly.
“Or my favorite, Cathlos II where we had to watch you and ortegas try not to bicker us all to death because they thought you were married.”
The captain groaned at the memory. He gave out a low chuckle. “That was…memorable.” He agreed. Then he snuggled further into una as she held him tightly. “I think my favorite was Moop’sey Mons where you and I were married and somehow la’an and spock were our kids.” The captain grinned.
Una snorted then rolled her eyes. But she didn’t argue. Because…it had felt right calling la’an her family. And it had been adorable watching la’an and spock squabble like true siblings.
“My point is,” una said severely. “This needs to stop happening.”
The captain just shrugged. “I will do my best,” he promised as una finished the walk around the tree and gently set him back down. She smiled softly as she steadied him a moment. She knew he would try. But she also knew chris. This would keep happening.
