Beverly: Oh boy, it’s about to get real awkward in here...
Roberto: Uh... Martha, can you start first?
Martha: Sure, just send the youngest sibling out to break everyone in. Fine. Here we go...
Martha: Anya doesn’t like me much. Clark isn’t very fond of me either, although the line between family and just straight up state rivalries is pretty blurry for all of us. And the person I find the hardest to deal with and the most irritating is Beverly. She can be a bit overbearing as an older sibling, and I don’t thinks she’s entirely happy I’ve outgrown her a bit and have a bit more weight to throw around than she does. At the same time, she’s still family, just like Clark. Alright, Bev. You’re next.
Beverly: Good, because Rob’s still furiously scribbling over there in a notebook.
Beverly: So I know Martha’s got some problems with me. Probably because I forget that her state has sales tax and I hate pumping my own gas (listen until recently, it was illegal at home that’s not my fault). But I don’t have any hard feelings towards her most of the time, except over petty things. Family squabbles, all that jazz.
Roberto, meanwhile... we Oregonians seem like polite people, but we will trash-talk Californians to no end. If you move up here from California, it might be best not to mention it. We’re going to say you’re terrible drivers and causing sky rocketing real estate costs. We will tease you relentlessly. Alright, Berto. Your turn.
Roberto: Oh god, where do I even start...
Roberto: SO HERE IS EVERYONE THAT DOESN’T LIKE ME A LOT
I’m apparently a terrible neighbor, according to Bev, Lilakai, and Haiwee. No idea what Helen and Kit’s problems are. Akamu, is it the surfers that annoy you? Jan and I are constantly competing to be the cultural capital of the US. Jan may have the nightly news and Wall Street, but I have Hollywood, so HA IN YOUR FACE JAN KEES!
As for my worst enemy though...
Roberto: I could say a lot more about Samuel Seguín, but I’m going to refrain from it for the moment. You’d think to a certain extent this isn’t that big of a deal. Sam’s halfway across the country from me, I don’t have to see him that often. However, that assumption is incorrect for one massive reason...
Has Beverly ever mentioned that Texas is her best friend?
Credit from Mun Jack: The Arizona, Colorado, Nevada, and Texas characters on this blog all belong to @crikadelic. Thank you for letting me adopt your children, Indy, and draw them here. (Maybe next time I’ll actually have the energy to draw Lilakai, Kit, and Haiwee.)
Also, most of the state rivalries/enemies are pulled from this article, with the exception of Oregon’s. In my whole almost twenty years of life as an Oregonian, I have never heard anyone say anything really nasty about Washington. California, however, we trash talk almost every day. Also, every fellow Oregonian I asked said “Oh yeah, California’s our biggest enemy”, so take from that what you will.